damnitsteve

[lowthreeohz]

Live off the coast of Madagascar now do we?

I'm on a boat, mfer!

[lowthreeohz]

ftfy.

Tyftftfy

[Pokulski-Blatz]

Busted

When you sell a van, does the DMV issue an AA sponsor with your next car purchase?

[talisman]

Tyftftfy

np, mfer!

[lowthreeohz]

Roll up another joint
One more time to clear my head
And I'll get right to the point,
I better star feelin better or I'm better off dead,

Put some ice in a dixie cup,
Pass the whiskey over here
Take that joint and fire it up,
And if there ain't no whiskey pass the beer,

I got just about two dollars but I know someone with five,
I got fifty cents on gas if you agree to drive,
We can head on down to the liquor store find somethin to cure our ills,
If whiskey won't do it then cheap wine surely will,

I stumble in to the liquor store
With a dollar-fifty for a bottle of wine,
I know just what I'm lookin for
Thunderbird will do just fine

[BradM]

When you sell a van, does the DMV issue an AA sponsor with your next car purchase?

Unless that means I'm going to be sponsored by American Airlines, I'm not interested.

[grove rat]

cliffnotes?




donthavetimeforallthat.jpeg

[petyweestraw]

[petyweestraw]

And to lighten the mood.

[mstng86]

cliffnotes?




donthavetimeforallthat.jpeg

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore —
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door —
"'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door —
Only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door —
Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door; —
This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you " — here I opened wide the door; ——
Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" —
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore —
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door —
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door —
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore —
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning — little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door —
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered —
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before —
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore —
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never — nevermore'."

But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore —
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite — respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! —
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted —
On this home by Horror haunted — tell me truly, I implore —
Is there — is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil — prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us — by that God we both adore —
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore —
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting —
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted — nevermore!

[petyweestraw]

[Kimmypie]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore —
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door —
"'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door —
Only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door —
Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door; —
This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you " — here I opened wide the door; ——
Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" —
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore —
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door —
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door —
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore —
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning — little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door —
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered —
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before —
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore —
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never — nevermore'."

But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore —
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite — respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! —
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted —
On this home by Horror haunted — tell me truly, I implore —
Is there — is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil — prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us — by that God we both adore —
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore —
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting —
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted — nevermore!

Fucking brilliant! I adore the originator of American horror!

[Kimmypie]

seb. im only going to say this one more time, i sent a sincere pm to kim apologizing. she replied by posting the pm in public on the board and telling me to go fuck myself. anything after that is on her.

i still dont know what the fuck talidumb is talking about. i didnt know they had kids to lose, i just know they were trying to get her pregnant and i gave my opinion on what fine upstounding mother she sounded like she would be after whoring around on the baord for years.

That apology was no where near sincere. It was a cluster fuck of "here's why I said what I did, but I don't give a shit if you forgive me". You even managed to throw a few more insults into your "apology". If you think that's what a sincere apology sounds like, you maybe should Google what a sincere apology is. So anything after that BS "apology" is firmly on your ignorant ass shoulders.

And for the record, I've been with Christian for 9 years and haven't touched another man since the day I met him. You have zero idea about what sort of mother I'd be especially since you can't even figure out who the fuck I am.

Since you seem to want to compare me to others let's compare you & me: you are a drunk, I am not; you are obviously an idiot, I have an IQ over 120; you can't hang at college, I have a Bachelors degree Magna Cum Laude (that means I got 3.962 out of a 4.0) & I'm starting my Masters in July which I fully expect to end up with a 4.0. I worked full time while earning my BS & will do the same with my MS & you can't even hold a job. You live off the govt tit, while I teach and Influence the future of America; I have claimed every dime and paid my taxes in every job I've had since I was 16, you, from what I've gathered using my reading comprehension skills, collect assistance from the govt while you could be working. Speaking of working, apparently you will take side jobs or menial labor which keeps you under the limit, so you can still suckle the govt tit while affording to build race cars. I don't tell my parents to "suck cock in Hell" because I respect them. I also don't profess to be a Christian whilst being the biggest asshole & hypocrite I can manage to be like you do constantly on here. I am not religious at all, but I am a moral, non-hypocrite who actually acts in person exactly the way I act on here. I can make & keep friends (some of who I've had for 30+ years) how long have you managed to keep friends in your life?

I'm not even sure why I bothered to write all this because you won't even be able to understand or comprehend much of it.

I don't hate you, Steve. I feel sorry for you & the life you've created for yourself. Too bad you don't have the self respect or intelligence to get yourself together and remake your obviously shitty life.

Also, bringing up Osiris was a nasty thing to do and shows exactly what sort of person you really are.

[Trip McNeely]

That apology was no where near sincere. It was a cluster fuck of "here's why I said what I did, but I don't give a shit if you forgive me". You even managed to throw a few more insults into your "apology". If you think that's what a sincere apology sounds like, you maybe should Google what a sincere apology is. So anything after that BS "apology" is firmly on your ignorant ass shoulders.

And for the record, I've been with Christian for 9 years and haven't touched another man since the day I met him. You have zero idea about what sort of mother I'd be especially since you can't even figure out who the fuck I am.

Since you seem to want to compare me to others let's compare you & me: you are a drunk, I am not; you are obviously an idiot, I have an IQ over 120; you can't hang at college, I have a Bachelors degree Magna Cum Laude (that means I got 3.962 out of a 4.0) & I'm starting my Masters in July which I fully expect to end up with a 4.0. I worked full time while earning my BS & will do the same with my MS & you can't even hold a job. You live off the govt tit, while I teach and Influence the future of America; I have claimed every dime and paid my taxes in every job I've had since I was 16, you, from what I've gathered using my reading comprehension skills, collect assistance from the govt while you could be working. Speaking of working, apparently you will take side jobs or menial labor which keeps you under the limit, so you can still suckle the govt tit while affording to build race cars. I don't tell my parents to "suck cock in Hell" because I respect them. I also don't profess to be a Christian whilst being the biggest asshole & hypocrite I can manage to be like you do constantly on here. I am not religious at all, but I am a moral, non-hypocrite who actually acts in person exactly the way I act on here. I can make & keep friends (some of who I've had for 30+ years) how long have you managed to keep friends in your life?

I'm not even sure why I bothered to write all this because you won't even be able to understand or comprehend much of it.

I don't hate you, Steve. I feel sorry for you & the life you've created for yourself. Too bad you don't have the self respect or intelligence to get yourself together and remake your obviously shitty life.

Also, bringing up Osiris was a nasty thing to do and shows exactly what sort of person you really are.

After reading this whole thread, this is by far the best post. A++
Steve is a sorry sack of shit, I wouldn't credit his words worth the bottom of your shoe.

[talisman]

Fatality.