May need a lawyer... DVORCE NEVER ENDS

[talisman]

Holy Shit dude... makes me want to pay the 600 and go on with life....

It's funny, the few times I've had to deal with the AG folks over the phone, you could FEEL the condescension in their voice.....

"SURE You are up to date in your payments Mr. Kaufmann....."
"Let US decide that for you..."

What do you expect with a douche like Greg Abbott running things. Still waiting on him to go after that 200 million State Farm owes us. Instead, he is concerned about homosexuals and morality.

[bcoop]

I've read what you had to do with that shit before, Brent, but reading it again even makes me mad. Ridiculous.

I apologize to all for my rambling rant. This is one thing that sets me off like no other. I get so damn emotional over it all, because it's flat out disgusting and is the nightmare I lived for 5 years or so. I was so passionate about it, I helped any and everyone I possibly could. I listened, I volunteered, I was asked to speak many times on my experiences at FFER events. I offered advice to many board members over the years. My experience was so awful, I wanted to fight back. To buck the system. To take a stand and show the state that fathers weren't going to lay down and take it anymore. I eventually had to back off of that. I became so jaded, so bitter, and so biased, that I couldn't take the heartbreak of uphill battle after uphill battle any longer. It was literally eating me alive. It still does when I think about it. When I was a young dumbass, I went to jail several times. Even that wasn't a fraction as humiliating as what I went through with the family courts. Court clerks laughing in your face, making snide comments like "ha, good luck with this, you must have more money than sense". I shit you not. Thats verbatim, and it wasnt a single incident, i received the same treatment from every fucking court employee i encountered with one exception. The woman judge i had for the final custody hearing. She understood it. She got it. But i have to think that had the egg donor not shown up to court a half hour late, I'd have received similar treatment from her. It was almost as if every employee there, judges included, was a product of a broken home with no father figure. And they were all jealous that some punk kid with no money, no attorney, and no clue what he was doing was standing up and doing something their fathers didn't do. So they hated me for it.

Denny, I know I thanked you many years ago. But the experience, advice, and guidance you selflessly offered me was invaluable. I'll be forever grateful. Seriously bro. I wouldn't have my son if it wasn't for the advice you offered. That's something you can't put a price on. Thank you, again.


I just got burned out. It was killing me. My only advice now to people in similar situations is to be fully aware and prepared for the mental mind fuck that they are about to experience. Be prepared for the degradation and humiliation you will be subjected to for standing up and doing the right thing. It's really a fucking shame. It's an uphill battle that's almost impossible to win. It will drain you mentally, financially, emotionally, and physically. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, it's that bad.

[talisman]

Some rough shit for sure man. Makes my last 6 months sound like a cake walk. Thankfully no kids involved. I think if there were, my life would be in total ruins. I don't know how people deal with it and still try their damnedest to raise the children. My hats off to anyone that is even 50% successful at it.

[bcoop]

I'm not an overly litigious person. I think frivolous lawsuits are a waste of resources and tax money. But ill say this. If I had the resources to do so, I would have filed suit against every court clerk and judge I encountered (with the exception of the final judge that ruled on my permanent orders. And I would have gone after the State, the County of Dallas, and the fucking attorney general too. I know none of that would have been winnable. But if I had the resources to do it, I would have just to prove a fucking point. To get the media attention on the big elephant in the room. To raise national awareness of what I consider a serious fucking problem.


Fuck. I'm going to take my daughter to the park to get my mind off this. Thanks for letting me vent! Lol

[Treasure Chest]

Actually Leah that is the plan and the reason I am not freaking out too much. The state of Texas recognizes common law marriages so we can submit something to the court saying we are married, I can have my name changed and go on with life.

I thought you guys were getting married in the USVI. Did that fall through?

[halo/horns]

Our company uses expertpay.com and it saves a lot of exls. We used to mail a check weekly but the money would show up on different days and one particular wife would call up QUICK if she felt it had taken too long. So, we use expertpay.com so it gets there faster and keeps her off my ass.

I understand her concern... and her need for the money but she wasn't MY ex so I didn't like having to deal with her. lol

[Treasure Chest]

If I had the resources to do so, I would have filed suit against every court clerk and judge I encountered (with the exception of the final judge that ruled on my permanent orders. And I would have gone after the State, the County of Dallas, and the fucking attorney general too. I know none of that would have been winnable. But if I had the resources to do it, I would have just to prove a fucking point. To get the media attention on the big elephant in the room. To raise national awareness of what I consider a serious fucking problem.


Fuck. I'm going to take my daughter to the park to get my mind off this. Thanks for letting me vent! Lol

God, Brent. I hate hearing crap like this. I'm all for father's rights, more often than not, they do get screwed.

The most important thing to me in my divorce was doing whatever I could to maintain a healthy friendship with my ex so we could successfully put aside our personal frustrations and efficiently co-parent the kids.

Hell, we have a 2 day and 2 day visitation agreement, he pays their insurance, and what amounts to be 10% total for both kids. He took a job in Nac last year, and now sees the kids on weekends, and I still haven't tried upping his support payments because he's not caring for them equally anymore.

My first husband, OTOH, is a worthless pos who hasn't held a job in years, won't work, and is supported by his wife. I can't get this worthless assclown to even pay the $200/mo he owes. I'm lucky to see $100 every couple of months. His arrears are much more than double what he owes, and nothing happens. It's not even about the money, it's about complete and total lack of responsibility, in my mind. Where is the portion of his brain that says, "I fathered a child, I owe very little a month, at the very least, I should get a job flipping burgers instead of leaching off the barely $20k a year my wife makes."

If the tables were turned, he was working to support his wife, and they were struggling, I wouldn't care. At least he'd show some sense of obligation and responsibility.

Sorry that turned into that. It just seems that the useless ones face no penalties and the good guys are crucified.

[Gargamel]

I thought you guys were getting married in the USVI. Did that fall through?

It was a combination of price, timeline, work schedules, and the PITA factor.

We looked at Hawaii (Oahu, Maui and Kauai), USVI, and Puerto Rico (including Culebra)

For us, the best cost\fun ratio was another option entirely... a combo cruise and Beach stay at Galveston (which is where we already love going to...)

We're getting married on the beach with a 3 day stay at a nice big rental apartment just off Seawall next to our favorite hangouts.... (www.vrbo.com rocks btw)

Add to that a 5 day Caribbean cruise in a kick-ass balcony suite....

All for much less than going anywhere else... and we don't have to screw with Airports\Passports\whatever...

Drive out, drive back... with a week of non-stop booze\sex infested playtime in between....

Sounded good to both of us....

[Treasure Chest]

It was a combination of price, timeline, work schedules, and the PITA factor.

We looked at Hawaii (Oahu, Maui and Kauai), USVI, and Puerto Rico (including Culebra)

For us, the best cost\fun ratio was another option entirely... a combo cruise and Beach stay at Galveston (which is where we already love going to...)

We're getting married on the beach with a 3 day stay at a nice big rental apartment just off Seawall next to our favorite hangouts.... (www.vrbo.com rocks btw)

Add to that a 5 day Caribbean cruise in a kick-ass balcony suite....

All for much less than going anywhere else... and we don't have to screw with Airports\Passports\whatever...

Drive out, drive back... with a week of non-stop booze\sex infested playtime in between....

Sounded good to both of us....

Right on We're going with Saint Thomas. No passports, no worries, my sister and her friend are coming with. For less than $2800 we have the week long honeymoon and the ceremony. All we have to do is pick up the license and show up on the beach.

[V8tt]

And WTF exactly is the difference?

If you are too stupid to figure it out...trying to explain the difference to you would be a waste of my time.

Nanny stater all the way huh. Your standards should be everyone else's.

I have no idea what point, if any, you are trying to make here.

[Roscoe]

Why people bitch about supporting their own kids is beyond me...

[bcoop]

Why people bitch about supporting their own kids is beyond me...

I think it's an obligation to do so. However, I think some of the amounts people get stuck with is absurd. I'm with Al as far as that goes. $1000+/month is unnecessary. Especially from about 2 yrs- say middle school. I know what it costs to raise a child, my children specifically. And $1000+/mo is way too high in our scenario.

[Roscoe]

I think it's an obligation to do so. However, I think some of the amounts people get stuck with is absurd. I'm with Al as far as that goes. $1000+/month is unnecessary. Especially from about 2 yrs- say middle school. I know what it costs to raise a child, my children specifically. And $1000+/mo is way too high in our scenario.

If I were in a situation that my wife and I were separated, I would expect to pay $1k/mo+. Hell, my daycare bill alone for my 4.5yr old daughter is $771/mo on average ($178*52/12). Factor in clothes (which she goes through at a ridiculous rate), food, entertainment, etc - you're looking WELL above $1k/mo in cost to support one child.

Agree to disagree.

[Treasure Chest]

If I were in a situation that my wife and I were separated, I would expect to pay $1k/mo+. Hell, my daycare bill alone for my 4.5yr old daughter is $771/mo on average ($178*52/12). Factor in clothes (which she goes through at a ridiculous rate), food, entertainment, etc - you're looking WELL above $1k/mo in cost to support one child.

Agree to disagree.

True, but there's also reasonable expense. I've seen mothers clammer for more money because her 12 year old will only wear $150 jeans and Victoria's Secret underwear, wants a new iPhone, and expects to go on ski trips, beach weekends. The child can't fathom reading a book or playing outside when she's bored, or wearing a $20 pair of jeans from Aeropostale.

There has to be a balance between providing for the needs of the child and financing outlandish desires.
I told the chick I'm referencing that her daughter needs to rent herself out as a mother's helper or something to save up money for the crap she expects to have.

[talisman]

True, but there's also reasonable expense. I've seen mothers clammer for more money because her 12 year old will only wear $150 jeans and Victoria's Secret underwear, wants a new iPhone, and expects to go on ski trips, beach weekends. The child can't fathom reading a book or playing outside when she's bored, or wearing a $20 pair of jeans from Aeropostale.

The child will end up being in the same situation as her mother in that scenario. Divorced with kids, sucking the lifeblood out of her ex so that she can continue her ridiculous lifestyle, meanwhile inadvertently teaching her kids that it is normal, and thus the cycle repeats.