May need a lawyer... DVORCE NEVER ENDS

[stevo]

Geez, I'm glad I did the cloth diapering and breastfeeding thing.

Al tried breastfeeding, the baby didn't like the hair on his nipples.

Stevo

[Leah]

My yougest is 3 and potty trained. I can now return home.

Lmao!


I don't get shit from my ex when it comes to child support. About half of what you guys are estimating and that is for 2 kids! It didn't even cover daycare for my daughter much less have anything left over for clothes, glasses, etc. It's much more expensive than you think.

[slow84lx]

Well said, slow84lx.

Roscoe, you also aren't considering the clothes you still have to buy, toys, food and such when with you. Health care is usually paid by the father, in addition to CS. Oh, and then Mom will expect half of activities like sports, cheerleading, etc. And thats outside of your ordered CS.

Thanks, Brent. I've read much of what you have posted over the years about your situation also and have respect for what you are doing for your daughter. My situation was not that extreme but it still sucks to get the short end of the stick. What really sucks is that she knows just how far she can push me and still get everything that she wants while denying me my rights / time / etc. while always doing her best to demean and turn the kids against Dad.

My prayers are that when they are older they will see what she has done over the years while also realizing that Dad was right there all along supporting them along the way.

[slow84lx]

Let me clarify - I meant $2k/mo to collectively raise a kid, including costs of daycare, healthcare, food, clothing, and shelter, which should be split, meaning the father should owe at least $1k/mo.

I re-read and understand better now what you said. Most of the costs of daycare / healthcare diminish greatly as they get older. Food & clothing do go up. Teenagers eat like crazy! I would feel better if I thought that we were sharing the cost of raising the kids instead of me footing the whole bill. She makes more $$$ than I do now before she gets the child support money and still spends it all every month without the kids having the things that they need.

[bcoop]

Well said, slow84lx.

Roscoe, you also aren't considering the clothes you still have to buy, toys, food and such when with you. Health care is usually paid by the father, in addition to CS. Oh, and then Mom will expect half of activities like sports, cheerleading, etc. And thats outside of your ordered CS.

[Roscoe]

I gotcha.

Let me clarify - I meant $2k/mo to collectively raise a kid, including costs of daycare, healthcare, food, clothing, and shelter, which should be split, meaning the father should owe at least $1k/mo.

Please read what I was quoting when I said $2k/mo and that will put it into perspective.

[slow84lx]

I didn't say $2k/mo for healthcare. If you also read some of my prior comments, you'll note I'm not divorced, so I'm speculating on what all factors involved could be.

I don't know "the system", nor do I care to. I understand that it is slighted against fathers and that sucks.

I was stating my opinions, not fact.

I gotcha.

[Roscoe]

This isn't correct and I respectfully agree to disagree.

If you are paying child support you still have to have a place for your kids to play and sleep when they are with you. Living in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment can get you by for a while (especially when they are very small) but you want the kids to be comfortable too, and live in a safe place where there are other kids their age to play with.

$2k a month is far beyond the cost of healthcare in all but a few cases.

You can have joint custody and still pay child support.

Roscoe, I've read some of your comments and do not agree with most of them. I've been raising / supporting my 3 kids since the divorce 13 years ago and have a lot of experience (much of it bad) to speak from. Normally I just read and keep my thoughts to myself. This time I needed to let it out.

It really sucks to know that the ex-wife and a series of new hubby's live in an expensive home (the kids benefit here), drive new cars, do plenty of going out to dinner / concerts, while the kids come to my house always wearing ragamuffin clothes with holes in them, needing books for school / new glasses / contacts / haircuts, etc., that Mom says she cannot pay for despite all of the $$$ she gets in child support.

BTW, her new hubby of the last 3 years works minimum wage jobs. I can definitely say that the child support money in this case is really (at least partially) new hubby support money. If the kids got the full benefit of the $$$ I would have no complaints. When the kids were small we had joint custody and I paid $13k per year directly to the day care center on top of providing for the other kids needs. This was expensive but worked for me much better than the current method of the state deducting 30% directly from my paycheck and handing it to her as spending money. She has never had a budget or any control over her spending. Thankfully the kids are all teenagers now and child support (directly to her through the state) will be ending soon. I have no problem supporting / helping my kids become good, upstanding adults but do completely disagree with the methods that the AG / court system treat Father's in divorce / child support cases. Mom can do anything she wants to do (including blatantly violating all facets of the divorce decree) and the state doesn't care one bit about the Father's rights that are being violated......but, keep on paying that money to Momma cause that is all that matters.

I didn't say $2k/mo for healthcare. If you also read some of my prior comments, you'll note I'm not divorced, so I'm speculating on what all factors involved could be.

I don't know "the system", nor do I care to. I understand that it is slighted against fathers and that sucks.

I was stating my opinions, not fact.

[slow84lx]

Why any woman would marry a man without ambition and working minimum wage jobs is beyond me. Setting the marriage up for failure.

Well said!

In my case they are going to be in financial pain when she no longer recieves child support from me.

[davbrucas]

Why any woman would marry a man without ambition and working minimum wage jobs is beyond me. Setting the marriage up for failure.

[slow84lx]

Let's not forget cost of healthcare... I think $2k a month is close to accurate, let's look at it like this - if you're paying child support you obviously don't have joint custody and can get by in a 1bd apartment, whereas the supporting parent has to at least maintain a 2bd + all associated expenses...

There are many other costs involved that you don't consider at face value.

This isn't correct and I respectfully agree to disagree.

If you are paying child support you still have to have a place for your kids to play and sleep when they are with you. Living in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment can get you by for a while (especially when they are very small) but you want the kids to be comfortable too, and live in a safe place where there are other kids their age to play with.

$2k a month is far beyond the cost of healthcare in all but a few cases.

You can have joint custody and still pay child support.

Roscoe, I've read some of your comments and do not agree with most of them. I've been raising / supporting my 3 kids since the divorce 13 years ago and have a lot of experience (much of it bad) to speak from. Normally I just read and keep my thoughts to myself. This time I needed to let it out.

It really sucks to know that the ex-wife and a series of new hubby's live in an expensive home (the kids benefit here), drive new cars, do plenty of going out to dinner / concerts, while the kids come to my house always wearing ragamuffin clothes with holes in them, needing books for school / new glasses / contacts / haircuts, etc., that Mom says she cannot pay for despite all of the $$$ she gets in child support.

BTW, her new hubby of the last 3 years works minimum wage jobs. I can definitely say that the child support money in this case is really (at least partially) new hubby support money. If the kids got the full benefit of the $$$ I would have no complaints. When the kids were small we had joint custody and I paid $13k per year directly to the day care center on top of providing for the other kids needs. This was expensive but worked for me much better than the current method of the state deducting 30% directly from my paycheck and handing it to her as spending money. She has never had a budget or any control over her spending. Thankfully the kids are all teenagers now and child support (directly to her through the state) will be ending soon. I have no problem supporting / helping my kids become good, upstanding adults but do completely disagree with the methods that the AG / court system treat Father's in divorce / child support cases. Mom can do anything she wants to do (including blatantly violating all facets of the divorce decree) and the state doesn't care one bit about the Father's rights that are being violated......but, keep on paying that money to Momma cause that is all that matters.

[forbes]

As someone with 2 stepkids ( i never had any) I can tell you its crazy what it costs to raise a child. There dad doesnt pay a dime. It was definatly an eye opener for me.

[Treasure Chest]

Let's not forget cost of healthcare... I think $2k a month is close to accurate, let's look at it like this - if you're paying child support you obviously don't have joint custody and can get by in a 1bd apartment, whereas the supporting parent has to at least maintain a 2bd + all associated expenses...

There are many other costs involved that you don't consider at face value.

Also, if you're a non-custodial parent carrying health insurance on your child, they will deduct the premium for the child from the amount paid.

[Roscoe]

You got the math wrong. If you expect to pay $1K a month then in theory it costs $2K a month to care for the kid. I'd say over $1K a month is right for a lot of cases, my boy included. But $2K a month all in cost would be ridiculous.

Let's not forget cost of healthcare... I think $2k a month is close to accurate, let's look at it like this - if you're paying child support you obviously don't have joint custody and can get by in a 1bd apartment, whereas the supporting parent has to at least maintain a 2bd + all associated expenses...

There are many other costs involved that you don't consider at face value.

[Smurfette]

I have a wonderful pedi who supported exclusive breastfeeding to 6 mo and supported me in going a year plus. She's also the one who told me to talk to my Dr about raynaud's. Many I've seen are quick to say, You tried. It's not for everyone. Here, start supplementing with this formula."

^^This..I breastfed both of my kids for 14 months and donated my excess milk to help preemies in the NICU. Neither one of my kids has ever had an ear infection or any type of allergies. Not to mention how much easier it is to feed in the middle of the night versus heating up a bottle.