Parenting Rant

[Chili]

I just talked to my wife. I wasn't there when she dropped our daughter off and I hadn't asked her about discussing the plans for the evening with the mom. It was cake, 'birthday stuff' and games. There was zero mention of movie time or anything else outside of "a typical sleepover".

The reality of the evening is they did cake and the girls were all sent upstairs to the game / movie room. The girl who lives there is allowed to watch those movies (we know that now, we didn't then) and she turned them on. The mom has zero problem with her kids watching that stuff so she just let them all stay upstairs and watch movies for the evening.

And yes, she's 9 and has (had) no idea what curse words are. My 8 YO son knows because I've heard him call out people when they cuss and my two older daughters both wondered what he was making a fuss about. They know bad words exist but they don't know what they are.

Oof.. Five or Six kids, 8-10 year olds, essentially unsupervised? You're lucky if that's the worst thing that happened.

Definitely see your point about not anticipating such a thing, as I know I probably wouldn't. With a group that age I would have expected organized games and activities, and maybe watching a couple kids movies in PJ's to wrap up the night..

[TX_92_Notch]

I have a hard time finding blame with the OP. I mean, should you have asked what activities were planned for the evening? Sure. But, I think any reasonable parent should be able to reasonably expect that another reasonable parent would never show graphically sexual or gory movies to kids that young.

If the other parent had let the kids stay up until 3 AM eating handfuls of candy and watching a PG-13 flick, you'd have to chalk that up to something that even little kids end up doing at sleepovers. You could still be upset, but mostly blame yourself for not asking more questions.

However, this is some grossly overboard shit we're talking about. I haven't seen the movie, but from what is described above, WTF?!?!? The line was crossed, laughed at, and shat upon. What that lady did is completely unreasonable, and no parent should have even had to imagine that something like that would ever happen at a sleepover for kids that young. There's no way in a million years that I wouldn't confront that stupid bitch and give her an earful.

Exactly this. I guess we should've also asked when the hookers and blow were going to show up for the girls or which porn channel the parents were going to turn on. You like to think that you don't have to list the ten million things that a group of 8-10 YO girls shouldn't do at a sleepover.

My wife and I have agreed that the friendship with them is pretty much grinding to a halt, other than maybe a daytime playdate at OUR HOUSE.

[Chili]

We're pretty much on the same page here, except there was discussion about the evening per my last post.

We've hosted countless sleepovers at our house. The kids play games, jump on the trampoline, play with the chickens and goats and Great Pyrenees puppies, and so on. On the rare occasions when they've watched a show, it's one or two episodes of somethin like Sophia the First or Dyno Trucks and then the TV is off and go play - do kid stuff, not sit around and watch rated-R horror films unsupervised.

Yeah.. I started responding after Jluv's first reply, before seeing your later replies. It sucks, but almost makes you have to take the stance, as a parent, to not allow sleepovers. There are just too many shitty parents out there, and just like with Social Media, you really never know how these people are behind closed doors, out of the public eye. It almost feels like the instance of lying sociopaths among us is continually increasing.

[TX_92_Notch]

Yeah.. I started responding after Jluv's first reply, before seeing your later replies. It sucks, but almost makes you have to take the stance, as a parent, to not allow sleepovers. There are just too many shitty parents out there, and just like with Social Media, you really never know how these people are behind closed doors, out of the public eye. It almost feels like the instance of lying sociopaths among us is continually increasing.

I didn't specifically know (I assumed because I know my wife) when I started the thread that my wife had discussed the plans for the evening when she dropped them off or I would've mentioned that sooner and saved everyone the trouble.

Your post is precisely the reason we've hosted dozens of sleepovers yet our daughter just attended her first one outside of our house at 9 years old. We let her go because we felt we could trust the person; boy did we get proved wrong.

[lincolnboy]

Going to church doesnt show who you are. Shows what you do has anyone not seen the movie MA?

[Baron Von Crowder]

well I feel better about my daughter binge watching Gordon Ramsey.

[Ruffdaddy]

Man that's a crappy situation...sorry to hear.

Did she ever try to call yall or anything?

[TX_92_Notch]

Parenting Rant

Man that's a crappy situation...sorry to hear.

Did she ever try to call yall or anything?

That’s the part that really sucks. She called my wife from one of the girls phones and we never heard it because my wife’s ringer was off. She NEVER turns her ringer off but it was off that night so we never heard the phone ringing until around 4:30 AM and my wife noticed the missed calls.

[blandnuts]

That sucks. Having kids and dealing with other parents is definitely bananas. I haven't had to deal with sleepovers yet, but group sports so far suck goat nuts.

[Craizie]

That sucks. Having kids and dealing with other parents is definitely bananas. I haven't had to deal with sleepovers yet, but group sports so far suck goat nuts.

Your kids already have a lot working against them with a dad like you.

[blandnuts]

Your kids already have a lot working against them with a dad like you.

1v1 me

[AnthonyS]

Sorry to read this story. Sadly the damage is done and there is no good way to go back or address it with the questionable parents. I would sit down with your daughter and ask her if there is anything she wants to talk about, and tell her you are sorry she was exposed to all that in one sitting. My daughter also watches Sofia, and I shudder to think how bad all that would've been, but she is about to turn 6. I'm definitely going to ask lots of questions for sleepovers now.

Some people..... and then they are parents? Sad.

[Ruffdaddy]

That’s the part that really sucks. She called my wife from one of the girls phones and we never heard it because my wife’s ringer was off. She NEVER turns her ringer off but it was off that night so we never heard the phone ringing until around 4:30 AM and my wife noticed the missed calls.

Damn that's heartbreaking. I'd be pretty pissed at the mom...no one in their right kind would think thats a good idea.

[TX_92_Notch]

Sorry to read this story. Sadly the damage is done and there is no good way to go back or address it with the questionable parents. I would sit down with your daughter and ask her if there is anything she wants to talk about, and tell her you are sorry she was exposed to all that in one sitting. My daughter also watches Sofia, and I shudder to think how bad all that would've been, but she is about to turn 6. I'm definitely going to ask lots of questions for sleepovers now.

Some people..... and then they are parents? Sad.

I do feel like we'll end up discussing it in detail with the mom at some point. She obviously has no clue that she did any damage to these little girls. I'm guessing we aren't the only parents dealing with the ramifications of those movies being shown at the slumber party.

My wife has been talking to our 9 YO regularly since she came home early Sunday morning. She's still following us around like a puppy dog - I was singing songs to my 2YO boy a bedtime tonight and my 9 YO was in the room with me, literally hovering over us and holding my hand. She's still afraid to be in a room by herself. She's sleeping next to my wife on the couch again tonight. We should be able get her back in her bedroom shared with her 4 YO sister within a few days, or we'll set up pallets in one room and let 3-4 of the kids (I have 5 kids) all do a sleepover for a few nights so she's surrounded by her brothers and sisters.

Hopefully my posting this will alert some of you guys that have young kids. I think several of us go into stuff like this assuming people would show our kids the same understanding or grace or whatever as we do and that's obviously not the case.

[CexMashean]

Watched Child's Play when I was 5.

Fight me.