OH LORD, this might get real

[jluv]

Negative... unless one of you is a stay at home parent (and doesn't kill yourself for it), you've got to pay for day care. For each kid under 5 years old you're looking at a minimum of $200/week for semi-decent day care. That will last till about 8-9 years old at minimum for most people in the summer anyways when the kids are out of school.

Wife and I are discussing options starting next year of letting kids stay home while we work, but the oldest will only be 10 with our youngest at 7 here with him. If I can work from home 3 days a week then that will significantly reduce our costs, but diapers and formula in the long run are nothing compared to either losing one of the income sources or paying for day care. You'll have to analyze your own financial situation to determine if it's worth it, or if mentally it doesn't matter what it costs to be around adults all day instead of kids.

We both work from home now (for the same company), but they won't let her keep doing so after we have the kid, unless we put the kid in daycare or have a nanny here at the house. They don't want her being distracted, so that's one of the conditions for her being allowed to work remote. They don't give a shit about what I do, as long as I'm producing at a high level, but in order to do that, I don't need the distraction, either. She'll probably quit for at least a couple of years, or maybe work on a part-time/contract basis. Losing her income will sting a little, but we'll manage. I pay all the bills as it is. We want to avoid daycare if we can, although the one (yes, there's only one within an hour of our house) we have here in town is supposed to be pretty badass. Anything could happen, I guess. We've talked a good bit about that kind of thing, but I don't want to get too far ahead of myself or pretend like I've got it all figured out.

[bird_dog0347]

We both work from home now (for the same company), but they won't let her keep doing so after we have the kid, unless we put the kid in daycare or have a nanny here at the house. They don't want her being distracted, so that's one of the conditions for her being allowed to work remote. They don't give a shit about what I do, as long as I'm producing at a high level, but in order to do that, I don't need the distraction, either. She'll probably quit for at least a couple of years, or maybe work on a part-time/contract basis. Losing her income will sting a little, but we'll manage. I pay all the bills as it is. We want to avoid daycare if we can, although the one (yes, there's only one within an hour of our house) we have here in town is supposed to be pretty badass. Anything could happen, I guess. We've talked a good bit about that kind of thing, but I don't want to get too far ahead of myself or pretend like I've got it all figured out.

I'll go back to my first post in this thread... GET FIXED. I've got a great doc recommendation if you need it.

I love the hell outta both my boys. You couldn't pay me enough to take them, but you damn sure can't pay me enough to have another... ever.

[Gasser64]

How about you just adopt one that is already potty trained. No baby stage, no potty training. Win/win/lose.

[Nate]

Night 1 with the newborn home last night...I have nothing more to add to the discussion other than life changes (after 2 weeks with wife in hospital then 2 weeks with preemie in NICU)...life got flipped over real quick.

[SS Junk]

Negative... unless one of you is a stay at home parent (and doesn't kill yourself for it), you've got to pay for day care..

Forgot that little detail. Wife worked from home. Jurassic erase to my previous comment.

[jluv]

I'll go back to my first post in this thread... GET FIXED. I've got a great doc recommendation if you need it.

Did you miss the part where I said I am planning to have a kid? Getting snipped would certainly pose a challenge to that.

[bird_dog0347]

Did you miss the part where I said I am planning to have a kid? Getting snipped would certainly pose a challenge to that.

Nope, didn't miss that... Just figured I'd give you good advice anyways.

[chuckacosta]

38 years old here and my first born just turned 2 yesterday. Oh and my wife just gave birth to our daughter back on 9/16. Plus my wife has an 11 year old boy. To say that life has changed for me significantly in the last 3 years is definitely an understatement. Nonetheless, I love where I'm at with my life. Thankfully I was able to get degree shortly after my son was born. Now I am working on getting my teaching degree and I'll be set. Things get tough financially at times but thankfully we always seem to manage.

[KBScobravert]

Negative... unless one of you is a stay at home parent (and doesn't kill yourself for it), you've got to pay for day care. For each kid under 5 years old you're looking at a minimum of $200/week for semi-decent day care. That will last till about 8-9 years old at minimum for most people in the summer anyways when the kids are out of school.

My wife and I lucked out, massively. My mother-in-law retired to stay at home for our daughter who turned 5 yesterday. She retired a week before my wife went back to work after maternity leave. We have had to use an in house daycare in our neighborhood on occasion (<5) on those days that her mom has something she can't tote the tot too. But overall it has been fantastic for her mom and for our daughter. I owe her a lot and always try to do nice things for her when I am home to repay her. Besides the monetary benefits, we know that our daughter is being taken care of.

We've thought about another ourselves. But I am 41 and the wife is 37. I think we are done. Besides, the TRT I'm on pretty much shuts it down anyways.

[Big A]

I'll be 60 when Christopher turns 20, and will still be able to whip his ass if need be.

My only regret is having waiting so long, but in some respects I'm very glad that I did, as I feel I'm a much more capable parent today, mentally, emotionally, and financially than ever before.

[racrguy]

My ex wife, my current wife, my my daughter, one of my sisters, my brother, and myself are all products of some form of adoption. If we have a kid we have a kid. It's just not a thing I'm wanting at this point in my life. BUT that said, don't do the dead if you can't do the rest.

anyway she took a test tonight, and she passed. We at this moment still only have the one kid. But if we made another we will we will own the responsibility of another.

No. Fuck that. Children are not punishment for having sex, they're people. As such, they should be brought into the world after lots of thought and planning, not just a "whelp, we had sex and now you're knocked up. I'm stuck with it now." It's a 250,000 expense, and far too many people take the decision too lightly. Frankly, I'd rather be driving the Ferrari instead of raising it... More power to those of you with kids, that shit just ain't for me. I see no long term upside to having kids of my own.

It appalls me that people continually state that you shouldn't have sex if you don't want to be a parent. Children aren't punishment, and aren't always the result of having sex. The wonders of modern medicine have afforded us the opportunities to prevent, or in case of that failing, several methods of terminating an unwanted pregnancy.

[YALE]

Hold up. How is his biological daughter a product of adoption?

[AnthonyS]

Night 1 with the newborn home last night...I have nothing more to add to the discussion other than life changes (after 2 weeks with wife in hospital then 2 weeks with preemie in NICU)...life got flipped over real quick.

Congratulations on getting the family home. Life changes, and you will adapt just fine.

The best advice I can give is never do the baby talk gag. Your kids will be much smarter and much better if you just talk to them like any other person. Just tell them what mommy and daddy are doing even when they can't speak yet, and they will understand.

[SS Junk]

The benefits of having kids is starting to finally pay off. Now that I have one who is licensed he can do all the petty bullshit errands. He likes driving, I like staying at the house. Win win.

[IHaveAMustang]

Im looking forward to my son (who is now 3) going paintballing with me, scuba diving with me, helping me work on my Mustang, doing 3-gun matches, teaching him how to give lessons in our church.

Sure, they are expensive and at times frustrating to raise. Today alone he had to be spanked twice within a few hours, but that straightened him out.

I have a second in the oven now. Wife wants a girl, I like the idea of a second son so I don't have to worry about going to prison from murdering a deadbeat boyfriend.