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ok, I've kinda hinted at it to a few
but what I've really been doing for the past couple years is becoming a songwriter...
I didn't really know it when I first quit drinking and decided to start living.
about 6 months later, I wrote my first good song. I'd played around and written a few over the years, but nothing that good. I've always been a writer, I've always been into music, my family is musical, I fell in love with and married a singer who got her masters in vocal performance and is now a music teacher LOL
but yeah, I wrote that first song, and after I wrote it, I could feel it... This was my calling.
I was standing out behind my house standing there looking to the sky bawling my eyes out.
I don't know how to explain it, but it was sort of like I, at the same time, acknowledged that "this is what I am" and also begged the universe "please, let me do this for the rest of my life"
That's when I went loopy last spring on everyone! LOL There really is a pretty amazing story entwined with this whole metamorphosis. Just not quite ready to tell it yet.
so I kinda went off the deep end because, in my typical fashion, I wanted all of everything right now. and grass grows at its own pace. granted, it goes FAST down here on the gulf, but still. the point is the same. I wanted it so bad, I tried to get there as fast as possible, and you can't force grass to grow by smothering it...
2015 was the worst year of my life. but I did maybe 5-10 songs out of it. good ones. the kind that hurt to write.
then kinda nothing. well... I mean... we bought a house and had a baby, but you know... kinda nothing on the songwriting thing LOL
found out we were pregnant, and just prayed that I could get my mind and heart right before she got here.
Well, she's been here for 3.5 months, but I got it... so only about a year later.
The story is beautiful and amazing, and I finally got my song out of it. Best song I've ever written. Maybe the best I'll ever write. Which I'm perfectly fine with. I never wanted to be famous. I only ever wanted to write one instant classic that would have my name on it for ever. Well, this one is my best shot thus far. It's got 39yrs of heartache woven into it, and as the world's biggest critic. I think it's actually got legs. I'm not talking #1 chart topper. I'm talking "damn... that's a fucking good song... who wrote that?" That's all I've ever wanted that I don't have in this life and that can't be bought with all the money in the world.
So... after I finally get through my personal hell and get my song, I write about twenty more in three days. Nothing as good as that, but there are a few that have potential to actually be something decent. The flood gates bust open on me! I filled most of a three subject notebook with songs in a month.
I wrote a beast mode song before I went to Colorado. Then a month later, I write the ONE...
I was sitting here singing through all my good ones and realized that I have a couple albums' worth. So... I'm not sure which way to go from here. I'm feeling/shopping the song, but I have a funny feeling I'm going to be in a studio AT LEAST to cut a songwriter's demo album. I pray that I'll get to cut some "real" music before 2018. And by that, I mean, I'm just trying to find someone to sing this song ASAP. I can sing it, but I'm not a "performer". I don't care who is doing the singing, but I want to get this song in the studio ASAP... if I'm LUCKY I've already burned half my life. No time to kill
But... despite my wishes against, I may actually have to sing one of these things in front of someone other than my wife one day, so I guess I'm guitar shopping. Gotta have something to hold on to for dear life on stage, right?
but what I've really been doing for the past couple years is becoming a songwriter...
I didn't really know it when I first quit drinking and decided to start living.
about 6 months later, I wrote my first good song. I'd played around and written a few over the years, but nothing that good. I've always been a writer, I've always been into music, my family is musical, I fell in love with and married a singer who got her masters in vocal performance and is now a music teacher LOL
but yeah, I wrote that first song, and after I wrote it, I could feel it... This was my calling.
I was standing out behind my house standing there looking to the sky bawling my eyes out.
I don't know how to explain it, but it was sort of like I, at the same time, acknowledged that "this is what I am" and also begged the universe "please, let me do this for the rest of my life"
That's when I went loopy last spring on everyone! LOL There really is a pretty amazing story entwined with this whole metamorphosis. Just not quite ready to tell it yet.
so I kinda went off the deep end because, in my typical fashion, I wanted all of everything right now. and grass grows at its own pace. granted, it goes FAST down here on the gulf, but still. the point is the same. I wanted it so bad, I tried to get there as fast as possible, and you can't force grass to grow by smothering it...
2015 was the worst year of my life. but I did maybe 5-10 songs out of it. good ones. the kind that hurt to write.
then kinda nothing. well... I mean... we bought a house and had a baby, but you know... kinda nothing on the songwriting thing LOL
found out we were pregnant, and just prayed that I could get my mind and heart right before she got here.
Well, she's been here for 3.5 months, but I got it... so only about a year later.
The story is beautiful and amazing, and I finally got my song out of it. Best song I've ever written. Maybe the best I'll ever write. Which I'm perfectly fine with. I never wanted to be famous. I only ever wanted to write one instant classic that would have my name on it for ever. Well, this one is my best shot thus far. It's got 39yrs of heartache woven into it, and as the world's biggest critic. I think it's actually got legs. I'm not talking #1 chart topper. I'm talking "damn... that's a fucking good song... who wrote that?" That's all I've ever wanted that I don't have in this life and that can't be bought with all the money in the world.
So... after I finally get through my personal hell and get my song, I write about twenty more in three days. Nothing as good as that, but there are a few that have potential to actually be something decent. The flood gates bust open on me! I filled most of a three subject notebook with songs in a month.
I wrote a beast mode song before I went to Colorado. Then a month later, I write the ONE...
I was sitting here singing through all my good ones and realized that I have a couple albums' worth. So... I'm not sure which way to go from here. I'm feeling/shopping the song, but I have a funny feeling I'm going to be in a studio AT LEAST to cut a songwriter's demo album. I pray that I'll get to cut some "real" music before 2018. And by that, I mean, I'm just trying to find someone to sing this song ASAP. I can sing it, but I'm not a "performer". I don't care who is doing the singing, but I want to get this song in the studio ASAP... if I'm LUCKY I've already burned half my life. No time to kill
But... despite my wishes against, I may actually have to sing one of these things in front of someone other than my wife one day, so I guess I'm guitar shopping. Gotta have something to hold on to for dear life on stage, right?
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