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And then .. SVO said

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  • #61
    Originally posted by svo855 View Post
    I understand hyperbole but what you just said either makes no sense or it went completely over my head.
    Bugs Bunny vs. the Gashouse Gorillas 1946. I figured since you created Looney Tunes that you would remember Bugs playing baseball.

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    • #62
      The Big Bang was simply the result of SVO punching a black hole in a parallel universe.

      The energy released was forcibly transmitted through a wormhole which then expanded from a very high density and high temperature state.

      A small portion of SVO's DNA was transformed into energy during the first few milliseconds of the event, spreading the basis of all energy, matter and approximately 13 billion years later.... life.

      Some religions believe that SVO is a natural, cyclical part of space-time and that all new universes will spawn life, and eventually, when ready, evolve it's own SVO.

      It is theorized that the arrival\creation of SVO in our own universe will trigger universal contraction onto SVO himself, eventually creating a massive black hole, of which SVO will then punch, thus creating a new universe and renewing the cycle.
      Last edited by Gargamel; 04-15-2016, 10:34 AM.

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      • #63
        In the beginning SVO created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of SVO was hovering over the waters.

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        • #64
          Originally posted by Gargamel View Post
          The Big Bang was simply the result of SVO punching a black hole in a parallel universe.

          The energy released was forcibly transmitted through a wormhole which then expanded from a very high density and high temperature state.

          A small portion of SVO's DNA was transformed into energy during the first few milliseconds of the event, spreading the basis of all energy, matter and approximately 13 billion years later.... life.

          Some religions believe that SVO is a natural, cyclical part of space-time and that all new universes will spawn life, and eventually, when ready, evolve it's own SVO.

          It is theorized that the arrival\creation of SVO in our own universe will trigger universal contraction onto SVO himself, eventually creating a massive black hole, of which SVO will then punch, thus creating a new universe and renewing the cycle.
          Winner!



          David

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          • #65
            He gave his father "the talk"
            His passport requires no photograph
            When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value
            Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died
            His 5 de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March
            His feet don't get blisters, but his shoes do
            He once went to the psychic, to warn her
            If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him
            Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks he'll still be on the right side
            He can speak Russian… in French
            He never says something tastes like chicken.. not even chicken
            Superman has pajamas with his logo
            His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries
            The circus ran away to join him
            Bear hugs are what he gives bears
            He once brought a knife to a gunfight… just to even the odds
            When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring
            His friends call him by his name, his enemies don't call him anything because they are all dead
            He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool
            If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn't be dark
            He once won a staring contest with his own reflection
            He can kill two stones with one bird
            His signature won a Pulitzer
            When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it
            He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket
            The dark is afraid of him
            Sharks have a week dedicated to him
            His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
            No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard
            He once made a weeping willow laugh
            He lives vicariously through himself
            His business card simply says 'I'll Call You"
            He once taught a german shepherd how to bark in spanish
            He bowls overhand
            In museums, he is allowed to touch the art
            He is allowed to talk about the fight club
            He once won a fist fight, only using his beard
            He once won the Tour-de-France, but was disqualified for riding a unicycle
            A bird in his hand is worth three in the bush
            His lovemaking has been detected by a seismograph
            The Holy Grail is looking for him
            Roses stop to smell him
            He once started a fire using only dental floss and water
            His sweat is the cure for the common cold
            Bigfoot tries to get pictures of him
            Werewolves are jealous of his beard
            He once turned a vampire into a vegetarian
            He once won the world series of poker using UNO cards
            He never wears a watch because time is always on his side
            He has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks
            He has won the lifetime achievement award… twice
            If opportunity knocks, and he's not at home, opportunity waits
            Batman watches Saturday morning cartoons about him
            When he was young he once sent his parents to his room
            He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels
            His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body
            His blood smells like cologne
            On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
            His hands feel like rich brown suede
            Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect
            He is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks
            Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut
            Panhandlers give him money
            When he goes to Spain, he chases the bulls
            His shadow has been on the 'best dressed' list twice
            When he holds a lady's purse, he looks manly
            Two countries went to war to dispute HIS nationality
            When in Rome, they do as HE does
            His pillow is cool on BOTH sides
            The Nobel Academy was awarded a prize from HIM
            While swimming off the coast of Australia, he once scratched the underbelly of the Great White with his right hand
            He taught Chuck Norris martial arts
            Time waits on no one, but him
            Once he ran a marathon because it was "on the way"
            His mother has a tattoo that says "Son"
            The star on his Christmas tree is tracked by NASA
            Presidents take his birthday off
            His shirts never wrinkle
            He has never walked into a spider web
            He is left-handed. And right-handed
            His shirts never wrinkle
            The police often question him, just because they find him interesting
            His organ donation card also lists his beard
            He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders
            His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him
            Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores
            Even his tree houses have fully finished basements
            His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the bermuda triangle
            If he were to say something costs an arm and a leg, it would
            He’s never lost a game of chance
            He is the life of parties that he has never attended
            He was on a recent archaeological dig and came across prehistoric foot prints that lead out of Africa into all parts of the world. On close inspection, it turned out that the prints were his
            He once caught the Loch Ness Monster….with a cane pole, but threw it back
            His wallet is woven out of chupacabra leather
            He played a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded magnum, and won
            Freemasons strive to learn HIS secret handshake
            If he was to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume
            He is considered a national treasure in countries he’s never visited
            Cars look both ways for him, before driving down a street
            He once tried to acquire a cold just to see what it felt like, but it didn’t take
            He has inside jokes with people he’s never met.
            "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

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            • #66
              ^^^

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              • #67
                Svo caused the beltre
                Originally posted by svo855
                Star Wars was never bullshit. There is a 747 that gets parked at various bases that uses a particle beam to shoot down incoming war heads. Every time it gets dragged out for a test it works so well that it shocks everyone involved. So far it has shot down 10 inbound warheads simultaneously and it could do more if it had more targets presented to it. No one will say what its kill range is but I know a witness that observed a kill nearly 160 miles away from the plane.

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                • #68
                  Whether you believe him or not, the guy has some entertaining anecdotes! Instead of getting irritated or pissed, just sit back and enjoy them..

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Chili View Post
                    Whether you believe him or not, the guy has some entertaining anecdotes! Instead of getting irritated or pissed, just sit back and enjoy them..
                    Kinda like rape?
                    "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

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                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Chili View Post
                      Whether you believe him or not, the guy has some entertaining anecdotes! Instead of getting irritated or pissed, just sit back and enjoy them..
                      It's not irritating me. I enjoy his posts.

                      We should all pay homage to the 5th member of Led Zeppelin.

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                      • #71
                        Originally posted by Baron Von Crowder View Post
                        Kinda like rape?
                        It'll sure make it go way smoother!

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                        • #72
                          SVO was BJJKumodragonSteve#1armbar's instructor and would have powered out of it effortlessly.

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by mstng86 View Post
                            It's not irritating me. I enjoy his posts.

                            We should all pay homage to the 5th member of Led Zeppelin.
                            Should have quoted, that wasn't directed at you, it was more for that other 4king guy..

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by Chili View Post
                              Whether you believe him or not, the guy has some entertaining anecdotes! Instead of getting irritated or pissed, just sit back and enjoy them..
                              He's always good for a laugh during a long hard day...
                              Originally posted by Silverback
                              Look all you want, she can't find anyone else who treats her as bad as I do, and I keep her self esteem so low, she wouldn't think twice about going anywhere else.

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                              • #75
                                Originally posted by Chili View Post
                                Whether you believe him or not, the guy has some entertaining anecdotes! Instead of getting irritated or pissed, just sit back and enjoy them..
                                Originally posted by Rick Modena View Post
                                He's always good for a laugh during a long hard day...
                                The tags are the best part in every thread now thanks to SVO

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