Originally posted by svo855
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And then .. SVO said
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The Big Bang was simply the result of SVO punching a black hole in a parallel universe.
The energy released was forcibly transmitted through a wormhole which then expanded from a very high density and high temperature state.
A small portion of SVO's DNA was transformed into energy during the first few milliseconds of the event, spreading the basis of all energy, matter and approximately 13 billion years later.... life.
Some religions believe that SVO is a natural, cyclical part of space-time and that all new universes will spawn life, and eventually, when ready, evolve it's own SVO.
It is theorized that the arrival\creation of SVO in our own universe will trigger universal contraction onto SVO himself, eventually creating a massive black hole, of which SVO will then punch, thus creating a new universe and renewing the cycle.Last edited by Gargamel; 04-15-2016, 10:34 AM.
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Originally posted by Gargamel View PostThe Big Bang was simply the result of SVO punching a black hole in a parallel universe.
The energy released was forcibly transmitted through a wormhole which then expanded from a very high density and high temperature state.
A small portion of SVO's DNA was transformed into energy during the first few milliseconds of the event, spreading the basis of all energy, matter and approximately 13 billion years later.... life.
Some religions believe that SVO is a natural, cyclical part of space-time and that all new universes will spawn life, and eventually, when ready, evolve it's own SVO.
It is theorized that the arrival\creation of SVO in our own universe will trigger universal contraction onto SVO himself, eventually creating a massive black hole, of which SVO will then punch, thus creating a new universe and renewing the cycle.
David
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He gave his father "the talk"
His passport requires no photograph
When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value
Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died
His 5 de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March
His feet don't get blisters, but his shoes do
He once went to the psychic, to warn her
If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him
Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks he'll still be on the right side
He can speak Russian… in French
He never says something tastes like chicken.. not even chicken
Superman has pajamas with his logo
His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries
The circus ran away to join him
Bear hugs are what he gives bears
He once brought a knife to a gunfight… just to even the odds
When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring
His friends call him by his name, his enemies don't call him anything because they are all dead
He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool
If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn't be dark
He once won a staring contest with his own reflection
He can kill two stones with one bird
His signature won a Pulitzer
When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it
He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket
The dark is afraid of him
Sharks have a week dedicated to him
His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard
He once made a weeping willow laugh
He lives vicariously through himself
His business card simply says 'I'll Call You"
He once taught a german shepherd how to bark in spanish
He bowls overhand
In museums, he is allowed to touch the art
He is allowed to talk about the fight club
He once won a fist fight, only using his beard
He once won the Tour-de-France, but was disqualified for riding a unicycle
A bird in his hand is worth three in the bush
His lovemaking has been detected by a seismograph
The Holy Grail is looking for him
Roses stop to smell him
He once started a fire using only dental floss and water
His sweat is the cure for the common cold
Bigfoot tries to get pictures of him
Werewolves are jealous of his beard
He once turned a vampire into a vegetarian
He once won the world series of poker using UNO cards
He never wears a watch because time is always on his side
He has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks
He has won the lifetime achievement award… twice
If opportunity knocks, and he's not at home, opportunity waits
Batman watches Saturday morning cartoons about him
When he was young he once sent his parents to his room
He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels
His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body
His blood smells like cologne
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
His hands feel like rich brown suede
Mosquitoes refuse to bite him purely out of respect
He is fluent in all languages, including three that he only speaks
Once while sailing around the world, he discovered a short cut
Panhandlers give him money
When he goes to Spain, he chases the bulls
His shadow has been on the 'best dressed' list twice
When he holds a lady's purse, he looks manly
Two countries went to war to dispute HIS nationality
When in Rome, they do as HE does
His pillow is cool on BOTH sides
The Nobel Academy was awarded a prize from HIM
While swimming off the coast of Australia, he once scratched the underbelly of the Great White with his right hand
He taught Chuck Norris martial arts
Time waits on no one, but him
Once he ran a marathon because it was "on the way"
His mother has a tattoo that says "Son"
The star on his Christmas tree is tracked by NASA
Presidents take his birthday off
His shirts never wrinkle
He has never walked into a spider web
He is left-handed. And right-handed
His shirts never wrinkle
The police often question him, just because they find him interesting
His organ donation card also lists his beard
He doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders
His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him
Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores
Even his tree houses have fully finished basements
His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the bermuda triangle
If he were to say something costs an arm and a leg, it would
He’s never lost a game of chance
He is the life of parties that he has never attended
He was on a recent archaeological dig and came across prehistoric foot prints that lead out of Africa into all parts of the world. On close inspection, it turned out that the prints were his
He once caught the Loch Ness Monster….with a cane pole, but threw it back
His wallet is woven out of chupacabra leather
He played a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded magnum, and won
Freemasons strive to learn HIS secret handshake
If he was to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume
He is considered a national treasure in countries he’s never visited
Cars look both ways for him, before driving down a street
He once tried to acquire a cold just to see what it felt like, but it didn’t take
He has inside jokes with people he’s never met."If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford
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Svo caused the beltre
Originally posted by svo855Star Wars was never bullshit. There is a 747 that gets parked at various bases that uses a particle beam to shoot down incoming war heads. Every time it gets dragged out for a test it works so well that it shocks everyone involved. So far it has shot down 10 inbound warheads simultaneously and it could do more if it had more targets presented to it. No one will say what its kill range is but I know a witness that observed a kill nearly 160 miles away from the plane.
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Originally posted by Chili View PostWhether you believe him or not, the guy has some entertaining anecdotes! Instead of getting irritated or pissed, just sit back and enjoy them..Originally posted by SilverbackLook all you want, she can't find anyone else who treats her as bad as I do, and I keep her self esteem so low, she wouldn't think twice about going anywhere else.
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Originally posted by Chili View PostWhether you believe him or not, the guy has some entertaining anecdotes! Instead of getting irritated or pissed, just sit back and enjoy them..Originally posted by Rick Modena View PostHe's always good for a laugh during a long hard day...
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