Worst Boss you have ever had

[helosailor]

My current boss is cooler than the underside of a pillow.

I did have this one boss once, kind of a jerk, but he cigar-banged an intern in his office...so that's kinda cool.

[Ruffdaddy]

My current boss is cooler than the underside of a pillow.

I did have this one boss once, kind of a jerk, but he cigar-banged an intern in his office...so that's kinda cool.

Like literally cigar banged?

[cool cat]

Like literally cigar banged?

I know of his boss, some called him Slick Willie.

[Sean88gt]

I've had 2, equally dick-headish, and my cause for MBA hatred.

First one was when I was working at my first corporate gig. The company had started to become self-aware in respects to its shareholders. As a result, the company began this initiative to bring in MBA's to tighten the reins. The problem being, that the company was extremely customer facing. They had seen explosive growth as a result of customer service and that began to change when the company tried to extract every bit of profit out of the process. Without the benefit of six sigma, they would try to rule through spreadsheet - which created unrealistic goals, or markers, or success points. Instead of getting tools to be successful, we would have to reach certain goals before we were given what we needed to hit those numbers in the first place. Similar to having a baseball team and being told to have a winning record with 5 players, and once you do that, then they'd give you the the other 4 players.

The boss was just a cunt. He would call around after 5:30pm (closing time) to see who was "really working". The problem was, people began to forward phones to their cell to avoid it. As such, he would just surprise arrive at a location and end up keeping you until 7:30-8pm, just to fuck with you. He'd do this several times a month. Everything he did seemed to destroy motivation and work product. When we would go out to customers their biggest complaint would be him and the failure to give us the tools needed to support our efforts. He would flex his MBA at will, but had zero business acumen or general common sense. As a result, he took a decent job that was fun and forced everyone that had potential out.

Next was when I was in Denver. Again, an inexperienced fuckwad with a decent amount of education. He came from a wealthy family, got a job from his dad, and was immediately placed in a VP position. He was singularly the most hated individual I've ever met. No one liked him, but everyone kissed his ass. Again, every decision he based was off of his spreadsheets and MBA materials. The MBA in and of itself is fine, and I understand there are different areas of practice (See Jody), but in this environment, it was an unmitigated disaster.

This cocksucker had no bedside manner at all. He comes down to my office one day, and has what amounts to a "players only meeting" with my staff, outside the presence of management...which he was. Anyway, he goes on to tell my employees that they are all liabilities. He was talking in regards to a balance sheet, and the fact that service techs could bill out their labor. I got it. Hourly employees didn't. We had several leave because of that.

He also gave unrealistic deadlines based on his "calculations". If he felt that an engine rebuild that had a book time of 12 hours could be done in 8, he would require that level so the company would boost profit. With never having turned a wrench. He pissed off customers at will, with no concept that no customers = no business. As a result, one of our largest customers was told he was too busy to attend a meeting. The customer, livid, drove to our location and saw the VP of Ops outside instructing hourly employees how to properly spread ice-melt, so as it wouldn't be wasted. As a result, the business lost a multi-million dollar customer.

He also led a project that resulted in a changes to the bathroom. The 2 changes being 7 minute light timers so employees wouldn't take so long in the bathroom and single ply toilet paper, because company-wide it saved roughly $500/year. Per fucking year.

That project involved a group of 12 individuals in the planning dept., all in the area north of $120k a year. It ended up failing because customers were fucking furious that the light kept getting shut off after 7 minutes, and wouldn't turn on until the door opened, and that they were punching through the thinnest and roughest single ply I've ever polished my asshole with.

He, like the other cocksucker, would passive-aggressively arrive, call, etc to see who was serious, who was working hard, etc.

Oh yeah, he also implemented the deal where customers calls were recorded, as a result he wrote scripts for my sales personnel. They 1. hated them, 2. found them to be very ineffective because 99% of the customers were the same and didn't like to be hard-sold, and 3. got tired of getting bitched at by the customers for running a script instead of "getting them their god-damned injectors". I mentioned that it was a terrible idea, one that was causing issues, and I got a 45 min bitch out for not seeing the big picture or understanding how business works.

Other than that, I've been my own boss, and I recognize what and asshole that guy is.

[helosailor]

Like literally cigar banged?

Yes.

I know of his boss, some called him Slick Willie.

Thank you.

[Silverback]

tshirtjerks.com

we would have paid you, if you had actually worked!

[John -- '02 HAWK]

I worked 2nd shift and had an off site account manager fire me for leaving 10 mins early even though I worked OT the day before, worked through lunch that day, and worked OT the day after. That account was terminated within months of me being let go and the manager was let go because she lost too many accounts.

[BradM]

I just hope I don't end up on someone's worst boss list. I do my best to treat people fairly. By the way, fairly does not mean equally.

[Taylor]

My old boss "Lasereyes" from the cheese factory:

When I worked on a line once, we got a round of new bosses because they hired a bunch of college kids at once. I got a new boss that seemed ineffectual, but nothing I couldn't handle. One day I randomly got flashed in the eyes by a laser very briefly. We used laser scanners up and down the line, so I didn't think anything of it. I presumed it was accidental. Then it started increasing. When it switched colors to green, I realized it was a pointer and that it was intentional. That made me pretty annoyed, as it had been happening for weeks at that point, so I was kind of stewing as I went to take my break. I was contemplating how I was going to catch this person when I got full on zapped directly in my eye, and turned to find my boss, laughing and carrying an underling that was a real asshole. We took a trip to HR about it, and my boss was made to give me the weakest apology I've ever received. It sucked.

Kick his ass, seabass!

[jluv]

I just hope I don't end up on someone's worst boss list. I do my best to treat people fairly. By the way, fairly does not mean equally.

Damn straight. Where I work, top producers get special treatment. Don't get me wrong - we are all treated well, but I'm consistently #1, and they let me move to CO and work from home. They won't let newbs or even the average producers work from home full-time, even locally. If anyone bitches, the simple response would be "ask again when you are producing at that level".

I worked for another company doing this same thing for 8.5 years, and when I started out, it was pretty rad. As it grew, they started hiring more and more knuckleheads, and they had to start catering to the lowest common denominator and putting new rules and guidelines in place so the doofuses could do the job. Unfortunately, to justify that shit and avoid people bitching to HR, they had to enforce those rules across the board. The veterans and strong producers had large pipelines they had built, so they did things a certain way. Heck, everybody that was really successful had their own ways of doing shit that worked best for them. The company quickly turned all of us into robots and call center monkeys, not allowing any diversion from the "script". It handcuffed a lot of really good talent, and just made things more difficult than they should have been. Fuck that place. Where I work now, I love the money. I love the culture. But most of all, I love that they try to hire quality people (for the most part), give them the tools and support needed, but then let them do things their own way, as long as it works. We are growing fast, though, so I dread that it may change.

[32vfromhell]

One of my previous bosses was a fucking idiot and had an innopropriate relationship ongoing with one of his reports. Hot asian girl, who was good at her job, but knew how to play the game and she did it well to get perks and a career boost.

Of course the whole office knew, and one day i was working later than usual with only me and my boss in the office and went out to take a personal call outside the office in the atrium and walked back in to see and hear my boss on a video skype call that im sure his wife wouldnt want to see, with stupid pet names, flirting, and shit like that. He knew that i then knew, and decided to make my life hell. Year 1 i get a 5 figure raise, and year 2 he fucks me with some bullshit 5% and tears me up on my performance review. My managers above him were in the process of working through the review because they were ultimately confused by the ratings he was giving , but me and about 30 other people were laid off within the end of the month.

He would pull me off projects just so he could travel up to Chicago to visit United airlines with her, having a hotel room all paid for by the company, no less! Nice to have the company help pay for your extra-marital affairs i suppose.

The guy was VERY good at detail level analysis, which made him very good at his job, but a fucking terrible manager. I mean, he would mark up 200 page technical documents if a double space was used where a single space would need to be used, if the indent alignment on flowchart 45 didnt align with the indent alignment on flowchart 32, if the swimlanes were the wrong shade of blue, and stupid shit like that. After a team review of one of these documents, he started up with this kind of pedantic anal nitpicking and a VP speaks up "who cares? This is completely non-material stuff, no one will ever care about this"

To me, a good measure of a boss is how the employees under them grow and develop, and every single one of the people who have worked under him have never been promoted or advanced, and all have either quit or been laid off.

Oh and the girl who he was cheating on his wife with? She ended up
quitting because she realized the position we were in was a dead end position road blocked by all the glad-handing Sabre buddies who were busy promoting themselves as part of the Sabre club super team that piledrived the company from a 40 dollar/share company into a 40 cent/share company in only a few years. Sure was weird as shit when a grown man interrupts corporate meetings with tears in his eyes saying that she was quitting. That sure didn't help the whole "open secret" thing.

Her new job didnt work out, and she tried to come back with his help, but the company had leverage now that she was out of the company and kept her out as a bad fit and a lawsuit waiting to happen.

[32vfromhell]

Same company Story :

If you want to get an idea on how lazy executives can be, become good friends with their assistants who have total access to their calendars.

We had a guy who reached his peter principle in life, but somehow still kept getting promoted. We had our North American GM go from GM to EVP Sales Operations to COO within a period of about 15 months. The same 15 months our stock kept slipping lower, and lower, and lower yet the guys running the show were getting promoted.

One of his lowest points was when we had the CEO's son and the COO's son with us for about a month as part of an "internship". This internship sure looked a lot like babysitting, with our IT project managers being forced to stop their work so they can take them out to Museums and to the park, yet when it came to Steering Committees, the same fucking asshole COO would invite the "interns" in so he could grandstand the entire Steering Committee, flexing his "muscles" to his kids on how his dad could say a few words and give a few zinger phrases and run the show. What a fucking douchebag. God i hope his son saw through that kind of petty behavior.

[YALE]

Kick his ass, seabass!

Lol. I don't work there anymore. This was a 3 for 1 diversity hire that got fired for something unrelated and sued the company on the way out. It was a total shit show.

[GhostTX]

First "career" job out of college, doing internal tech support, had a lady that was full out feminist, men were scum and the glass ceiling was real 'cause "they" kept women down. One of the things was we'd take turns manning the phone during lunch. On one of my "watches", nature really, really called so I went to the restroom for maybe 5 minutes. I got a 30 minute ass chewing for not being at my desk. I wanted to get with the IT server group of folks and with tech support, frequently worked with them. When she found out I was going for an open position, she made it known to me that I was tech support in the company and that's all I'd ever do. I got a new job a month later elsewhere.

Only other was a department manager that would smile at you from the front and back stab as soon as you turned around. Fortunately, I reported to a middle manager, and not directly to the department manager. He was a real d*ck. Inept to say the least. Full out Dilbert-principle of promotions. I've left that company and he's still in the same position, but it's been weakened by promoting some of the other middle managers that has taken a lot of his power away.

[BoostedD1]

Bitches.