How do you tell your significant other.....

[Silverback]

Someone had to say it. Thanks for not letting me down, Matt.

Have you met half of these people?

[Wanderer]

Have you met half of these people?

As a matter of fact yes. I have met you as well.

[Ruffdaddy]

Yeah counseling may help...but leaving can as well.

When my brother died, my dad left my mom. He had always told me he would when i turned 18, but i thought surely they would help each other through (i was 18 when he left her btw). However, leaving her for awhile taught them both a lot, hopefully their lessons that stick.

Also, growing up they fought all the time, i know my dad was staying with her for us...but i would rather them have split. A kid growing up with non stop fighting is no good at all.

[BLAKE]

As a matter of fact yes. I have met you as well.

Well, that's a cheat. Everybody who's anybody has met The Big Matt.

[Silverback]

As a matter of fact yes. I have met you as well.

I just found out the name change, give me time, I haven't been on here much lately either

First thing you have to ask yourself, is how much of a priority is this to you, in comparison to the rest of your life. Are YOU willing to change in order to fix things? If you are open to change and open to listening to her expectations of you without holding it against her, then you're in a good place to at least start to fix the problem.

If you aren't, then you've kind of answered your own question, and now it's more about mitigating risk and avoiding complete meltdowns between the two of you, as you decide on the best way to proceed. Try to be as civil and willing to cooperate through it, if you can.

[Wanderer]

Yeah counseling may help...but leaving can as well.

When my brother died, my dad left my mom. He had always told me he would when i turned 18, but i thought surely they would help each other through (i was 18 when he left her btw). However, leaving her for awhile taught them both a lot, hopefully their lessons that stick.

Also, growing up they fought all the time, i know my dad was staying with her for us...but i would rather them have split. A kid growing up with non stop fighting is no good at all.

My dad stayed around for my brother and I to make sure we didn't turn out to be fuckups. My parents divorced after 29 years of marriage and I don't want to go that route and let my life pass me by and be miserable the rest of my life because I would always wonder what I should have or could have done.

Well, that's a cheat. Everybody who's anybody has met The Big Matt.

Well I don't feel as important now......Ha!

I just found out the name change, give me time, I haven't been on here much lately either

First thing you have to ask yourself, is how much of a priority is this to you, in comparison to the rest of your life. Are YOU willing to change in order to fix things? If you are open to change and open to listening to her expectations of you without holding it against her, then you're in a good place to at least start to fix the problem.

If you aren't, then you've kind of answered your own question, and now it's more about mitigating risk and avoiding complete meltdowns between the two of you, as you decide on the best way to proceed. Try to be as civil and willing to cooperate through it, if you can.

Not a name change.....just a change of pace from my SN that everyone knows. A lot has changed since her and I were married. We basically married because of her getting pregnant and I've tried to make it work but have wanted to leave a few times in the past and just stuck it out.

[Cobraman]

I don't have advice about the whole marriage thing - but if you ever need some free advice about the legal side of divorce or your options my dad would be glad to help you out. Let me know buddy. I hope everything works out for ya - if it doesn't you've got lots of support just a call/text away. I'd meet you for a beer...uhhh tea... anytime

[Wanderer]

I don't have advice about the whole marriage thing - but if you ever need some free advice about the legal side of divorce or your options my dad would be glad to help you out. Let me know buddy. I hope everything works out for ya - if it doesn't you've got lots of support just a call/text away. I'd meet you for a beer...uhhh tea... anytime

I appreciate it.

[CexMashean]

Why do you ask?

Just out of curiosity. Maybe you both have high stress jobs that's rolling in to your marriage.

She's not a stay-at-home mom, is she?

[Wanderer]

Just out of curiosity. Maybe you both have high stress jobs that's rolling in to your marriage.

She's not a stay-at-home mom, is she?

No, she is not. Her job is listed as one of the Top 15 Most Stressful Jobs of 2015 and I am in sales, so it can be very stressful as well.

[Silverback]

Not a name change.....just a change of pace from my SN that everyone knows. A lot has changed since her and I were married. We basically married because of her getting pregnant and I've tried to make it work but have wanted to leave a few times in the past and just stuck it out.

I would suggest talking to her, you may find out that both of you feel exactly the same, and the best thing you could do is allow each other to start their new lives now.

[ceyko]

Man, there are a 1001 ways to approach this one. I'd start with...

Are YOU past the point of no return in regards to the marriage?

Then go from there and do the tough stuff. Regardless, you have to handle it and from my experience sometimes these feelings are not as solid as you think they are and can turn around quickly with some minor changes in life/your relationship.

I've never been past any terrible point and typically a talk with my wife - adaptation on both sides and we're back at it. Hard to know what may or may not work for y'all though.

Good luck.

[slow99]

No, she is not. Her job is listed as one of the Top 15 Most Stressful Jobs of 2015 and I am in sales, so it can be very stressful as well.

Best of luck to you guys. Hope her career as a (firefighter, enlisted personnel, general, airline pilot, police officer, actor, broadcaster, event coordinator, photojournalist, newspaper reporter) gets a little less stressful.

[Big A]

I've always said that staying together for the children is the worst reasoning possible for two people who are unhappy in their relationship

I'll second this, the initial split will be rough on everyone, but in the long run it makes for a much happier environment if you cut ties now (if counseling doesn't work). Then you can each find your own bit of happiness and joy again, to then be able to share with the kids. I've seen it from both ends now, first as the kid of two people that hated each other in the end, and now as a step-father who gets along with the real father.

[Juiced4v]

Good luck man...I hope I never get to this point of just being like roomates