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Research Shows Cocaine And Heroin Are Less Addictive Than Oreos

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  • Research Shows Cocaine And Heroin Are Less Addictive Than Oreos

    “Research Shows Oreos Are Just As Addictive As Drugs,” says the headline above a recent Connecticut College press release. “…in Lab Rats,” it adds, and I’ll get to that part later. But first note that the study’s findings could just as truthfully be summarized this way: “Drugs Are No More Addictive Than Oreos.” The specific drugs included in the study were cocaine and morphine, which is what heroin becomes immediately after injection. So the headline also could have been: “Research Shows That Heroin and Cocaine Are No More Addictive Than Oreos.” Putting it that way would have raised some interesting questions about the purportedly irresistible power of these drugs, which supposedly justifies using force to stop people from consuming them. But the researchers are not interested in casting doubt on the empirical basis for the War on Drugs; instead they are trying to build an empirical basis for the War on Fat:

    “Our research supports the theory that high-fat/high-sugar foods stimulate the brain in the same way that drugs do,” [neuroscientist Joseph] Schroeder said. “It may explain why some people can’t resist these foods despite the fact that they know they are bad for them.”…

    “My research interests stemmed from a curiosity for studying human behavior and our motivations when it comes to food,” said [neuroscience major] Jamie Honohan. “We chose Oreos not only because they are America’s favorite cookie, and highly palatable to rats, but also because products containing high amounts of fat and sugar are heavily marketed in communities with lower socioeconomic statuses.”…

    “Even though we associate significant health hazards in taking drugs like cocaine and morphine, high-fat/ high-sugar foods may present even more of a danger because of their accessibility and affordability,” she said.

    According to Schroeder, “some people can’t resist these foods.” It would be more accurate to say that some people don’t resist these foods, perhaps because they do not have exactly the same values, tastes, and preferences as Schroeder and Honohan. Instead of considering that possibility, Schroeder simply assumes that people who eat things “they know…are bad for them” cannot help themselves. His explanation for this unproven premise is that “high-fat/high-sugar foods stimulate the brain in the same way that drugs do.” But if the neurological effects of Oreos make them impossible to resist, how is it that most people manage to resist them, consuming them in moderation or not at all?
    more:
    (Image: Wikipedia) "Research Shows Oreos Are Just As Addictive As Drugs," says the headline above a recent Connecticut College?press release. "...in Lab Rats," it adds, and I'll get to that part later. But first note that the study's findings could just as truthfully be summarized this way: "Drugs Are No More [...]


    I dont know about all that, but whenever I open a pack, I do a line.
    "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

  • #2
    I saw one the other day that said cheese was more addictive than heroin. lmao
    Originally posted by BradM
    But, just like condoms and women's rights, I don't believe in them.
    Originally posted by Leah
    In other news: Brent's meat melts in your mouth.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by bcoop View Post
      I saw one the other day that said cheese was more addictive than heroin. lmao
      I can believe that. I think about cheese a lot.

      Comment


      • #4
        here's the study panel:

        WRX

        Comment


        • #5
          That's funny. You don't hear many stories about people stealing and robbing to support their Oreo habit?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by 1carcrazyguy View Post
            That's funny. You don't hear many stories about people stealing and robbing to support their Oreo habit?
            If you could buy coke from the supermarket for $2 you wouldn't hear about it either.

            Comment


            • #7
              Except that withdrawing from Oreos does not make one break out in cold sweats, runny nose and eyes, leg kicks, muscle cramps, the shits, vomiting up yellow bile, and make one want to run out in front of a truck.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Denny
                You should have saw me give up sodas.
                I had a Mexican Coke yesterday from the local taco stand, OUTSTANDING.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by BP View Post
                  I had a Mexican Coke yesterday from the local taco stand, OUTSTANDING.
                  Is that when you do a line off of the counter on a food truck. I'm not up to date on all this drug lingo you kids use these days

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You ever sucked a dick for Oreos?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by jw33 View Post
                      You ever sucked a dick for Oreos?

                      I bet Naynus has
                      Originally posted by racrguy
                      What's your beef with NPR, because their listeners are typically more informed than others?
                      Originally posted by racrguy
                      Voting is a constitutional right, overthrowing the government isn't.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by mustang_revival View Post
                        here's the study panel:


                        I call bullshit. Theres no fucking way a Connecticut college would allow that many white people on a panel. And don't even get me started on the lack of women and lgbtq representation.

                        I mean, for Allah's sake!! Have you forgotten your diversity and gender studies training!?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Denny
                          You should have saw me give up sodas.
                          thats the truth

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by bcoop View Post
                            I saw one the other day that said cheese was more addictive than heroin. lmao
                            This could be true, since I can truthfully say I'm addicted to cheese but not to either heroin or Oreos.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Oreos are disgusting. Now, cheese - that's the good shit!

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