Juvenile question.

[bcoop]

Henry hit the nail on the head, but I don't think you should marry her like he and Craig suggested.

[Craizie]

Henry hit the nail on the head, but I don't think you should marry her like he and Craig suggested.

I aint ever getting married.

[SS Junk]

Third, all of these problems are coming from guess what? POOR PARENTING!

Par for the course in divorce cases when the mother becomes a full time parent. The mother is supposed to be the nurturer and the father the disciplinarian. If the father isn't around kids are going to act out.

[Chili]

Henry hit the nail on the head, but I don't think you should marry her like he and Craig suggested.

I didn't say he should marry her, just that if he was not married to her, then he needs to leave the parenting to the parent. Until or unless that happens, he is just a dude living in the house.

Sure, he can have conversations with the mother about the kid, give her advice, etc, but the ultimate responsibility is on her. If you don't think she is doing right by the kid, your choice is to stay and put up with it, or leave. Just cause you hang out with a mother does not make you the father by default.

All that said, you can still be a positive role model, but it should be more like a mentor relationship, not that of a disciplinarian.

Again, just my opinions..

[Craizie]

I didn't say he should marry her, just that if he was not married to her, then he needs to leave the parenting to the parent. Until or unless that happens, he is just a dude living in the house.

Sure, he can have conversations with the mother about the kid, give her advice, etc, but the ultimate responsibility is on her. If you don't think she is doing right by the kid, your choice is to stay and put up with it, or leave. Just cause you hang out with a mother does not make you the father by default.

All that said, you can still be a positive role model, but it should be more like a mentor relationship, not that of a disciplinarian.

Again, just my opinions..

I get what you're saying. Appreciate the advice.

[Chili]

I get what you're saying. Appreciate the advice.

It's a tough situation all around and there really isn't a 'right' answer. Having experienced it from every possible angle a man can, I can really see all sides. If you stick around, be that mentor that he needs. If he rejects it there is not much you can do. But chances are, if you do take the role of being a positive male role model, he will recognize that, probably at some point later in life.

My dad was a good example of that with my step-siblings. Most of them disliked him pretty intently at the beginning. Not due to his actions, but because of their issues with their mom's divorce in the first place. My step-sister was the worst, since she was the only one still underage when my dad and step-mom got married. There was a lot of conflict over the years. But as she became an adult, and to this day, she considers him just as much of a father, or even more-so, than the somewhat absentee bio-dad was.

Having been a step-child, I always questioned my step-parents' intentions with me, and honestly was never very comfortable around either. I was about 9 when both parents re-married. As an adult I can easily see their actions were reasonable, and came from a positive place, but as a kid there was still a slight feeling that they didn't give a shit about me. Not that their actions ever should have led me to believe that, but kids just aren't typically emotionally developed enough to see what is really going on.

[Craizie]

It's a tough situation all around and there really isn't a 'right' answer. Having experienced it from every possible angle a man can, I can really see all sides. If you stick around, be that mentor that he needs. If he rejects it there is not much you can do. But chances are, if you do take the role of being a positive male role model, he will recognize that, probably at some point later in life.

My dad was a good example of that with my step-siblings. Most of them disliked him pretty intently at the beginning. Not due to his actions, but because of their issues with their mom's divorce in the first place. My step-sister was the worst, since she was the only one still underage when my dad and step-mom got married. There was a lot of conflict over the years. But as she became an adult, and to this day, she considers him just as much of a father, or even more-so, than the somewhat absentee bio-dad was.

Having been a step-child, I always questioned my step-parents' intentions with me, and honestly was never very comfortable around either. I was about 9 when both parents re-married. As an adult I can easily see their actions were reasonable, and came from a positive place, but as a kid there was still a slight feeling that they didn't give a shit about me. Not that their actions ever should have led me to believe that, but kids just aren't typically emotionally developed enough to see what is really going on.

Again, I appreciate the advice. I've never had step parents, and I've never had kids, nor have I ever been with anyone that had kids prior to this.

[samuel642000]

Take him to a boxing gym, or mma gym, where it's legal to put hands on him, because after all y'all are "training."

[Ktulu]

Take him to a boxing gym, or mma gym, where it's legal to put hands on him, because after all y'all are "training."

I know a good place.