Anyone dealing with an aging relative?

[black50]

You need to sign her up for Medicaid and put her in a nursing home and be done with it.

Medicaid will only pay for 60-90 days worth of care then they will seize and liquidate all her assets

Its called Medicaid Reimbursement and if it wasn't for my relatives moving in with my grandmother she would have went to a nursing home and Medicaid would have taken her house, land and any money she had left

[YALE]

Medicaid will only pay for 60-90 days worth of care then they will seize and liquidate all her assets

Its called Medicaid Reimbursement and if it wasn't for my relatives moving in with my grandmother she would have went to a nursing home and Medicaid would have taken her house, land and any money she had left

If her brain is going, that house might already be trashed.

[YALE]

You could always get power of attorney and sell it now, then put her in a home with the proceeds.

[LaserSVT]

Cant sell it now. has a reverse morgtage. Need to pay back 40k and I dont have that.

[32vfromhell]

I would say you need power of attorney and to yank her keys. She is not making any sound decisions at all.

How old?

[Broncojohnny]

Medicaid will only pay for 60-90 days worth of care then they will seize and liquidate all her assets

Its called Medicaid Reimbursement and if it wasn't for my relatives moving in with my grandmother she would have went to a nursing home and Medicaid would have taken her house, land and any money she had left

As long as I understand what he is saying correctly, if the house is reverse mortgaged then she doesn't own it. She has no real assets outside of SS, besides the income stream from the reverse mortgage. That money would go to pay for the nursing home and Medicaid would pay for the rest. Once that income stream is exhausted then it would have to be fully paid for by Medicaid.

I'm going through this same sort of thing right now with my grandmother who is 86. She does have real assets. I told my mom years ago to put it all into a trust but that hasn't been done. All of it is about to be lost despite my advice and I washed my hands of it a while back.

[David]

I couldn't imagine this nightmare.

[GrayStangGT]

Going through similar circumstances with my grandparents (minus the reverse mortgage mess) however they refused to plan ahead and it has been a giant pain in the ass dealing with medicaid/Medicare and trying to preserve what few assets they have.

[line-em-up]

If I overheard my own grandmother say she was going to kill me.... Yea fuck you take care of yourself

x10

Laser, You are one nice guy. There is no way in hell I would give her two cents of my time or money after hearing her say that.

[LaserSVT]

She is 83 now. And she hadnt begun the downward spiral when the killing comment was made. She never expected me to outlive everyone else. Now that i am the last living relative she depends on me for everything.

[Jewrrick]

She is 83 now. And she hadnt begun the downward spiral when the killing comment was made. She never expected me to outlive everyone else. Now that i am the last living relative she depends on me for everything.

And I would tell her to go fuck off. I love my Grandma but if I heard her say that she would be on her own taking care of shit, that's fucked up.

[ceyko]

Yeah, I must be a horrible relative. I've written off "family" for a lot less.

[jammeejamm]

this situation is something i often think about.

the men on my father's side either die early, or develop alzheimer's. my father and uncle died before the age 45. my grandfather had alzheimer's, and his father passed fairly early as well. my only memory of my grandfather was a blank, childish look on his face while my grandmother fed him a banana in the nursing home.

i do not want to put a loved one through that.

[bcoop]

Medicaid will only pay for 60-90 days worth of care then they will seize and liquidate all her assets

Its called Medicaid Reimbursement and if it wasn't for my relatives moving in with my grandmother she would have went to a nursing home and Medicaid would have taken her house, land and any money she had left

As long as I understand what he is saying correctly, if the house is reverse mortgaged then she doesn't own it. She has no real assets outside of SS, besides the income stream from the reverse mortgage. That money would go to pay for the nursing home and Medicaid would pay for the rest. Once that income stream is exhausted then it would have to be fully paid for by Medicaid.

This is all correct. We had to go through this with my grandmother, when it became impossible to take care of her. My mother and her siblings tried to delay as long as they could. She'd spend 3-4 months with my parents, then 3-4 months with my aunt, then 3-4 months with my uncle. They kept the rotating schedule for a couple years. Then she started to wander off in the middle of the night, looking for "home". Scared the shit out of us several times. I can't tell you how many panicked phone calls I got at 3-4 am, asking me to come over and help search the neighborhood. We installed locks higher up on the doors, and she figured out where the key was and still got out looking for home. We figured out the rotation thing may have been confusing her further, so my Mom and sister attempted full time care. My sis only works part time, and my Mom was retired at this point. She hit a point where she became combative. She'd try to hit or bite you if you were making her do something she didn't want to do like eat, or take a shower/bath. It got to where the two of them couldn't handle her anymore. My mom is 74 herself, and we didn't want her getting hurt trying to take care of grandmother. Alzheimer's is a shitty, shitty disease. There aren't many worse things to watch a loved one go through.

My Dad bought her house and assets, and they put her on Medicaid. It took a while though, and from what I can remember, there is no guarantee your grandmother will get approved for full time care. My mother spent thousands of hours on the paperwork and research side of things. Best of luck to you.

[Denny]

If I ever find out that I'm terminal with something that's going to burden my family, I'm just going to disappear.