Anyone dealing with an aging relative?

[LaserSVT]

This is a bit of a rant so most wont read all of this. Most of my family has died over the last few years. This is after bleeding me dry of every last cent I had and then some. Compounded by my grandmother doing a reverse mortgage on the house I deeded to her that she hasnt been paying taxes on so now the RM place wants the house. There was $122,000 wasted. She also has no idea what happened to the money.
Knowing she was getting senile I knew she needed care and after caring for my aunt, father and grandfather and then being royally screwed by all of them I am over taking care of my family so i located her high school BF and reunited them. He is a millionaire and was in poor health. She moved in with him and said he was leaving everything to her, great, problem solved. Well she couldnt stand it there and moved back into the house I deeded her. That guy just passed away and did leave everything to her. She declined anything and everything to the lawyers. I find this out 2 months after the fact.
So its back on my shoulders. I am doing her books and see she still hasnt paid the taxes. I also see a gas company check for $160. I ask what its for and get no answer. Go to the back 40 acres and see a new pipeline. She signed off to the gas company the back part of the lot for $160. ARRRRRGHHHHH!!
Now shes calling me to tell me "He left!" ........ who? "Rich!" ...... argh, Rich has been dead 5 years. So yeah, she lost it. Not sure what do to. Cant afford a nursing home.

Anyone know of services for the elderly that can come see them a few times a week to keep them functioning or am I screwed and just have to pay for some kind of care giver? Not like i have the money to do it but on the other hand she has tried to have me killed before so I have a hard time getting over that.
Any ideas? If I have to pay for someone then I have to pay for someone. The alternative is moving he in with me and...... no.

[dsrtuckteezy]

how did she try to have you killed? sounds like alzheimers. it's a nasty disease

[LaserSVT]

I think it is Alzheimers. Her mother had it and I think her older sister too but she died from a drug overdose.

As for the killing, the condensed version is after my father stole and sold my Cobra he bought a Rock River AR-15 and went to show it to her. He was also complaining about me non-stop as I took his keys away because he totaled 2 trucks I bought him. She didnt know I was outside the kitchen and she said to use the gun to shoot me and collect the insurance. There was silence followed by "I am serious. Show me how to use it and I will shoot him." That pretty much cemented my "when you are old and alone you will stay that way" attitude towards her.

That being said she is still my grandmother so I feel I need to do something. I just cant move her in with me and I will be damned if I am going to drive 120 miles every day to check up on her. I already paid most of the back taxes on my house she took the mortage on just to make sure she didn try to move in with me.

[black50]

Thats dementia and it fucking sucks...its horrible to watch someone go through that and then to watch others take advantage of them really sucks

Went through something just like you with my grandmother in 2013

Lucky for me i had some family members that moved in with her to take care of her...but come to find out they pretty much bled her dry...when she died I went to the bank to close all her accounts....She only had 1 account still open and to my surprise it only had $78.00.....She had thousands of dollars just a couple years before spread among 3-4 different accounts

Oh and once she died the family members wouldn't move out of her house, took me right at a year and $3,500 to get them out

[LaserSVT]

I am constantly on her mail because if any scam for any ammount of money comes in, if it looks like a bill she will just send out a check. She has been paying for an AT&T cell phone for 3 years. She has never had a cellphone other than the one I gave her and had been paying on until I found out she lost it some time last year.

The cops and fire department are the worst! They take her for $200 each every year!
Then her truck started running rough and instead of calling me (she forgot I am a mechanic) she went to a shop and they said $3900 for a new motor. She was about to have it done but I showed up to take her to lunch and she mentioned the truck ran bad. One freaking spark plug wire was removed. Just gone. No idea what happened. threw a spare wire on, cleared the code and the truck is perfect. Ugh.

[YALE]

Dude, she doesn't need to be driving.

[LaserSVT]

Yeah, I agree. Thats why I need to find some kind of care giver. Hell its a big (not DFW baller big) house with a couple spare bedrooms. I need to find someone that can room and board and make sure the bills go out. I always figured when it came to the point she needed a nursing home that I could sell that property and pay for it. Well she screwed that up all the way. Then I figured her inheriting that millionairs money would be even better but she screwed that up too.

[dsrtuckteezy]

If I overheard my own grandmother say she was going to kill me.... Yea fuck you take care of yourself

[JC316]

If I overheard my own grandmother say she was going to kill me.... Yea fuck you take care of yourself

With you there.

OP, man, I am all for looking out for family, but you should have stopped a LONG time ago. Being used as a cash cow isn't family, it's a screw job.

[dcs13]

If I overheard my own grandmother say she was going to kill me.... Yea fuck you take care of yourself

I hope you never have to make that decision. Alzhiemers and senility suck for everyone. The worst is when they are physically capable, but their mind goes.
Memory care nursing is VERY expensive. It's a very difficult and tedious job.

Laser, contact Texas Department of health and human services. If there is any assistance available, they will point you in the right direction.
Good luck. Dealing with my mom right now. I love her, but man, sometimes the shit she says and does just pisses you off to no end. She doesn't know any better though. We found a home in Princeton that is going to run about $2300 a month. It's not memory care.

[dsrtuckteezy]

I hope you never have to make that decision. Alzhiemers and senility suck for everyone. The worst is when they are physically capable, but their mind goes.
Memory care nursing is VERY expensive. It's a very difficult and tedious job.

Laser, contact Texas Department of health and human services. If there is any assistance available, they will point you in the right direction.
Good luck. Dealing with my mom right now. I love her, but man, sometimes the shit she says and does just pisses you off to no end. She doesn't know any better though. We found a home in Princeton that is going to run about $2300 a month. It's not memory care.

I watched my grandfather die if Alzheimer's several months ago. I think it's safe to assume that if she was talking about collecting insurance on her murdered grandson coupled with her poor money management that she was of sound enough mind. There's no way to rationalize that. Thanks for your 2 cents though

[Scott Mc]

If I overheard my own grandmother say she was going to kill me.... Yea fuck you take care of yourself

I have a good friend that in his fathers last years with Alzhiemers would try to fight him every day thinking he was another person. His father passed but now his mom has it and thinks he is her brother. He sees her 2 to 3 times a week, I have a lot of respect the man for dealing with that horrible disease. Good luck lazer.

[dsrtuckteezy]

I have a good friend that in his fathers last years with Alzhiemers would try to fight him every day thinking he was another person. His father passed but now his mom has it and thinks he is her brother. He sees her 2 to 3 times a week, I have a lot of respect the man for dealing with that horrible disease. Good luck lazer.

Trust me man I saw my grandfather do similar shit, and I fully understood why, and didn't take anything personal. What lasersvt described sounded like she fully knew what she was talking about

My grandpa was so bad you couldn't even understand wtf he was talking about. Broke my heart. His advanced quick within a few years to his death. He was an infant. His mom has had it for probably 15-20 years and she's still alive. It's a fucked up disease

[Scott Mc]

I see your point and on here I agree with you but in person is always different. Man that sucks, and I also feel your pain. I do not fear death, I personally fear being old with a bad disease.

[Broncojohnny]

You need to sign her up for Medicaid and put her in a nursing home and be done with it.