Work Shenannigans

[Mr_Fiux]

Hi there guys, I dont know if this has been posted yet, however I felt that I should share my shennanigans at work here in the UK.

For example. One of my colleagues wants 44 Ipad air covers... He doesn't tell me what type. He just tells me he wants a quote for procurement. I ask him to confirm what he needs.
He responds

"Thanks

What kind of covers are there and what are their prices?

Regards

Ian"


I simply respond by saying...


"Hi Ian

Sorry, there must be some confusion. I was kind of hoping that you could help me on that part.

As for covers I was needing for you to guide me in the right direction. There is literally thousands of different variations of covers and of course pricing.


For example

There are covers of leather, pleather and felt.
There are covers with fire protection so they don’t melt.
There are covers of all shapes and sizes
Some come with foam to prevent cracks on devises
There are covers with included Bluetooth keyboards
This way we can chat with the people that heal us
There are covers that are pink, brown or blue
In this case which cover might be right for you?
There are covers cheap and expensive
If this is the case, we will be extensive
There are covers thick and thin
There are so many covers I don’t know where to begin. 


Value wise, they range anywhere from £10 to £40?



Very best regards"





What you guys got?

[YALE]

Ha!

[Ratt]

I just started a new job, and I don't yet know the guys here well enough to pull shenanigans. Keyword there being "yet".

[GhostTX]

Tell him to provide a link of what he wants.


And I like your retort.

[mstng86]

reminds me of the dr seus books i have to read to my kids.

good job

[Rick Modena]

Niiice. Though I would have just ordered the best expensive gold plated covers on the market and let billing sort it out...

[Mr_Fiux]

Niiice. Though I would have just ordered the best expensive gold plated covers on the market and let billing sort it out...

Yeah that is not going to work when the government provided healthcare service of the NHS is on the brink of financial collapse, yet I spent over £1,000,000 on Dell Kit yesterday doing an aggregated spend. That is right people the financial system of the NHS the same shit Obama wants in the US is about to collapse here in the UK that they have to privatize most parts of it. Also Dental isnt covered which is why the English have horrible teeth.

[GhostTX]

Yeah that is not going to work when the government provided healthcare service of the NHS is on the brink of financial collapse, yet I spent over £1,000,000 on Dell Kit yesterday doing an aggregated spend. That is right people the financial system of the NHS the same shit Obama wants in the US is about to collapse here in the UK that they have to privatize most parts of it. Also Dental isnt covered which is why the English have horrible teeth.

Ah...if only that tid bit were put on the airwaves...

[pHILSANITY07]

I've pulled a few. One was hiding in the backseat while someone was getting gas. Quietly go through the passanger side while he's talking to someone. Then when he hops in i grabbed his shoulder (before putting it in gear) and he screamed like a girl and got out of the truck.

[line-em-up]

Send him this link.

http://lmgtfy.com/

[cobrajet69]

Two stories;
1: Big guy walks in with gorgeous young lady. Want's to look at some Jaguar XJ-Ls. He spots a 14 S550 and really liked it. Show him a G Ride (AMG G-63) and a Bentley. He said he'll have to wait until big money comes in but doesn't really like the G ride but has a buddy who owns one. Just making conversation, I ask if he played ball. He looks at me, grins and says no. I say "well, you'll need to reach baller status to pull that Bentely. He grinned again.

Walking out to leave he says "actually I do play ball, was just messing with you. I asked where. He said Seattle. I say "as in Seahawks? Yes. What position? Center. Starting? Yes! Him: Nah, I'm being straight up with you bro!
Put his hand out and said "Patrick Lewis".
Me You are starting center for the freaking Seahawks?
Him: Yes. I ask what he was doing here and he said his parents live here and he comes down during off season. Said he went to A&M.

His lady was just grinning. I said "so he is a baller, and humble too". She said "mmmhhm".
Really nice guy for such a beast.

2. Same day as above. 3 young black guys dressed in hip hop attire come in to see a C250. One is doing all the talking (very heavy accent) and has a gold chain with huge Rolex pendant, encased in diamonds. Large Rolex watch (possibly Brolex), and gold rings. Other two guys pimping the same gear. They look at the C, then move to a `14 Bentley Continental GT and ask to test drive. I say NO, unless you can prove valid intent to purchase and verifiable funds. He said "I pay cash!". I said "you got $140 g's close by"? He said I'll come back in a few days to get it and said I'll take the Benz - for now.
NOTE: The entire time we are talking, he's on face time showing all of these cars to his "boss", who is apparently speaking HuTu, or similar

We go to my office and says that no taxes to be paid, car is shipping overseas. I ask where and he said Nigeria. He then pulls out a large manila envelope and proceeds to pull blocks of pre-wrapped $100 bills in $10k blocks. I said to keep that until you get to financing, I'm not counting that much money.

This is indeed a strange world we live in!


David

[Mr_Fiux]

^ Nigerian scam?

[cobrajet69]

Lol
Dead presidential coupons FTW


David

[YALE]

^ Nigerian scam?

Their oil money is real.