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The other night I met up with a girl I’d met online. Despite having a stripped-down profile that revealed very little about her sexual appetites, I went in optimistic about getting laid that night. In my head, I’d somehow ascertained she had “slut face,” and was therefore more likely than others to put out. Before every date—as a sort of silly little game with myself—I like to set a percentage for the likelihood that I’ll get laid that night. I adjust it up or down throughout the evening depending on certain cues, and how well I figure my game is landing. Hers started at an aggressive 25 percent, meaning that I’d assessed, going in, I had a 1-in-4 chance of banging this girl on the first date–all before having ever spoken a word to her.
When I got the girl to my apartment later that night, her number jumped from 40 to 60 percent. It had already been climbing steadily from its starting point thanks to a series of subtle slut tells she’d been emitting at the bar. When we started making out, her responsiveness pushed the number to 75 percent. When she announced “I’m not having sex with you,” it climbed to 90 percent. Most experienced womanizers recognize that statement as more-times-than-not a girl’s final, feeble pawing at her sex snooze-button. When, after increasingly spirited making-out, I reached for her pants button, she confessed, “I want to have sex, but guys don’t respect girls who have sex on the first date. And, [in a disappointed tone] I’m on my period.” 98 percent.
I responded, with a smirk and joking tone, “If it makes you feel any better I already don’t respect you. I’ll go get a red towel. Go take out that tampon.” She laughed and ran to the bathroom. 100 percent. I don’t normally have sex during periods, but make exceptions for new bangs.
When I got the girl to my apartment later that night, her number jumped from 40 to 60 percent. It had already been climbing steadily from its starting point thanks to a series of subtle slut tells she’d been emitting at the bar. When we started making out, her responsiveness pushed the number to 75 percent. When she announced “I’m not having sex with you,” it climbed to 90 percent. Most experienced womanizers recognize that statement as more-times-than-not a girl’s final, feeble pawing at her sex snooze-button. When, after increasingly spirited making-out, I reached for her pants button, she confessed, “I want to have sex, but guys don’t respect girls who have sex on the first date. And, [in a disappointed tone] I’m on my period.” 98 percent.
I responded, with a smirk and joking tone, “If it makes you feel any better I already don’t respect you. I’ll go get a red towel. Go take out that tampon.” She laughed and ran to the bathroom. 100 percent. I don’t normally have sex during periods, but make exceptions for new bangs.
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