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Bad ass whoopings?

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  • #1

    Bad ass whoopings?

    Talk about some of the bad ass whoopings you got when you were a kid.

    Another thread brought this to mind. For some strange and unknown reason when I was 7 me and a friend got the bright idea to pour maple syrup into the oil fill hole of his dads irocz. I think he had seen his dad changing the oil or something and wanted to do it too. He got a beat down and so did I once my parents were called.

    Got another one for kicking holes in the sheetrock of my closet once I found out that could be done. Think i was about 10 at the time. Thought my dad wouldnt notice.

    Lets hear some stories
    WH
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  • #2
    I was watching cartoons on a Saturday morning playing with some toy I had. I was reading the batteries and noticed it said "Keep out of direct flame, may cause explosion." So I threw 3 D batteries in the fire place next to me and eagerly waited. About 20 minutes later after I had lost interest one exploded and blew a large flaming log into the center of the living room. I immediately jumped up and grabbed the log with the giant tongs from the fireplace set and threw it back into the fireplace, then I swept up all the glowing embers and put them into a paper grocery bag we had old ashes in next to the fireplace. the fire alarm went off, my dad came rushing in and I quickly through my bean bag on top of the giant burn hole in the carpet. My dad was raising hell, asking me what happened. I told him the fireplace popped. He calmed down, went back into the kitchen. Just about that time the paper bag ignited and he ran back in, beat my ass because I was playing with the fire. Then he moved the bean bag and I got another biblical ass beating. Shortly thereafter I learned how to lay carpet.
    "When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic." -Benjamin Franklin
    "A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury." -Alexander Fraser Tytler

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    • #3
      My sister, father, and I were all in a car together one time and I was annoying the hell out of my dad somehow (I don't recall how). He said "if I hear one peep out of you I am going to stop the car and spank you). Mind you I was only 4 or 5 at the time.
      I promptly said "peep peep peep". Old man locked the brakes up, got out of the car on the service road and yanked me out to dispense with a pretty solid belting.

      Seems like these days if people saw a kid getting a spanking on the side of the road they would phone the police, but I will say, that was very effective as I kept my damn mouth shut for the remainder of the ride.
      Originally posted by lincolnboy
      After watching Games of Thrones, makes me glad i was not born in those years.

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      • #4
        Got beat with a wood meat mallet for not telling my parents I failed a 7th grade. I hid the letter. 7 am on the dot of the last day for summer school registration the phone rang. I knew exactly who it was and what was said. The principal called after not seeing me enrolled. When we got home my mom threw me a beating. That was a long, long summer.
        Fuck you. We're going to Costco.

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        • #5
          I don't even know where to begin... Have to come back to this one when I have a real keyboard and some time.
          "Laws that forbid the carrying of arms...disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes...Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man." - Thomas Jefferson, 1776

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          • #6
            Originally posted by kbscobravert View Post
            Got beat with a wood meat mallet for not telling my parents I failed a 7th grade. I hid the letter. 7 am on the dot of the last day for summer school registration the phone rang. I knew exactly who it was and what was said. The principal called after not seeing me enrolled. When we got home my mom threw me a beating. That was a long, long summer.
            I can't even remember how many times I got my ass beat by my mom with the wooden spoon.
            "When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic." -Benjamin Franklin
            "A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury." -Alexander Fraser Tytler

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            • #7
              Did something stupid when I was 5 (dont remember what) and when my mom went to spank me I escaped. Then my step-dad got involved, grabbed me, bent me over the bed, and had my mom hold me down while he whooped the shit out of me. I've had countless wooden paddleball paddles broken on my ass...to the point they wised up and bought a thick plastic one. Numerous switches, belts, paddles at school. Fun times.
              "We, the people, are the rightful masters of both congress and the courts - not to overthrow the constitution, but to overthrow men who pervert the constitution." Abraham Lincoln

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              • #8
                The worst i had was from my grandmother. She did the ol go pick a switch thing. Of couse i chose the wrong size.

                She wore my ass out, the worse thing is it was not even my fault. Stupid brothers

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                • #9
                  I was 8, grandparents had three crab apple trees in their back yard. My brother had just tought me how to shoot a wrist rocket. Bathroom window+ crab apple loaded wrist rocket= Lesson learned. Grandmother made Adrian Peterson look like a saint.

                  I was thankful my grandfather didn't administer the ass WHOOPIN.

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                  • #10
                    My dad was working on our 1970 something Buick Century, he had the motor running doing something. I thought it would be funny to sneak in and honk the horn while he was under the hood. Little did I realize he would get his finger caught by the fan. Damn near took it off. After we got back from the emergency room and pop had settled down a bit from the drugs he beat my ass purple. I seriously couldn't sit down for a week.

                    Another time we were throwing rocks at cars from the top of the barn of another cousin. One of the cars stopped and we ran into the house. We hid in the basement thinking that nothing was being said. Nope. All three dads came down stairs drug us all upstairs and wore our asses out in front of the dude who's car we hit. Learned a valuable lesson that day. Never run into the house to hide. Go far far away.

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                    • #11
                      I have also locked up the brakes and had a roadside come-to-Jesus meeting with the boy before. I think boys test their boundaries more.

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                      • #12
                        I got my fair share of asswhoopins, but my grandmother left the most memorable ones. She grew up dirt floor poor in rural Arkansas with like 13 siblings ( may be exaggerating, cant remember the real number) and was mean as hell when she needed to be. There was always a fly swatter somewhere close by, and I get the one-hits from those pretty often. I dont remember why I got in trouble enough to have to "pick a switch" bit I did, and I get beat twice once she realized I picked a switch off the peach tree.
                        "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

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                        • #13
                          I've had wooden spoons broken on me, but the worst spankings I ever got ended up as the roundy-round dance, as my father had ahold of one arm so I couldn't get away. I still tried, and around we went.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by racrguy View Post
                            I've had wooden spoons broken on me, but the worst spankings I ever got ended up as the roundy-round dance, as my father had ahold of one arm so I couldn't get away. I still tried, and around we went.
                            Same, lol.


                            The world we live in today has pretty taken the fear out of spankings for kids. I've gotten my son a few times, but I can't bust his ass like my parents did to me.

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                            • #15
                              How do I narrow this down?

                              I posted about it before, maybe on the old board, more to demonstrate the story of my best friend after he was KIA in Iraq. Anyway, it was 94ish, early in the year. My parents had just bought a brand new Eddie Bauer Explorer. Not knowing shit from apple-butter, I decided to take it mudding with my buddy. All was going well until I decided to see if it would float and my excitement sank as fast as the truck did. The nose fell into a hole and I killed the engine ASAP. The water was about 2-3" below the hood and the rear bumper was out of the water.

                              After 2-3 hours of fucking around, I called my parents to see if they could get my sister from school because I was late. When they asked just why I was going to be late, I told them. Dad showed up in my Toyota 4x4 with a chain and just started saying over and over "Jesus Christ, Sean!" and once out of the truck a fair amount of "just what in the fuck went through your head? Are you goddamn retarded?" and so forth.

                              As we were trying to unearth the Explorer, the Raleigh PD (this was in NC), NC State Troopers, Wake County Sheriff, and a few black unmarked cars showed up. Unbeknownst to me, my little mudding experience was on a federally protected wetland. We had crossed in at an area where the fence was down and my buddy and I were getting ready to get hit with a shitload of tickets and arrested.

                              The unmarked cars contained mix contents, but there were people from the EPA and several other agencies present. They were discussing everything as the tow truck showed up and started hooking up the truck to drag it out. My dad walks over, opens the driver side door and water flushes the interior - dirty ass pond mud. To that point, I had been going in and out of the back window on the tailgate and the interior was surprisingly dry. As dad opened the door I yelled out "Look what you did!"

                              My dad runs out of the mud hole, grabbed my shirt and landed an uppercut taking me off of my feet. I was not only emotionally shocked, but physically rocked. So as I'm sitting there on my ass bleeding, the group of LEO officers started laughing. I asked the cops to arrest him and the sheriff said "Look boy, he can tan your ass better than any of us could, so you get to go home with him, instead of jail."

                              At the time I was furious, because I knew the asswhipping that was coming, but he later told me they were getting ready to arrest my friend and I for destruction of a federal wetland, trespass, and whatever else they felt like. The tow truck got the explorer out, got it home and I spent the next 3 months working my ass off to buy parts and interior pieces to fix it and make it right. He never touched me again after that, but then again, I never fucked up his stuff again, either.

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