My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer

[talisman]

That is fucked up man. But after reading a few of your other posts, just to be sure, in case it might not have even occurred to you, are you 100% sure he has it at all? You said he lies and cheats, so I immediately started thinking maybe he is setting up a new life. At any rate, cover your bases. No matter what ends up happening, I wish you the best getting through it. Sounds like a really rough situation.

[inline 6]

That is terrible to hear. I'd try not to be too hard on him. I don't want to be a burden on my family when the time comes. I don't want them to see me waste away. I want them to have good memories, rather than memories filled with sickness, doctors, me shitting myself, or whatever the case may be.

I became very distant from my father in the last couple years of his life for this very reason. Although it was more my fault that his, for my own selfish reasons I just didn’t want to remember him like that. He had mentally deteriorated to the point that he didn’t even know who I was anyway. Still does not make me feel any less of a piece of shit about it though.

[soap]

Sucks man. Know what it's like.

Brother getting over colon cancer.

Uncle was diagnosed two months ago with colon cancer.

Dr. told my dad last week probably has prostate cancer. Going to do a biopsy this week to confirm.

[hotrodcobra]

I lost my dad 8 years ago to scirosis (sp) of the liver and he never drank anything stronger than sweet tea. Man, he was tough and was not the least bit afraid of death. He did the best he could each day. Never, ever complained once or even asked why him, but anyway it made it so much easier on us. I can't tell you how many times my Mom called me in the middle of the night to come over and pick him up off the floor because he was so weak the past few months. He wanted to die at home and who can blame him for that. We only had hospice the last 7 days. I wish all guys were as strong and tough as he was so no one would have to go through the stuff you are. Just stay strong for your Mom. I do hope he sees that he is only hurting the ones that care for him and will do something to make this better for all. I have never said this in a post before, but God bless.

[01-GATOR]

Sorry to hear that man. Stay strong for your mom, she needs you a lot during this time.

[jleews6]

Thanks! I’m emotionally strong and grew up that way. Not much really bothers me but this time it has really gotten to me. You only have one dad regardless of his dumbass antics and childish behavior. It's really selfish on his part. He is a shitty husband but has been a great father. He lies, cheats, and is alcoholic but he has always been good to me.

I feel for my mom and will always stand by her side and not his!

Wow,sounds like my father. I walked out at 15 and never looked back. Never talked to him again. He is dead now.
Im sorry to hear that your dad is doing this. I dont agree with what he is doing and I cant go one day without seeing my two sons but here is my two cents on the situation. People are going to always have something to say and they might say that he is wrong for doing this and some might say he is a bad person for doing this but "they" are not in his shoes. Nobody knows what they would do in a certain situation until it happens to them.
Maybe this is hurting him more then it is you but he might feel that he needs to do this.
Either way ,Im sorry its playing out like this and I wish you luck man.

[scootro]

How bad of a alchaholic is he? If he is like my old man he will drink him self to death.

It sucks he is just up and out. If its terminal hospice will come take care of him for free. They did my grandmother. Hopefully he will want to spend his last few months with his family. People do stange things when they find out they are going to die.

If he was a good father be a good son.

he’s pretty bad and a mean drunk! Mom would never let him drink at home so he’d find excuse to leave! He’d stay drunk somewhere for awhile an then come home when he was done partying!

That's horrible, my heart goes out to you.

I lost my father to prostate cancer 16 years ago and it's a horrible way to die. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Just remeber everyone has different ways of dealing with being told they're going to die. My father went through the full spectrum of emotions when i told him he was going to die. Its very hard to watch that happen to someone you love, and even harder when it's a parent.

Keep your chin up and just know that you're doing everything in your power to help him while helping your mother at the same time.

thanks!

That is terrible to hear. I'd try not to be too hard on him. I don't want to be a burden on my family when the time comes. I don't want them to see me waste away. I want them to have good memories, rather than memories filled with sickness, doctors, me shitting myself, or whatever the case may be.

I lost my grandfather to prostate cancer several years ago. At the time, he and I were much closer than I'd ever been with my father. I can't count the number of times I drove up to see him (3.5 hours each way), and turned around less than a mile from his house. I didn't want to remember him that way. We talked on the phone often. He completely understood, and there towards the end, told me he felt like like a circus freak on display. He loved having his family around, but he was only allowing that for them, as he had grown tired of all the people in the house, 24/7.

In an effort to lighten your spirits, I've got a funny story about my grandfather's diagnosis. It was a HUGE deal when he was diagnosed. But not because he had cancer. At 76, he and my grandmother were still very sexually active. Like, 4-5x a week. So having his prostate removed was a decision that took some serious time and discussion. I thought it was so gross, lmao. Who really ever wants or needs to hear that their grandparents are still getting it on? hahahaha

oh shit now thats crazy haha!!!

That is fucked up man. But after reading a few of your other posts, just to be sure, in case it might not have even occurred to you, are you 100% sure he has it at all? You said he lies and cheats, so I immediately started thinking maybe he is setting up a new life. At any rate, cover your bases. No matter what ends up happening, I wish you the best getting through it. Sounds like a really rough situation.

you know me and mom have thought of that! Not once have we’ve been to the doctor with him so who knows? But my aunt showed me some of doctor paperwork. It was gibberish to read and she calls me regularly to give news about his well being! All around it’s fucked up.

I lost my dad 8 years ago to scirosis (sp) of the liver and he never drank anything stronger than sweet tea. Man, he was tough and was not the least bit afraid of death. He did the best he could each day. Never, ever complained once or even asked why him, but anyway it made it so much easier on us. I can't tell you how many times my Mom called me in the middle of the night to come over and pick him up off the floor because he was so weak the past few months. He wanted to die at home and who can blame him for that. We only had hospice the last 7 days. I wish all guys were as strong and tough as he was so no one would have to go through the stuff you are. Just stay strong for your Mom. I do hope he sees that he is only hurting the ones that care for him and will do something to make this better for all. I have never said this in a post before, but God bless.

thank you

[GE]

I don't really have anything different to say that hasn't been said. Hope things get better between you and the dad.

[scootro]

i woke up this morning completely stressed out! like i want to jump out of my skin. dammit its an eery feeling!!!

[Sleeper]

He is prob staying with your aunt so he can drink the pain away.

[appelingogt]

I feel for you bro...get a new hobby...or start working out...do NOT thrive on it, It can make you sick to the point of being in a hospital...I lived thru some trying times in my life and let me say the use of drugs and/or alcohol does not help....all the time

[Leah]

What a terrible situation. I'm so sorry-I wish I had more/better words, but I can't imagine what you and your family are going through. We'll keep you in our thoughts.

[scootro]

I feel for you bro...get a new hobby...or start working out...do NOT thrive on it, It can make you sick to the point of being in a hospital...I lived thru some trying times in my life and let me say the use of drugs and/or alcohol does not help....all the time

What a terrible situation. I'm so sorry-I wish I had more/better words, but I can't imagine what you and your family are going through. We'll keep you in our thoughts.

thanks