Legal question regarding divorce/money

[mstng86]

I know, I know this isn't a legal forum so it seems stupid to even ask on here. but hey, you guys have life experience, and that counts.

I have a mother that has all kinds of issues, including drug use. long story short, her husband has divorced her and is paying her a large lump of cash. This was set up in two payments. The first payment was months back and she has blown through that easily.

So here we are, the next check is coming and her husband is calling me to see if he can give ME the money to help her not spend it.

Is this even legal? I don't want to deal with it because I don't want her coming around at all hours of the night looking for money, but it would keep her from blowing through it as easily.

She is entitled to the money. It is hers. But she will no doubt blow through it and not help her situation at all. I would like to think there would be a way for me to step in and help her retain as much as she can for as long as she can. It is a pretty big lump sum that could help her make a stable situation but I don't see her doing the right thing.

What do you guys think? Stay out of it and let the chips fall? Ask her if I can hold on to the money for her?

Likely she won't want me to hold on to her money.. I can already see that response playing out in my mind.

[yellowstang]

Without a lawyer and getting something done in court, I think the judge would say give it to her as it was defined in the divorce proceedings.
Sucks man, good luck!

[Unicorn Jeff]

Does she have kids living with her? If so call CPS on her. But I'm pretty sure she has to get the money.

[Cooter]

stay out of it

[racrguy]

stay out of it

Best advice in the thread. I wouldn't touch that situation with a 10 foot pole.

[Baron Von Crowder]

stay out of it

that.

Stay the fuck out of it.

[bcoop]

Big fat bucket of nope.

[lowthreeohz]

Give her fair warning - blow this next check and dont you fucking dare come asking me for help. then sit back and win.

[BP]

If this money isn't being funneled through some government agency or an appointed trustee it's going to end badly for everyone involved. If she's obviously going to blow it on drugs then someone should get the courts involved and send her through rehab before she sees a penny of it.

But the best advice you'll get is Cooter's, stay the heck out of it.

[mstng86]

Does she have kids living with her? If so call CPS on her. But I'm pretty sure she has to get the money.

No, she is 55 years old and we are all grown. I wouldn't say she raised us either.

stay out of it

This is my instinct, but its hard to fight the realization that your mom is about to blow probably the only money she will ever have left in her life. And then I am sure she will be coming to hit me or my sis up for help.

Without a lawyer and getting something done in court, I think the judge would say give it to her as it was defined in the divorce proceedings.
Sucks man, good luck!

Yea, and that would require money for a lawyer I don't want to pay for right now.

Give her fair warning - blow this next check and dont you fucking dare come asking me for help. then sit back and win.

I pretty much do that already. I haven't talked to her in probably 8 months. I just don't tolerate her choices and she knows it.

If this money isn't being funneled through some government agency or an appointed trustee it's going to end badly for everyone involved. If she's obviously going to blow it on drugs then someone should get the courts involved and send her through rehab before she sees a penny of it.

But the best advice you'll get is Cooter's, stay the heck out of it.

It really is hard to just watch her piss it all away since I know she is going to be begging for help later. I would rather her be self sufficient.

[GE]

If mom wants someone to party with and blow through that wad of cash, hollah at me.

[Cooter]

I didn't realize that "I have a mother" meant it was your actual mother...

In that case, you do what you feel is best for her although you realize it's probably wasted effort. I'm sure you've tried to help many times. At some point, you have to let an addict find rock bottom, even if it's the bottom of a grave.

Sorry if that's harsh/morbid. I lost my brother to heroin addiction, so I'm not just playing keyboard badass

[Baron Von Crowder]

No, she is 55 years old and we are all grown. I wouldn't say she raised us either.


This is my instinct, but its hard to fight the realization that your mom is about to blow probably the only money she will ever have left in her life. And then I am sure she will be coming to hit me or my sis up for help.

Yea, and that would require money for a lawyer I don't want to pay for right now.


I pretty much do that already. I haven't talked to her in probably 8 months. I just don't tolerate her choices and she knows it.



It really is hard to just watch her piss it all away since I know she is going to be begging for help later. I would rather her be self sufficient.

It's going to be very hard to understand, but that wont happen. Anticipate that she will always be this way, and hopefully you can be surprised with her finding a different path, rather than resent that she is the way she is.

I didn't realize that "I have a mother" meant it was your actual mother...

In that case, you do what you feel is best for her although you realize it's probably wasted effort. I'm sure you've tried to help many times. At some point, you have to let an addict find rock bottom, even if it's the bottom of a grave.

Sorry if that's harsh/morbid. I lost my brother to heroin addiction, so I'm not just playing keyboard badass

I watched my dad going down hill for years. lt still bums me out that I had to be an ass to him about shit, he got mad at me for not loaning him money two days before he od'ed. Sad that it ended the way it did for him, Im not sure that he even had a clue that I had a truck in my driveway that I was giving to him since he had just gotten his driver's licence back after 10 years.

[bird_dog0347]

stay out of it

Best advice in the thread. I wouldn't touch that situation with a 10 foot pole.

ALMOST the best advice, slightly better advice below.

Stay the fuck out of it.

[ELVIS]

sorry to hear man. i dont think there is anything you can do. adults are going to do what they gonna do.

god bless.