Reasons why Austin is the worst place ever

[Sean88gt]

Of course he is right about the heat and traffic. Those things make Austin suck just as much as they do DFW and Houston.

But holy shit - he's bitching about whiskey bacon and a pun-off? What a crybaby, buzzkilling, little bitch!

I mean, it sounds like he just wants to take the pun out of everything.

I think he was bitching more about the people there buying into bullshit than the actual events.

The article could be tweaked and applied to any/every other city in Texas.

[bcoop]

The article could be tweaked and applied to any/every other city in the US.

I know you hate Texas, but be honest here....

[Baron Von Crowder]

I know you hate Texas, but be honest here....

he keeps coming back...

[bcoop]

he keeps coming back...

In before he blames it on his wife!

[Sean88gt]

I know you hate Texas, but be honest here....

I'm not saying for THOSE reasons, I'm saying that each city has their specific niche they assign to themselves. For example, Dallas is pretentious, religious, full of fake tits (not complaining), financed vehicles, etc.

Not so much a hatred as it is an outsider sitting here and absorbing it all.

[Unicorn Jeff]

Oh I do too, it's expensive, but well worth it to me. I haven't driven through Austin since they built that damn thing. And no one uses it, so cruising at 90 is bad ass...

Got pulled over by a state trooper during the F1 races last year or the year before that. The group of cars and I were doing 100. He picked me and said he pulled me over for no front LP. Gave me a warning them told me to take off because he wanted to hear the cobra scream. And I did... Then slowed down and as he was passing me he gave me the thumbs up. Love 130

[Unicorn Jeff]

I'm not saying for THOSE reasons, I'm saying that each city has their specific niche they assign to themselves. For example, Dallas is pretentious, religious, full of fake tits (not complaining), financed vehicles, etc.

Not so much a hatred as it is an outsider sitting here and absorbing it all.

Oh yeah? Well Fucking Cologayo smells like deer shit and I seem them gays fuckin on the mountain under a rainbow. It was so gay it made my prostate quiver... With excitement.

JK Colorado is Fucking awesome. Haven't been in a while though.

[talisman]

I mean, it sounds like he just wants to take the pun out of everything.

This fuckin' guy..

[Roscoe]

What do you think he is wrong on? I know Matt would agree with every bit of that after his stint in Austin. I think it's spot on.


I enjoy visiting there. A weekend at a time. I don't know that I could live there, though.

The bacon and the humidity are the main ones that I disagreed with. Humidity isn't shit in Austin compared to Houston.

Austin is home of some of the best fucking breakfast tacos, too...

Everything else - nailed it.

[Blame Canada]

I-35 between Georgetown and Buda is a giant clusterfuck!

I 35 between Duluth and Laredo is a complete clusterfuck.

[bcoop]

Austin is home of some of the best fucking breakfast tacos, too...

Good tacos, and claiming to invent the breakfast taco are two different things though.


And yes, every city in TX is humid. Some more than others. It's still humid as shit though.

[mikeb]

The smart ones are going from TX to CA... right, Mike?

When I drove out here I noticed that I was the only u-haul going west. I saw lots of them going east.

I see a lot of Texas license plates around town.

I got a job offer out here and since I was starving I took it and relocated. Hey, its just another place to live.

Texas has heat, tornadoes, brisket, and lots of undocumented aliens.

Southern California has earthquakes, wildfires, tri-tip, and lots of undocumented aliens.

Not so different really.

[Trip McNeely]

Austin sucks unless you're a frat college kid who roams 6th street 7 days a week looking to make an ass out of yourself or a hipster liberal douchebag. Outskirts of Austin however are beautiful.