Tweet
Don't be one of these guys in 2014!
Be safe!
http://deadspin.com/what-horrible-th...ear-1487404095
http://deadspin.com/what-horrible-th...ear-1487404095
While collecting insertions into various orifices for our annual feature, we stumbled across a good number of truly awful penis-related mishaps. Culled from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, here's a year's worth of self-abuse.
All descriptions are verbatim from ER admittance records:
All descriptions are verbatim from ER admittance records:
- PUT HIS WEDDING RING ON HIS PENIS, NOW CAN'T GET IT OFF
- SITTING ON A TOILET AND DROPPED CIGARETTE ONTO PENIS
- BLEEDING FROM PENIS, WAS DANCING AND RUBBING UP AGAINST SOMEONE REALLY ROUGH
- STRUCK PENIS ON SPEAKER BOX
- CUT PENIS ON GIRLFRIENDS BELLY BUTTON RING
- WAS AT A WATER PARK AND RAN INTO A POLE, FOREHEAD AND PENIS CONTUSION
- HAS BEEN WRAPPING TISSUES AROUND PENIS WHILE GOING TO THE BATHROOM;DYSURIA
- WAS SEWING PANTS AND GOT NEEDLE STUCK IN PENIS
- GOLFING AND GOT TICK BITE TO PENIS
- LACERATION PENIS WHEN GRABBED DURING BASKETBALL GAME
- WHILE PUTTING ON PJ'S HE HIT HIS PENIS AGAINST THE WALL
- WAS IN THE SHOWER WASHING HIS PENIS, HAD FORESKIN PULLED BACK, & GOT STARTLED, HE PULLED IT BACK FURTHER. PENILE FRENULUM TEAR
- WAS WALKING IN HOME AND FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR BOARDS STRUCK PENIS
- LACERATION TO PENIS USING SHOT GLASS TO MASTURBATE
- DEVELOPED A LESION TO PENIS AFTER WEARING SOMEONE ELSES PANTS
- SHOT WITH BB GUN BY BRO TO THE GENITAL
- HEMATOMA TO PENIS AFTER BUMPING INTO A POOL TABLE WHILE TRYING TO TAKE A SHOT
- BURNT PENIS WITH BLOW DRYER
- ON TREADMILL, FELL WITH PANTS GETTING CAUGHT & PULLED INTO TREADMILL, INJURY TO PENIS, PENILE SWELLING & PAIN, TENDERNESS; LACERATION OF PENIS
- WALKING ON A TREADMILL AS IT WAS GOING VERY SLOWLY AND FELL OFF EDGE CAUGHT PENIS ON THE TREADS ABRASION PENIS
- DROPPED A 10LB WEIGHT ONTO PENIS
- WAS JUMPING FROM ONE COUCH TO ANOTHER NOW PAIN TO PENIS.
- SLIPPED OUT OF HIS CHAIR LAST NIGHT ONTO CARPET ATTEMPTING TO CATCH A BUG. PENIS ABRASION
- FELL IN SHOWER DIRECTLY ONTO ERECT PENIS. HEARD CRACK TO SITE.
- RUNNING WITH ERECT PENIS AND FELL ONTO FLOOR SUSTAINING PENILE FRACTURE
- HEARD A POP TAKING OFF BOXERS. PENILE FRACTURE
- WAS SITTING ON COUCH @ HOME, WHEN SIBLING THREW A LARGE TOY TRUCK AT HIM HITTING PENIS. TRAUMA.
- OLDER BROTHER & HIM HORSING AROUND WHEN SIBLING BIT PENIS.
- SHUT A DVD CASE ON PENIS
- PLACED AN ELECTRIC LINT REMOVER TO PENIS AND SUSTAINED A CUT
- USING A MILK JUG FOR A URINAL, SCRAPED PENIS ON ROUGH EDGE OF PLASTIC
- HAS BEEN PUTTING HOT TOWELS ON HIS PENIS, & STRETCHING IT , TO MAKE IT BIGGER, SAW IT ON INTERNET-PENIS PAIN.
Comment