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2013 In Closing.
I guess it's about time to take stock. How was your year? What did you get done? Better year than 2012?
2013 has been a pretty odd transitional year for me. I've spent the last 5 months taking stock, actually, and not of the year, but of my entire life. I guess that's what you do when you're off work for so long. My back and neck injuries finally overpowered me this year and I was forced by upper management to leave my store that I've worked at off and on for over 15 years and managed to sequential sales records since 2009. I've had 3 surgical procedures to try and get back in shape so far, with moderate at best success. Looks like I might still have 1 more to go before the year is out if they can finish fighting with Cigna about it.
It's been a spinning surreal 5 months, as I've dealt with the fact that a lifelong career is likely over, getting bills paid with no income(you don't need that short term disability insurance, Eric, what a waste of money!), bailing out across the midwest at the start for another epic road trip while I'm able(physically and monetarily), and trying to figure out where things go from here. I've been frustrated, but I've also been free, catching up and adding to my backlog of books. My companion since I've been on my own passed away suddenly, and a month later I rescued another border collie puppy that has helped me keep my sanity. She enjoys sitting in the backyard and watching the airplanes fly overhead from DFW.
I've been angry, I've been melancholy, I've been oddly indifferent to everything, and I've wondered if I wouldn't have been better off dying in that car crash. My sister pointed out that if I had I wouldn't have been able to give her a kidney, which is certainly important, but aside from that, everything I've worked for in the last 10 years has been pointless. The odd thing is that aside for the never ending pain, I'm somewhat content. She celebrated her 9th year since the transplant back in August, btw, and her health has been great.
The strange thing about being in constant pain, is that no one notices. You can mention it and they'll say "oh," empathize for a moment, and then forget about it, and I'm just as guilty of it with friends. Unless you have something visibly wrong with you, you're viewed skeptically by everyone, even in the medical field. "White guy in his 30's? He is probably just addicted to Hydrocodone and looking to score more." It reminds of when I used to have incapacitating migraines every few months(I strangely haven't had a single one since I got divorced. Imagine that). "Suck it up, you pussy" is the general attitude you will encounter. One of the things I've tried really hard to work on this year is being empathetic. I think I've done okay at it.
The meds are affecting my short term memory. It isn't shit compared to where it was even 2 or 3 years ago. I've also noticed my writing is suffering, with sometimes weird words out of place or "ing" or "ed" left off the end of something. I catch a lot of it, but I think I'm missing more of it now, too, it's like my mind just skips over it when I'm typing, and then does the same thing when I proof read.
2012 was one of the best years of my life, so that's hard to put a year like this one up against. Despite all the negatives, this year hasn't been as bad as it could have been, or one might think after reading the last couple of paragraphs. I need to find something new to be challenged at. The Mustang will probably be going bye bye in the next 6 months, but I would like to try and get 1 more trip out of it. I've got 3 left to finish the Continental 49 States. The money is problematic. I also have a new puppy to consider, and traveling the way I travel with her is out of the question. I've all but quit drinking. Gained weight from being sedentary not wanting to move, which in turn, makes my back worse.
Still absolutely love my little house, and got a lot of work done to it early in the year before everything went to shit. It's getting fleshed out now and I'm getting to button up minor details, which I like. It fits 99% of my needs perfectly, which I think is more than most people get out of their homes. The backyard ended up being a hidden gem. It was so big I was worried about buying the house because of it last year, now I wish it was even bigger. It's the first usable backyard I've owned, and I'm out here almost daily(on my laptop back here now in fact) reading, tossing a stick for the dog, and watching the minor wildlife and air traffic. It's relaxing.
I really don't have the slightest notion what 2014 is going to bring me. My available leave will be over January 14th. I was hanging out with Blake last night and he had some pretty good ideas. All in all, this was a big transitional year, and I'm still somewhere in the middle of it. On Walkabout indeed.
How was yours?
2013 has been a pretty odd transitional year for me. I've spent the last 5 months taking stock, actually, and not of the year, but of my entire life. I guess that's what you do when you're off work for so long. My back and neck injuries finally overpowered me this year and I was forced by upper management to leave my store that I've worked at off and on for over 15 years and managed to sequential sales records since 2009. I've had 3 surgical procedures to try and get back in shape so far, with moderate at best success. Looks like I might still have 1 more to go before the year is out if they can finish fighting with Cigna about it.
It's been a spinning surreal 5 months, as I've dealt with the fact that a lifelong career is likely over, getting bills paid with no income(you don't need that short term disability insurance, Eric, what a waste of money!), bailing out across the midwest at the start for another epic road trip while I'm able(physically and monetarily), and trying to figure out where things go from here. I've been frustrated, but I've also been free, catching up and adding to my backlog of books. My companion since I've been on my own passed away suddenly, and a month later I rescued another border collie puppy that has helped me keep my sanity. She enjoys sitting in the backyard and watching the airplanes fly overhead from DFW.
I've been angry, I've been melancholy, I've been oddly indifferent to everything, and I've wondered if I wouldn't have been better off dying in that car crash. My sister pointed out that if I had I wouldn't have been able to give her a kidney, which is certainly important, but aside from that, everything I've worked for in the last 10 years has been pointless. The odd thing is that aside for the never ending pain, I'm somewhat content. She celebrated her 9th year since the transplant back in August, btw, and her health has been great.
The strange thing about being in constant pain, is that no one notices. You can mention it and they'll say "oh," empathize for a moment, and then forget about it, and I'm just as guilty of it with friends. Unless you have something visibly wrong with you, you're viewed skeptically by everyone, even in the medical field. "White guy in his 30's? He is probably just addicted to Hydrocodone and looking to score more." It reminds of when I used to have incapacitating migraines every few months(I strangely haven't had a single one since I got divorced. Imagine that). "Suck it up, you pussy" is the general attitude you will encounter. One of the things I've tried really hard to work on this year is being empathetic. I think I've done okay at it.
The meds are affecting my short term memory. It isn't shit compared to where it was even 2 or 3 years ago. I've also noticed my writing is suffering, with sometimes weird words out of place or "ing" or "ed" left off the end of something. I catch a lot of it, but I think I'm missing more of it now, too, it's like my mind just skips over it when I'm typing, and then does the same thing when I proof read.
2012 was one of the best years of my life, so that's hard to put a year like this one up against. Despite all the negatives, this year hasn't been as bad as it could have been, or one might think after reading the last couple of paragraphs. I need to find something new to be challenged at. The Mustang will probably be going bye bye in the next 6 months, but I would like to try and get 1 more trip out of it. I've got 3 left to finish the Continental 49 States. The money is problematic. I also have a new puppy to consider, and traveling the way I travel with her is out of the question. I've all but quit drinking. Gained weight from being sedentary not wanting to move, which in turn, makes my back worse.
Still absolutely love my little house, and got a lot of work done to it early in the year before everything went to shit. It's getting fleshed out now and I'm getting to button up minor details, which I like. It fits 99% of my needs perfectly, which I think is more than most people get out of their homes. The backyard ended up being a hidden gem. It was so big I was worried about buying the house because of it last year, now I wish it was even bigger. It's the first usable backyard I've owned, and I'm out here almost daily(on my laptop back here now in fact) reading, tossing a stick for the dog, and watching the minor wildlife and air traffic. It's relaxing.
I really don't have the slightest notion what 2014 is going to bring me. My available leave will be over January 14th. I was hanging out with Blake last night and he had some pretty good ideas. All in all, this was a big transitional year, and I'm still somewhere in the middle of it. On Walkabout indeed.
How was yours?
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