I hate employee self assessments. Anyone want to write mine?

[stephen4785]

Are you drinking the whiskey now?

Nope. My hoity toity job doesnt like it when you drink at work.

[Magnimike1]

You write mine, I'll write yours. haha

[stephen4785]

You write mine, I'll write yours. haha

Dear J,
I havent quit and I keep showing up. I havent melted anything down and I havent ran off the mexicans. Give me a raise.