I've never been very good at telling my wife how I really feel....

[CRASH]

Have a kid now and you're chasing diapers in your mid 30's, chasing a toddler at 40, worrying about a teenager in your mid-late 40's and putting a(nother) kid through college in your 50's.
Your wife just might be more clear headed than you are about this.

Keep your money in your pocket, use it to make a better life for your wife and kid, be happy with what you have.

I have thought about that side of it also.

My brother is 12 years older than me. We are close as hell. I did get the benefit of growing up with nicer things than he did because my parents were much more well off than when he was born. I couldn't imagine a life without him. We've been through a lot of difficult times together. Good luck Aaron.

Thanks man.

There are obviously ups and downs in every relationship and making a decision like having another child is a lot more involved than just saying, "Honey, let's have another kid" without going over the pluses and minuses.

[Frank]

I'm an only child. Those of you with siblings can't relate any more than I can relate to you. I can't imagine having a sibling and having no relationship at all like I hear of. People get this idea only child's are all spoiled or introverts, but that is just not the case.

[Shaggin Wagon]

Have a kid now and you're chasing diapers in your mid 30's, chasing a toddler at 40, worrying about a teenager in your mid-late 40's and putting a(nother) kid through college in your 50's.
Your wife just might be more clear headed than you are about this.

Keep your money in your pocket, use it to make a better life for your wife and kid, be happy with what you have.

Man, I completely agree, I'm looking forward to my 40's with grown kids and the wife and I coming back together doing what we were doing before kids.

[BradM]

I know you don't want to think about it but grand kids aren't too far around the corner. You'll still be young enough to spoil them rotten, then send them home when you get tired of them. Sweet deal.

[YALE]

I don't have any advice, but you're welcome to drink with me whenever, Aaron.

[BradM]

I don't have any advice, but you're welcome to drink with me whenever, Aaron.

Fix him up some tepid water. When I had my bar all I could get him to drink was dr pepper. LOL

[Baron Von Crowder]

Fix him up some tepid water. When I had my bar all I could get him to drink was dr pepper. LOL

Yeah, he don't drink.

[BLAKE]

I'm an only child with an only child, but we waited and I was 30 when my daughter was born.

Parenthood is a wonderful thing, but I can't imagine starting over again at this point. Good luck to y'all in figuring things out, but you know there's only one way to resolve this: you've got to talk it out and determine the "why" of things. Until you do that, you're just guessing at each other's positions. And definitely don't try to have that conversation around the kid. It'll just muddy things up.

On a side note, I don't understand where y'all get the "people with siblings are better adjusted" thing. There doesn't seem to be any science to it, just the assumption that only children are spoiled. Sounds like jealousy.

[Lone Sailor]

I have thought about that side of it also.



Thanks man.

There are obviously ups and downs in every relationship and making a decision like having another child is a lot more involved than just saying, "Honey, let's have another kid" without going over the pluses and minuses.

You obviously aren't a selfish person, so I would take with a grain a salt the comments in here from people that are only thinking about their own wants/desires in life, since that clearly doesn't line up with the type of person you are. It's your life, if you want another child I'd keep asking her to reconsider her stance on the matter. We have 3, 1 of which is 12 years the younger and another 14 years the younger. The age thing, to me (us), doesn't have ANY effect on how we are as a family or how we share our time together or how the kids love and care for each other just as we do. I kind of feel like the age thing is used as a copout more times than not. People that are already thinking about how great it's going to be when their kids are gone and out of the house and on their own just bugs the hell out of me. Acting like their kids are inconveniencing their life.

Good luck in whatever your family decides.

[talisman]

I agree, but his kids will be too far apart to even grow up together. The oldest will gone to college by the time the youngest is of any age. My bro and I are 9 years apart and we are not that close because of that in my opinion.

My sister and I are 10 years apart and I wouldn't say we're extremely close, but we definitely take care of each other when things get rough. We really don't have all that much in common aside from movies and political views, but we always come together when the other is facing adversity.

On a side note, I don't understand where y'all get the "people with siblings are better adjusted" thing. There doesn't seem to be any science to it, just the assumption that only children are spoiled. Sounds like jealousy.

You met my ex-wife, right?

[Lone Star Performance]

I think at this stage, you're better off not having another child. I am 26 and have a 5 yr old and 2 yr old, been married for a little over 6 years. The wife and I have talked about having a permanent birth control option, and I offered to get snipped, but she was not real excited about that idea. She has an IUD as a 5 yr plan. If we still don't want children again after that, we'll make it permanent.

The age gap may be difficult also. I have 6 brothers ranging from ages 10 to 32, some of us are very close, while others are not. If you just have 2 with that big of an age difference, I believe the chance of them not really "knowing each other" will be greater.

Overall, I think the really difficult part is starting all over again when your daughter has been self sufficient for this long. Having a little one again will be very trying on your marriage, and your daughter will have a feeling of neglect, jealousy for a while. Look forward to enjoying the days with your wife before children. Sleeping in late on the weekends, sitting in front of a fireplace with a blanket on a night like tonight, just loving each other like you used to when you guys were dating!

[slow99]

Explain to her that you want to maintain the population and have 2.09 children to hit the replacement rate level.

[reytx1]

Pics of said wife?

I mean, this is dfwmustangs, is it not?

[CRASH]

Thanks for all of the replies, guys. It gives me something to think about and how I can approach talking to her about it.

And LOL @ the last reply asking for pics. A lot of the guys posting in here have met my wife, so they already know what she looks like. ;-)

[Barbie]

I'm an only child with an only child, but we waited and I was 30 when my daughter was born.

Parenthood is a wonderful thing, but I can't imagine starting over again at this point. Good luck to y'all in figuring things out, but you know there's only one way to resolve this: you've got to talk it out and determine the "why" of things. Until you do that, you're just guessing at each other's positions. And definitely don't try to have that conversation around the kid. It'll just muddy things up.

On a side note, I don't understand where y'all get the "people with siblings are better adjusted" thing. There doesn't seem to be any science to it, just the assumption that only children are spoiled. Sounds like jealousy.

I'm essentially an only child and I'm super selfish. I live in my own bubble. I can share but prefer not to