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I've never been very good at telling my wife how I really feel....

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  • #1

    I've never been very good at telling my wife how I really feel....

    ....about a lot of things. I would really like to have another kid, and she has pretty much all but told me "Hell No".

    We were only dating for about 7 months when I got the news every guy dreads hearing....the ol' "I'm pregnant" story.

    So, we got married on our 1 year anniversary. I turned 21 and 4 days later my little girl was born. I was definitely NOT ready for it. I have never been the kind of guy that drinks or goes to parties, but to say that I wasn't mature enough to have a kid yet was a gross understatement. We have now been married 12 years and together 13.

    Since she has pretty much told me that she is done, I offered to have a vasectomy since she is taking birth control monthly to get her off of the pill and she said, "Well, no, I don't think you should do that just yet." I looked at her like, "Why the fuck not ?!" and that was pretty much the end of that discussion. I'm not sure why she wouldn't want me to get snipped unless she thinks I would run around on her or something.

    Since I was a dad at such an early age, none of my friends had kids, so I never was around other people's kids. My cousin has 3 & 5 year olds, and I really enjoy going to see them and chasing them around the house. I'm at the point in my life where I am much more mature and definitely in a much better situation financially than the first go 'round.

    I'm curious what the board will have to say about this one. I'm sure one day I will regret airing this information about myself, but at this point, what fucking difference does it make ?!

    I'm sure this thread will get derailed quickly with retarded comments, but I would really like some serious insight from some of you guys on what you think and how you would handle the situation.
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  • #2
    Tell her that it's been on your mind and see where she stands. She may have reasons for not wanting another that you haven't thought of.


    Or, hide her birth control and wait a week, then hold on.

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    • #3
      Well, unless your getting married to another chick, looks like you're done. Plus now your kids would be 12 years apart if you had one now. It would be like having two separate lives. They wouldn't relate to each other much. Your wife may be insecure, but she's the only one that knows why you shouldn't get cut unless she's unsure about having another child.

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      • #4
        It's going to be her choice in the end. She can begrudgingly say yes and blame her "body going to hell" on you but ultimately she's going to have to get off the BC to do it. I can't think of much else to say other than be very frank with her and hope she sees your side.
        Originally posted by PGreenCobra
        I can't get over the fact that you get to go live the rest of your life, knowing that someone made a Halloween costume out of you. LMAO!!
        Originally posted by Trip McNeely
        Originally posted by dsrtuckteezy
        dont downshift!!
        Go do a whooly in front of a Peterbilt.

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        • #5
          Need to sit down and have a lengthy convo about it man. You're reaching the age where if you're going to have another it needs to be sooner rather than later. Sounds like she might be having second thoughts now, so it would be a good time to push if your feelings on the subject haven't changed.

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          • #6
            I tend to look for the negatives in things, and this one says to me that she may have other plans and doesn't want you to do anything that may keep you from having another kid in the future.
            "Laws that forbid the carrying of arms...disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes...Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man." - Thomas Jefferson, 1776

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            • #7
              Tell her you want anal and then slip it in the "wrong hole"

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              • #8
                I forgot to mention, my wife is an only child so I assume that has something to do with her only wanting one child.

                I started talking about kids last night at dinner and made the comment to my little girl, "You want a little brother, don't you ?" and she wrinkled up her nose and said, "No".

                Looks like I'm doubly voted off the island.

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                • #9
                  I think kids with siblings are better adjusted, and it also gives then someone to lean on when times can get tough later in life. Only children seem to tend to develop "The World Revolves Around Me Syndrome" more often than not.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by talisman View Post
                    I think kids with siblings are better adjusted, and it also gives then someone to lean on when times can get tough later in life. Only children seem to tend to develop "The World Revolves Around Me Syndrome" more often than not.
                    I agree, but his kids will be too far apart to even grow up together. The oldest will gone to college by the time the youngest is of any age. My bro and I are 9 years apart and we are not that close because of that in my opinion.

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                    • #11
                      Have a kid now and you're chasing diapers in your mid 30's, chasing a toddler at 40, worrying about a teenager in your mid-late 40's and putting a(nother) kid through college in your 50's.
                      Your wife just might be more clear headed than you are about this.

                      Keep your money in your pocket, use it to make a better life for your wife and kid, be happy with what you have.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Shaggin Wagon View Post
                        I agree, but his kids will be too far apart to even grow up together. The oldest will gone to college by the time the youngest is of any age. My bro and I are 9 years apart and we are not that close because of that in my opinion.
                        My brother is 12 years older than me. We are close as hell. I did get the benefit of growing up with nicer things than he did because my parents were much more well off than when he was born. I couldn't imagine a life without him. We've been through a lot of difficult times together. Good luck Aaron.

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                        • #13
                          I say enjoy the niece and nephews and spoil them. At this point you are rounding 3rd and almost home on the first kiddo.

                          We just had our second 7 months ago an my wife is the type that loves being pregnant. I on the other hand hate the pregnancy ups and downs. When she talks about having another, I just see long hard days and nights the first year.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by talisman View Post
                            I think kids with siblings are better adjusted, and it also gives then someone to lean on when times can get tough later in life. Only children seem to tend to develop "The World Revolves Around Me Syndrome" more often than not.
                            I tend to think the same way, Eric.

                            Originally posted by Shaggin Wagon View Post
                            I agree, but his kids will be too far apart to even grow up together. The oldest will gone to college by the time the youngest is of any age. My bro and I are 9 years apart and we are not that close because of that in my opinion.
                            I understand what you mean, Greg. My brother and I are 2 years apart, so we are pretty close.

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                            • #15
                              And after that post, I had to clean out a clothe diaper. Hell no on kid two

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