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I know I have a thread on this somewhere but I really don't care to hunt it down. My dad had surgery to cut cancer off his kidney and they told him it was done. Then a few weeks later they were doing a checkup and found it was back and said he was going to have to have the kidney removed. No big deal, we all get ready for that and he goes in for his final check before the surgery.
They found even more cancer so put off the operation and started talking to him about chemo. It took a couple of weeks for the subtle suggestions of the family to come to his mind as his idea so we're all set. Go in for chemo yesterday and..... Stage 4 cancer, up to his lymph nodes, lungs, kidneys and liver.
Fuck. Just...fuck. Family is crying but I'm not. Sometimes that emotional numbness is a good thing but it feels like something is seriously broken inside. He's feeling good after his first shot of chemo and wearing a mask and gloves to keep germs at a minimum and I'll be there Thanksgiving but ... seriously? His brother has had numerous cancers at various stages and beat them all. His brother's wife died of cancer however and the big C runs big time in my family on my father's side.
At this point, I'm avoiding my SOP of researching every aspect of this and coming at it from an educational viewpoint and have put up so many defense mechanisms it's not even amusing. I spent the better part of the afternoon putting layer after layer of stain and sealer on the bed of my trailer just to have something to do.
They found even more cancer so put off the operation and started talking to him about chemo. It took a couple of weeks for the subtle suggestions of the family to come to his mind as his idea so we're all set. Go in for chemo yesterday and..... Stage 4 cancer, up to his lymph nodes, lungs, kidneys and liver.
Fuck. Just...fuck. Family is crying but I'm not. Sometimes that emotional numbness is a good thing but it feels like something is seriously broken inside. He's feeling good after his first shot of chemo and wearing a mask and gloves to keep germs at a minimum and I'll be there Thanksgiving but ... seriously? His brother has had numerous cancers at various stages and beat them all. His brother's wife died of cancer however and the big C runs big time in my family on my father's side.
At this point, I'm avoiding my SOP of researching every aspect of this and coming at it from an educational viewpoint and have put up so many defense mechanisms it's not even amusing. I spent the better part of the afternoon putting layer after layer of stain and sealer on the bed of my trailer just to have something to do.
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