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"OK, let me start off by saying this Cobra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this hand-built SVT Cobra would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.
This car was engineered by roughneck, crocodile killing, dingo screwing, shrimp on the barbie Fosters drinking brute men to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has over 400+ RWHP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. This snake hisses down the road with it's six speed transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time getting 23MPG. It's saved my bacon more than once.
It has room for you and the three hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $19,500, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. Might earn you a few chuckes from me.
There's only 55,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.
To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.
Modifications include: Magnaflow 3" Cat-Back, UPR o/r X-Pipe, UPR Caster/Camber Plates, Lightning Performance 2.80" Blower Pulley (running approx 14 PSI), DiabloSport Predator handheld tuner with tune for Pulley. BBK Full Cold Air Intake, 18" Chrome Cobra R Wheels with Nitto 555 extreme ZR tires. 265/35ZR18 Front/ 285/35ZR18 Rear.
MGW Fully Adjustable Short Throw Shifter, MGW Billet HVAC Knobs and E-Brake Handle."
Does need a buff or paint work on fron bumper and rear spolier.
It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.
This car was engineered by roughneck, crocodile killing, dingo screwing, shrimp on the barbie Fosters drinking brute men to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has over 400+ RWHP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. This snake hisses down the road with it's six speed transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time getting 23MPG. It's saved my bacon more than once.
It has room for you and the three hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $19,500, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. Might earn you a few chuckes from me.
There's only 55,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.
To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.
Modifications include: Magnaflow 3" Cat-Back, UPR o/r X-Pipe, UPR Caster/Camber Plates, Lightning Performance 2.80" Blower Pulley (running approx 14 PSI), DiabloSport Predator handheld tuner with tune for Pulley. BBK Full Cold Air Intake, 18" Chrome Cobra R Wheels with Nitto 555 extreme ZR tires. 265/35ZR18 Front/ 285/35ZR18 Rear.
MGW Fully Adjustable Short Throw Shifter, MGW Billet HVAC Knobs and E-Brake Handle."
Does need a buff or paint work on fron bumper and rear spolier.
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