10 year old wants to live with the other parent.

[diablo rojo]

I've been her stepfather for 5 years. 2 years ago, her father and stepmother moved from Benbrook to Salt Lake City. She goes up there every summer and every other Christmas/Spring Break.

Now, she's not moving up there.....she's 10 and doesn't dictate. We've all mutually agreed that she's better here as she is excelling academically. The issue is that she really wants to move and is making our life miserable over it.

She's had some issues with friends in recent months......and I'm a self admitted hard ass.

Anybody else dealing with this type of situation?

[Sleeper]

When things get tuff, they think the grass is greener on the other side. Tell her to pull her panties up and get over it.

[OrangeChevyII]

She's 10, Unfortunately is about the age they want to move. My Daughter who is 10, recently moved in with me. It's the best feeling ever knowing her Mom agreed it was the best thing. I even requested no child support to be paid on her end.

There is no stronger bond between a Father and his Daughter.

[Baron Von Crowder]

I moved from my mom's to my dads when I was 10, there was a cort order and restraining order helping that along though.

Sometimes the kids do better when it is thier own choice.

[Sean88gt]

I'm so grateful that my daughters are daddy's girls. We have a very strong relationship which helps overcome the moodiness of girl growing up.

[ELVIS]

I'm so grateful that my daughters are daddy's girls. We have a very strong relationship which helps overcome the moodiness of girl growing up.

plus you have the moodiness in common!

god bless.

[Lason]

Went through this twice with my oldest son so far. I sat him down both times and ran it by him and let him figure out on his own why I say no. I ask him if he was in my shoes what would he do and he eventually comes to the conclusion that living with his mom isn't the best idea. He has gripes with things I do or the way I discipline but when I talk to him like an adult and ask him for his input he starts to understand why I do what I do.

It's tough though hearing your kid saying they want to leave home for their other parent.



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[bcoop]

When my wife and I split, my son wanted to stay with his step mother. And he did for 2-3 months. He needed to know that she was not abandoning him like his real mother did. Once he figured out that she would always be there, he came home. He doesn't like the way I handle things sometimes, but he knows that with his father is where he needs to be.

[Treasure Chest]

What are her reasons for wanting to move?

[diablo rojo]

When things get tuff, they think the grass is greener on the other side. Tell her to pull her panties up and get over it.

This is how I feel. She was acting the same leading up to last summer. Towards the end of the summer, I was in Salt Lake City on business and had dinner with her. She couldn't wait to get back home.

She's using it more as a weapon when we get on to her, but it devastates my wife. She's also the middle of 4, which doesn't help.

[diablo rojo]

What are her reasons for wanting to move?

10 year old reasons:

Says she has "no friends", but has many. She just had a bad blow up with one last month is all.

We make her do chores.....seriously.


She really is a daddy's girl, and he's a good guy. But he agrees 100%, even though he would love to have her up there.

[46Tbird]

She's using it more as a weapon when we get on to her, but it devastates my wife. She's also the middle of 4,which doesn't help.

^THIS is a problem.

I have an uncle that has been dealing with your exact situation. When his stepdaughter was around 12, she starting whining about moving back to Ohio with her loser / alcoholic father, and obviously as responsible parents, they wouldn't let her.

Well she has used that situation as ammo for the past decade+ to put her mother through a guilt trip. To me it seems petty, but it has basically been the focus of this girl's life and she uses it as an excuse to be a worthless scumbag.

Now, I'm sure that some of this bad situation has also come from the way the family has dealt with the stress and tension, but in hindsight they should have probably just let her go to Ohio and let her see for herself what a piece of crap her father is.

Your stepdaughter only being 10 and having a learning disability changes things for sure, but don't completely discount how much turmoil you're putting yourself and your family through by keeping her in Texas. It may be worth it to let her stay with her father for a while. Maybe not now, but in a couple of years.

Thumbs up for being a standup stepfather btw.

[Treasure Chest]

10 year old reasons:

Says she has "no friends", but has many. She just had a bad blow up with one last month is all.

We make her do chores.....seriously.


She really is a daddy's girl, and he's a good guy. But he agrees 100%, even though he would love to have her up there.

I just wanted to make sure it was typical kid crap and not a bigger problem. I did the same stuff growing up, although I was a bit older when I thought I wanted to live with my mom. In hindsight, I'm really glad my grandparents wouldn't allow it.

On the friend blow up side of things, is she being bullied and harassed? This is a pretty critical age and girls start going for blood at this point. The queen bee mentality starts really kicking in, and it can be devastating to her. The only thing I really want to stress is for you guys to not discredit her feelings or blow it off as kids being kids. Keep open communication and really listen to what she's saying. Bullying these days is a lot different with the Internet and social media.

[kirbster]

Your stepdaughter only being 10 and having a learning disability changes things for sure, but don't completely discount how much turmoil you're putting yourself and your family through by keeping her in Texas. It may be worth it to let her stay with her father for a while. Maybe not now, but in a couple of years.

Thumbs up for being a standup stepfather btw.

Agreed on both points. Let her go and she will probably want to come back.

[diablo rojo]

On the friend blow up side of things, is she being bullied and harassed? This is a pretty critical age and girls start going for blood at this point. The queen bee mentality starts really kicking in, and it can be devastating to her. The only thing I really want to stress is for you guys to not discredit her feelings or blow it off as kids being kids. Keep open communication and really listen to what she's saying. Bullying these days is a lot different with the Internet and social media.

The "friend" was always the dominant one in the friendship and has now become her bully.