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  • An ethical question for the board

    (Long read warning...cliffs notes at bottom)

    So I used to work with this guy named Joe (he was my assistant manager) a few months ago...former Marine (non-combat, stationed in Virginia I think), real nice guy, constantly friendly to people, just an all-around seemingly good guy, divorced, fighting to get his kids from his bitch ex-wife. Living with his girlfriend whos parents are LOADED. He finally got a better custody arrangement with his kids, told the boss on a Thursday he needed every other weekend off to go see his kids. Well, come the next Saturday morning, he quits. Says he had to so he could see his kids. During the time I worked with him, he would often speak of his anger management issues, about some of the fucked up things he'd done, etc. The dude would drink 3 32oz Monsters in an 8 hr shift, and go days with no sleep, come to work all manic as fuck. I always suspected he was a few fries short of a happy meal after listening to him storytell, but I just shrugged it off, no big deal, who cares?
    Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, his neighbor (Joe lived in the adjacent apt bldg from me) and I were talking, he mentions how off Joe's been acting lately, like how he signed over all his parental rights to his ex, or like when they were playing X-box, he'd get furiously pissed and start cussing and screaming at the tv, throwing shit across the apt, etc.
    He then procedes to tell me Joe had been bragging about picking up a couple of pistols and a sawed off shotgun....
    My immediate thought was "that's not gonna end well", but I let it go. The more I thought about it, the more I started to want to inform the apt management, and possibly the authorities, that there was an unstable individual with weapons living there...but I didn't.
    Ffw to last Saturday, he and his gf got into a very heated argument (apparently they'd been fighting off/on for months...he never got another job, and was mooching off her, blah blah)...he gets pissed, goes through the apt, rips all the doors off the hinges, punches out the back window, and puts several holes in the walls....
    Then he grabs his .9mm, puts it to her head and pulls the trigger...
    It jams.
    Then, Monday afternoon, they apparently got into it again, she'd finally had enough of his shit, told him he owed her dad a metric shit ton of money, he accused her of being just like his crazy fucked up ex-wife, she tells him fuck you, we're done, I'm gone....then walks back into the apt, and locks him out.
    A few seconds later, she opens the door, says "you want your shoes?", and as she's throwing them out the door, he bum rushes the door, sends her flying back into the apt, goes to the back bedroom, grabs the sawed off shotgun, and blows his brains out......

    The fact that he blew himself to kingdom come isn't what's bothering me.
    My issue is that I KNEW he was unstable, and I KNEW he had weapons. And something in the back of my mind keeps saying I should've done something, call the cops, inform the apt management, something....but who am I to tattle tale on someone about having guns? Regardless of if they're bat shit crazy or not?

    What would the DFWM clan have done?


    CLIFFS: Guy I worked with was bat shit crazy, and blew his brains out. I knew he was unstable and had guns, and thought about getting involved, but didn't.

    Sent from my LGL45C using Tapatalk 2
    "We, the people, are the rightful masters of both congress and the courts - not to overthrow the constitution, but to overthrow men who pervert the constitution." Abraham Lincoln

  • #2
    It will buff out?


    Whether you did or did not say something is not the reason he is dead.


    Dont beat yourself up, this guy sounds like it was only a matter of time anyways. If it is someone you love and care about, go the extra mile and maybe this experience will help you recognize those opportunities, god forbid, if they ever arise again.
    Last edited by Gtracer; 06-17-2013, 02:00 PM.
    Originally posted by Sean88gt
    You can take white off the list. White on anything is the best, including vehicles, women, and the Presidency.
    Originally posted by Baron Von Crowder
    You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler.

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    • #3
      tough spot for you, for sure.

      On one hand, you didnt KNOW the dude was going to do anything, one way or another. On the other hand, you kinda thought maybe something like this could happen.

      I dont know what to tell you man.
      "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

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      • #4
        Just one guy's opinion:


        Did you know about this:
        Then he grabs his .9mm, puts it to her head and pulls the trigger... It jams.
        before he killed himself or find out after?


        Assuming someone is unstable (no sleep, pounding energy drinks, "manic") is one thing; having a pretty good idea (massive rage over things like video games) is yet another... but still a grey area and we could wax philosophic and have moral debates all day long.



        Knowing someone is over the line (the gun-to-head incident) and not doing trying to do something is unacceptable, IMO.

        Comment


        • #5
          Christ man. At least he only hurt himself. I'd be upset if I was you and he hurt someone else. As it is, no, but next time it might be a good idea to just make a concerned call. Bad situation. Don't beat yourself up over it. You really never can tell with any one person what their limit is going to be, and it sounds like he was dead set on this outcome from the start by intentionally making bad decisions.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Strychnine View Post
            Did you know about this:

            before he killed himself or find out after?


            Assuming someone is unstable (no sleep, pounding energy drinks, "manic") is one thing - having a pretty good idea (massive rage over things like video games) is yet another... but still a grey area and we could wax philosophic and have moral debates all day long.



            Knowing someone is over the line (the gun-to-head incident) and not doing anything is absolutely unacceptable, IMO.
            After. But like I said, my immediate thought after hearinv he was bragging about picking up the guns was that it wasn't going to end well....and I was right.

            Sent from my LGL45C using Tapatalk 2
            "We, the people, are the rightful masters of both congress and the courts - not to overthrow the constitution, but to overthrow men who pervert the constitution." Abraham Lincoln

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            • #7
              I don't think any authorities could/would have done anything. Just because you think/know someone is unstable doesn't give the cops a reason to do anything. At least that's been my friend's experience. Her sister is bat shit crazy & threatens her, her kids, & their mom via text & facebook off & on. All the cops will do is put on "on file". Mind you, this is in small town East Tx where the cops know the sister from arrests for domestic violence (shooting at her in-laws with a shotgun) & the subsequent trial & they still won't do shit. They know the bitch is crazy & has weapons, but there's nothing they can do. They told my friend to be sure she has a gun for protection.

              My question is why the damn girlfriend was still around after having a gun shot at her head?? Wha fuck??
              sigpic

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Kimmypie View Post
                I don't think any authorities could/would have done anything. Just because you think/know someone is unstable doesn't give the cops a reason to do anything. At least that's been my friend's experience. Her sister is bat shit crazy & threatens her, her kids, & their mom via text & facebook off & on. All the cops will do is put on "on file". Mind you, this is in small town East Tx where the cops know the sister from arrests for domestic violence (shooting at her in-laws with a shotgun) & the subsequent trial & they still won't do shit. They know the bitch is crazy & has weapons, but there's nothing they can do. They told my friend to be sure she has a gun for protection.

                My question is why the damn girlfriend was still around after having a gun shot at her head?? Wha fuck??
                I wondered that too. Maybe the girlfriend blew his head off and the story was a cover?
                "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." - Henry Ford

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                • #9
                  I really concur that what happened sucks. However, you can't live your life on a 1% chance that someone who is having a bad few weeks is going to blow his/others brains out. I'm going to do my best to not dwell too far into politics, but that's exactly what some people would want you to do though.

                  We all have bad weeks/months/years. Yes, you knew he was a little tweaked - we all know those folks. However, most people over come that one way or another.

                  This ....whatever you want to call it... is no one's fault but his own. IN FACT! What should have happened, is the moment his gun failed when he pulled the trigger on his GF - SHE should have kicked him out and call the police right then and there. Still, it's not HER FAULT either that he is weak.
                  Originally posted by MR EDD
                  U defend him who use's racial slurs like hes drinking water.

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                  • #10
                    Don't beat yourself up, you can not predict the future. Shitty situation and most of the time no one else wants to involved. Hell a lot of the times, the girlfriend, wife, or baby momma, will go down and try everything to get them off, leaving you looking like the bad guy. Small price to pay but officers would have taken his weapons at that point.

                    All the stuff prior to the 9mm incident would not have gotten to much response. Yes we could go talk to him, but some people know the game. One credible witness is all we need for family violence and that sounds like attempted murder.
                    Whos your Daddy?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by asphaltjunkie View Post
                      After. But like I said, my immediate thought after hearinv he was bragging about picking up the guns was that it wasn't going to end well....and I was right.

                      Anyone could make an argument either way, but at that point you do what you need to do.

                      It's sad that he didn't get the help he needed for sure, but without an event like putting his gun to his gf's head to use as evidence when you made whatever phone call you would make who would have reacted quick enough to stop the next turn of events? Apt mgmt? Police? VA? Family?

                      Where were his neighbors, family, etc? His g/f didn't see any of this building and care enough to do anything?


                      Don't let it get to you. You can only be your brother's keeper to a certain extent and you don't need the weight of any of this on you. Make a note for the future and move on.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Strychnine View Post

                        Don't let it get to you. You can only be your brother's keeper to a certain extent and you don't need the weight of any of this on you. Make a note for the future and move on.
                        Couldn't have said it better.
                        Whos your Daddy?

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                        • #13
                          The gf was a doormat, she let him walk all over her and do whatever he wanted.

                          And I'm glad he didn't take anyone with him.

                          Sent from my LGL45C using Tapatalk 2
                          "We, the people, are the rightful masters of both congress and the courts - not to overthrow the constitution, but to overthrow men who pervert the constitution." Abraham Lincoln

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                          • #14
                            Anyone looking for a way out will find one.
                            QuestionableContent-Awesome Webcomic

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                            • #15
                              Fuck him in the neck and live your life. As said before you can't go everyday worrying what some nut job is going to do to themselves.

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