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  • And God Created Texas ...

    Since there's no joke forum...

    God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

    He inquired, "Where have you been?"

    God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

    "It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

    "Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

    God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

    God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

    The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

    "That's Texas , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

    God smiled, "I will create Washington , D.C. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.

  • #2
    God Bless Texas!!

    Comment


    • #3
      Not bad

      Comment


      • #4
        I see your And God Created Texas and raise you...

        TEXTING FOR SENIORS

        Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there

        appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you

        qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.

        Please pass this on to your CHILDREN and Grandchildren so

        they can understand your texts.



        ATD: At The Doctor's

        BFF: Best Friend Fainted

        BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

        BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

        CBM: Covered By Medicare

        CGU: Can't get up

        CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center

        DWI: Driving While Incontinent

        FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

        FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

        FYI: Found Your Insulin

        GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

        GHA: Got Heartburn Again

        HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement

        IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

        LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

        LOL: Living On Lipitor

        LWO: Lawrence Welk's On

        OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

        OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.

        ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up

        TTYL: Talk To You Louder

        WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

        WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

        WTP: Where's The Prunes?

        WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

        GGLKI: (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

        Comment


        • #5
          This exact joke was posted in the joke forum, except it wasn't Texas. God said he made two washingtons. Washington State, which is where Texas is in the joke, and Washington D.C.
          "Any dog under 50lbs is a cat and cats are pointless." - Ron Swanson

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Chili View Post
            God smiled, "I will create Washington , D.C. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.
            After living in TX for 10 years and then in DC/NOVA area for almost 11 years there is no other statement that is as true.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by poopnut2 View Post
              This exact joke was posted in the joke forum, except it wasn't Texas. God said he made two washingtons. Washington State, which is where Texas is in the joke, and Washington D.C.
              What joke forum??

              Isn't Texas more apropos?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Chili View Post
                What joke forum??

                Isn't Texas more apropos?
                Theology forum, guey!
                ZOMBIE REAGAN FOR PRESIDENT 2016!!! heh

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Yale View Post
                  Theology forum, guey!
                  True, some of that stuff does make me giggle.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Greatness! Can't wait to show it to the man of the house who is from Maryland!
                    sigpic

                    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Yale View Post
                      Theology forum, guey!
                      We need a 'like' button.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Smurfette View Post
                        Greatness! Can't wait to show it to the man of the house who is from Maryland!
                        You know how we know you are gay?
                        Wait, maybe that doesn't apply to you... but then again.


                        Stevo
                        Originally posted by SSMAN
                        ...Welcome to the land of "Fuck it". No body cares, and if they do, no body cares.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by stevo View Post
                          You know how we know you are gay?
                          Wait, maybe that doesn't apply to you... but then again.


                          Stevo
                          There are sooo many responses that would get me in deep shit..

                          LOL

                          Think I will behave..for now.








                          Besides..I would like to get laid in the near future
                          Last edited by Smurfette; 01-14-2011, 10:14 PM.
                          sigpic

                          Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Smurfette View Post
                            I would like to get laid in the near future
                            The girl who kicked the hornets' nest.
                            ZOMBIE REAGAN FOR PRESIDENT 2016!!! heh

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Yale View Post
                              The girl who kicked the hornets' nest.
                              Reading that book right now.
                              sigpic

                              Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

                              Comment

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