Favorite Sayings

[krazy kris]

you could fuck up a nagger rock fight

you could fuck up a wet dream and not even be in it

[D3R3K]

A couple ive heard working in a shop. These have been used when a bolt ect. is hard to get out or real tight.

"Tighter than tick pussy"

"Tighter than fish pussy. You know that shits tight, water tight"

[Kimmypie]

I'm fuckin' this cat. You're just holdin' the tail.
*is it just me or are there lots of animals getting fucked & having their tails held??
My step-grandma used to say - Your hind end is full of blue mash - when she thought you were bullshitting her

[90vert]

Wrong tool for the job... "It's like trying to jerk off while wearing boxing gloves"

My older brother's wisest words... "Easy ass makes the world go 'round"

Drank too much and made an ass of yourself..."I woke up with shame on this shoulder and guilt on the other"

"The older I get the better I was"

"Those legs came up and made an ass out of themselves"

After a long day at work.."I'm draggin' with my dick in the dirt"

[CJ-95GT]

"Rubber wheels are always better than rubber heels."

"I'm out like a fat girl playing dodge ball."

[LS1Goat]

Today is a good day to die.

[Rick the Home Inspector]

Shit fire and save the matches!

[71chevellejohn]

When my dad hasn't heard of somebody who's giving an opinion on whatever
"And who the hell is he when he's at home"

[JP135]

Hotter than a two-dollar pistol.
Raining so hard its like a cow pissing on a sidewalk.
Fucked up as a nigger bicycle.
Fine as frog's hair.
Scarce as hen's teeth.
Sweating like the town whore at a tent revival.
So horny the crack of dawn looks good.
Ugly as a mud fence.
If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards.
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Never trust a white man with a mustache or a black man without one.
Drunk as a spider.
Drunk as a waltzing piss-ant.
Graceful as a three-legged elephant on crutches.
Couldn't carry a tune if you gave him a bucket.
Funny as a peg-leg with termites.
Grinning like a mule eating briars.
Chopping tall cotton.
(so bucktoothed) he could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.
So broke I can't even pay attention.
So hungry my belly thinks my throat got cut.
Make hay while the sun shines.
Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.
Happy as a pig in shit.
I'll stomp a prize-winning mud-hole in your ass.
I never saw anything like that and I've been two three county fairs and a hog-callin'
(referring to long dry-spells) I got yearling frogs on my place that don't know how to swim.

Give me ten minutes and I'll remember a few dozen more.

[barronj]

My give-a-shitter gave out

[Jimbo]

Time to piss on the fires and light the tires.

[STRONGNUFF]

My mom always told us when we were growing up when we said,

"mom, we're hungry" and her response " Hungry? Lick some salt then you'll be thirsty too"

[Jonny00GT]

My mom always told us when we were growing up when we said,

"mom, we're hungry" and her response " Hungry? Lick some salt then you'll be thirsty too"

Your Mom was mean! LOL

[papapepper]

Don't talk about it, be about it.

[Cannon88]

Regarding a emrgency run to the crapper:
"My shit/fart separator is on the fritz"

"I've got a turd honkin' and it ain't slowing down."


"G's up, hoes down."