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  • Originally posted by krazy kris View Post
    My grandfather always wants to go fishing, so one day last year I took him up to cabelas to get some tackle. My grandfather can't go 2 minutes without having a smoke break. He tells me just to go get what I need he is going to sit out front. I get done and come outside and I noticed a couple of women walk by and just start gagging. He was sitting on a bench and his nuts were hanging a good 6" out the bottom of his shorts. I immediately start laughing so hard to get everyone's attention. I went over to him and told him granted he is deaf so I had to say it pretty loud. "Your nuts are touching the ground" he then turns bright red and stands up and tries shoving them back up. He can't get them so he reaches down with his cigarette hand and starts burning his sack. He is screaming and yelling I thought I was going to literally die that day from laughing so hard.

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    • Originally posted by aCid View Post
      Rofl!!!! What department does your wife work for?
      She did work for Ft Worth. She quit in 2009 when she got pregnant with our second son.

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      • great thread

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        • Originally posted by krazy kris View Post
          We would both go to jail lol
          Got a 30pack in the fridge ill fire one your way
          Ill have to borrow gopro and bring over a quart of shine. Im sure we would accidentally create a youtube sensation.

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          • Originally posted by stephen4785 View Post
            She did work for Ft Worth. She quit in 2009 when she got pregnant with our second son.
            She just a stay at home mom now?

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            • Mine involves alcohol, an airplane and $5.7mm in cash. I'll post it up tomorrow when I have more time.
              You remember the stories John use to tell us about the the three chinamen playing Fantan? This guy runs up to them and says, "Hey, the world's coming to an end!" and the first one says, "Well, I best go to the mission and pray," and the second one says, "Well, hell, I'm gonna go and buy me a case of Mezcal and six whores," and the third one says "Well, I'm gonna finish the game." I shall finish the game, Doc.

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              • Originally posted by stephen4785 View Post
                Ill have to borrow gopro and bring over a quart of shine. Im sure we would accidentally create a youtube sensation.
                Hellyeah, nothing like a good shine

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                • Originally posted by DieselSmoke View Post
                  Mine involves alcohol, an airplane and $5.7mm in cash. I'll post it up tomorrow when I have more time.
                  I call bullshit!

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                  • Originally posted by aCid View Post
                    I call bullshit!
                    No bullshit, I told Keith (kbscobravert) and few other guys on here this story. Happened in a little place called, Herat Afghanistan.
                    You remember the stories John use to tell us about the the three chinamen playing Fantan? This guy runs up to them and says, "Hey, the world's coming to an end!" and the first one says, "Well, I best go to the mission and pray," and the second one says, "Well, hell, I'm gonna go and buy me a case of Mezcal and six whores," and the third one says "Well, I'm gonna finish the game." I shall finish the game, Doc.

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                    • Originally posted by DieselSmoke View Post
                      No bullshit, I told Keith (kbscobravert) and few other guys on here this story. Happened in a little place called, Herat Afghanistan.
                      Damn man, hurry up and type it out then fucker!

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                      • Originally posted by aCid View Post
                        She just a stay at home mom now?
                        She stays at home with the kids. She's a coach for beachbody(p90x,Insanity,etc...) now and helps out at church when ever she can.

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                        • Originally posted by DieselSmoke View Post
                          No bullshit, I told Keith (kbscobravert) and few other guys on here this story. Happened in a little place called, Herat Afghanistan.
                          It was pretty damn funny.
                          Originally posted by Theodore Roosevelt
                          It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming...

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                          • Then there was that time that I joined a forum and made my name "Jewmadbro", also really embarrassing.

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                            • Originally posted by DieselSmoke View Post
                              Mine involves alcohol, an airplane and $5.7mm in cash. I'll post it up tomorrow when I have more time.
                              It's like a TV channel giving a sneak peak to the next show, except I actually want to see this.
                              Originally posted by Buzzo
                              Some dudes jump out of airplanes, I fuck hookers without condoms.

                              sigpic

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                              • God i'm 50 and there are *so* many moments to choose from.... and quite a few that I won't share here.

                                One day at work I was out walking at lunch. I worked across the street from a major mall and I usually walked thru the mall as part of my route. As i was leaving the mall I felt the need to rip a good one and promptly shit my britches Since I was in the middle of the parking lot there was nothing to do but keep walking with warm diarrhea sloshing around in my pants. I made a beeline for the bathroom when i got back to the office and deposited the shorts in the trash and went commando the rest of the day. Luckily the shorts held and there was no "bleed thru".

                                That day i gained a full understanding of what the old guys mean when they say "never trust a fart".

                                Originally posted by grove rat View Post
                                while getting lunch at subway i started talking shit about brittany spears
                                She actually lives just a few miles from where I live now and i see her from time to time on the news. It's no big deal to the people around here. She seems to have climbed off the nutty wagon.

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