Post up your most embarrassing moments

[R1psycho]

one day I was out cruising in my dads car when I was 16, hitting backroads and acting a fool. I decided for no particular reason to pull the car over, put the car in neutral, set the emergency brake, high rev the motor and drop the car back down into drive. Needless to say the sound of metal pieces exploding wasn't what I expected. So here I was with a broken car with no way of fixing it nor having knowledge to do so about 10 miles from the nearest phone. Cell phones weren't really around unless you were rich and sadly I wasn't. It was a long walk, which gave me plenty of time to come up with a semi decent story, but I was freaking out. My 2 buddies that were with me didn't help matters and thought it was one of the funniest things ever, one still brings it up on occasion. Ended up towing the car home and put on a new u-joint and all was good.....except the car never ran right after

[GE]

3 got to drunk to get it up with a board member

Who?

[fordracing19]

Who?

Brittany 420

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2

[talisman]

Last year when I still had the 99 vert, I was hanging out on the beach in Port Aransas. Upon leaving, I decided to cut across some soft sand. Great idea. When I got stuck, I did the obvious thing-punched the accelerator. About 2 seconds later the rooster tail of sand I threw up came down pretty much entirely in the interior since I had the top dropped. I was still trying to get all that shit out when I sold the car a few months later.

[krazy kris]

Who?

It was Rick Madea he was begging for the Stanley steamer lol just kidding Rick don't go all chakeeta nutcase and ban me, lol.

[Samhain]

This thread needs MS Paint. That thread rocked!

[4bangen]

When I was in high school I had an 86 chevy cavalier 4 door RS. I’d been eye balling this grassy field at the end of my neighborhood as a good place to practice my “MAD RALLY SKILLZ”. So one night after a few drinks, I figured there’s no time like the present! And go tearing off toward it. At the last minute it dawned on me that it had just rained and I was surely about to sink my car and get stuck. So I mashed the brakes and tried to stop short. In true National lampoons fashion I came to a stop right as my front tires left the paved road and dropped into the mud, and I was stuck. My car was 75% still on the road but stuck as shit none the less. I crammed every random object I had in the trunk and back seat and mounded it up under the tires to no avail. I just ended up with a stuck car, and a bunch of muddy shit.
I sat there for a good long while trying to come up with a plan, but couldn’t think of anything. I ended up waking up a guy who lived right there (remember this is in a nice neighborhood) and convincing him I’d taken a wrong turn and was trying to turn around when I got stuck. He was sold on the story and agreed to help. He grabbed his truck and met me at the scene, where he proceeded to laugh so hard he almost fell over when he saw my car. He pulled me out and damn near ripped my back bumper off in the process. I think he did that on purpose.
I bought a truck shortly after and made that field my bitch!

[03DARKSHADOW]

i hooked up with a chick in college and we went back to my dorm after a little bar crawl. We go to town on each other and after awhile i'm about to pop so she hops off and wants me to finish in her mouth. After a few moments, she deep throats me and i blow what feels like a metric ton into the back of her throat.

She didn't swallow, so she gags and chokes on it. She then has a spasm/sneeze and blows cum out of both nostrils like she was an angry bull breaking cumfire. She snaps back up back in shock and tries to breathe, but her mouth looks like she lost a fight with a bottle of elmers glue and white silly silly string.

She gasps for breath, but gags a second time and breathes in her nose - which suck the two snot/cum balls right back in again. Her eyes get wide and she sneezes blowing it all (mouth and nose) into a giant cum mist all over both of us., the bed and the wall

i bolt up out of shock, but shes on my legs and falls off backward onto the floor and bonks her head. Thankfully it didn't knock her out, but shes laying on the floor with one hell of a facial and cum bubbles popping in and out of both nostrils while coughing and crying. I grabbed a washcloth and helped her clean up while she's crying and trying to comfort her. Felt absolyely horrible for her, but wasn't a damn thing i could do. We dated for a few months after that night but she never down on me again.

Tl;dr permenantly ruined oral sex for a cute co/ed

lol!!!

[krazy kris]

This thread needs MS Paint. That thread rocked!

It's already been posted that acid got moon shit painted

[bcoop]

A couple weeks ago, we were drinking at B9. I was talking shit about a buddy's trashy ass trailer park whore of a girlfriend. Said broad has a titty tattoo. I proceeded to talk shit about how trashy a titty tattoo is. Another friend, sitting next to me, had his girlfriend on the other side of him. She had a titty tattoo. My chick was kicking me under the table, as she knew what I was about to say, and I didn't pick up on why she was kicking me. So I powered through like a champ, and kept on making jokes. I don't get embarrassed often, but I was embarrassed by that for some reason.


Not embarrassing, but awkward. I was at a BBQ, sitting at a table with 6 women. One of which was my wife at the time. The conversation turned to sex. I had previously had sex with every woman at the table, but my wife didn't know about it. Prior to that conversation, anyways. Made things awkward for the rest of the night, then at home, and every time after that when we hung out with the same people. Which wasn't often, for obvious reasons.

I had just met who would later become my wife. She met me at a bar, along with Matt and someone else. Matt had the bright idea to take shots of that honey Jaeger shit. I instantly puked all over her, and the booth we were sitting in.

This one is shameful... A friend of mine died. I helped his wife out a lot with the kids, and daily crap she was overwhelmed by. She took my being kind and being a friend the wrong way, I guess. She relentlessly tried to get in my pants. Started texting me dirty pictures, etc. I eventually gave in. Not proud of this one at all. I'm going to hell for a lot of reasons, but this one is definitely near the top of the list. What blows my mind, is the other friends that were relentless about trying to get in her pants, like almost immediately after. I can't judge, because I did what I did. But at least in my case, I wasn't the aggressor.

I messed around with an amputee for a while. Cute girl, nice body but small tits, wore a little too much make up. The embarrassing part was that I did not know she was an amputee until after we had fucked. And I don't mean immediately after the first time, either. I mean it was a solid week or two before I figured it out.

[talisman]

....aaaaand Brent with the slam dunk. Lmfao

[krazy kris]

I messed around with an amputee for a while. Cute girl, nice body but small tits, wore a little too much make up. The embarrassing part was that I did not know she was an amputee until after we had fucked. And I don't mean immediately after the first time, either. I mean it was a solid week or two before I figured it out.

This made me think of Deuce Bigalow when he pulls off her leg, Lmmfao

[Jester]

I messed around with an amputee for a while. Cute girl, nice body but small tits, wore a little too much make up. The embarrassing part was that I did not know she was an amputee until after we had fucked. And I don't mean immediately after the first time, either. I mean it was a solid week or two before I figured it out.

did she amputate her penis?

[VaderTT]

did she amputate her penis?

Post-op.

[bcoop]

did she amputate her penis?

Hand @ forearm, below the elbow. Unlike you, I don't go for people who currently have, or used to have a hang down.