thoughts on this punishment???

[Pokulski-Blatz]

Some kids won't listen or do it as a cry for help. For whatever reason, they decide to rebel whether the parenting is solid or not. I'd be inclined to think there might be some other issue at hand i.e. school bullying, sexual harassment/molestation/abuse, drug usage. Kids don't have the maturity and self-esteem at that age to approach help in what we consider a normal manner. There might be more to it than meets the eye.

Read the article again homie.

[jluv]

Anyone in here that thinks this was a good idea is dead wrong.

This kid suffered a pretty large tragedy and has been acting out since. That is a pretty clear sign the kid needs to talk about it and find a way to work through the loss of a family member. Making them stand with a sign like that in an intersection is only going to compound the problem and drive them deeper into whatever dark place they are in.

You guys need to understand that losing a family member in a combat zone feels much different than losing one to a car accident or cancer. It took a lot for me to learn to live with it, I know my social life and work suffered for a while till I learned to be at piece with it. This is far from your garden variety spoiled ass brat child. This is a kid that has some serious issues.

Taking a hard stance with asshole kids is fine, you just have to be smart and informed before you go to those lengths. If the child is struggling with something, probably the best course of action to not humiliate them and push them to a place they might not ever come back from.

Just my humble point of view.

I disagree. It sucks losing a loved one, but it's no excuse for bad behavior. She lost her uncle two years ago. How long are they supposed to handle her with kid gloves? That's just showing her that she can act out all she wants and it's okay because she went through a tragedy. That's not going to help prepare her for life, which can be cruel as shit. Besides, this punishment was nothing. Your part in bold above makes me shake my head. If something like this has any lasting negative effect on her, then they failed as parents a long time ago. Anyway, did you read the article? Sounds like the kid took it in stride. In have no problem with what they did, other than it seems pretty weak.

[Pokulski-Blatz]

I disagree. It sucks losing a loved one, but it's no excuse for bad behavior. She lost her uncle two years ago. How long are they supposed to handle her with kid gloves? That's just showing her that she can act out all she wants and it's okay because she went through a tragedy. That's not going to help prepare her for life, which can be cruel as shit. Besides, this punishment was nothing. Your part in bold above makes me shake my head. If something like this has any lasting negative effect on her, then they failed as parents a long time ago. Anyway, did you read the article? Sounds like the kid took it in stride. In have no problem with what they did, other than it seems pretty weak.

Never did I say it was an excuse. I said that the kid might need some help that the kid isn't getting now.

I also didn't say the child should be handled with kid gloves, my point is you can't just have a heavy hand. You have to make an informed decision.

Fuck it, I don't really feel like clarifying what I was getting at. It seems we might have a bit of a language barrier. Ill let someone else explain it.

[jdgregory84]

A little humility can go a long way. At some point kids need to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them.

[jluv]

Never did I say it was an excuse. I said that the kid might need some help that the kid isn't getting now.

I also didn't say the child should be handled with kid gloves, my point is you can't just have a heavy hand. You have to make an informed decision.

Fuck it, I don't really feel like clarifying what I was getting at. It seems we might have a bit of a language barrier. Ill let someone else explain it.

LOL. I don't have any problem understanding what you've said. I just disagree with you, and have given my own opinion. Just because I quoted you doesn't mean your words are the only thing I'm addressing with my entire post.

[downshift_me]

Well stop it, you aren't that cool anyways!

My kids have a very fine understanding I'm not their buddy. They know I love them and I will goof off and do fun things, but when it comes to business I mean it. I haven't had to bust their butts in a very long time due to a subtle look can change the entire situation they're in.

[dee]

Every child reacts to certain punishments in varying ways. I feel like it wasn't the wrong thing to do if it worked. Also not sure I buy the trauma of losing the uncle is still affecting the child 2 years down the road a few months maybe. The article had no mention of previous types of disciple to know what all had been tried, if this was the first attempt at any punishment then the parents need to evaluate their standards on how long things should go on unattended.

[Scott Mc]

A little humility can go a long way. At some point kids need to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them.

Like! LOL. Life isn't fair, one of the biggest lessons I learned from my father. I have seen the sign treatment before in person and it seemed to work well. The loss of the family member is tragic but moving forward is the only way. I feel for this family with them just trying to do the right thing but, "life isn't fair, get over it". Seems they all learned some lessons in humility. Also I will add my new favorite line I got from here. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[DON SVO]

Read the article again homie.

She lost a loved one? So she's probably acting out because she's having difficulty expressing her emotions?

Some kids won't listen or do it as a cry for help. For whatever reason, they decide to rebel whether the parenting is solid or not. I'd be inclined to think there might be some other issue at hand i.e. school bullying, sexual harassment/molestation/abuse, drug usage. Kids don't have the maturity and self-esteem at that age to approach help in what we consider a normal manner. There might be more to it than meets the eye.

Sounds like I was spot-on!

[SSMAN]

I find pain gets their attention real quick and shortens the battle.

[bcoop]

I know I'm an asshole. I really am. But a death from two years ago, is no excuse for bad behavior today. That's such a complete cop out, in my honest opinion. No disrespect to anyone, especially Patrick, given his situation.


But if my child was acting out 2 years after the loss of a family member (not even an immediate one, at that), I'd whip his ass and tell him to stop being such a pussy.

[lowthreeohz]

People handle that kind of stress differently, and i agree that the kid should have been offered some sort of grief counseling.

that said, the punishment is nowhere near being out of line. sometimes it takes being shamed and embarrassed into doing something.

[Rreemo]

Apples to oranges. MY kindergartener was the same way.....now she's 14 and her grades are falling. She's very active in church, athletics, FCA, and 3 pre-AP courses. Her focus has just shifted, of course, to boys, phones, makeup, and everything else.....not necessarily in that order. I feel powerless sometimes to combat it, but I'm still trying.

I completely relate to what these parents are dealing with. It's hard to watch them struggle....especially in school, and the entitlement problem is very real. They really do want/expect everything.

Exactly what I was thinking as I was reading it...unless you have gone through the experience of actually raising a teenage girl, you have no idea....just being around them doesn't count. Anyone who thinks otherwise is fooling themselves.

Not saying I totally agree with what these parents did, but I do certainly understand their feelings of desperation. Mine will be 14 in a little over a month, and I do get it...completely get it. It's a balance in today's society, b/c there are too many things fighting against you regardless of how hard you try. My wife and I both were raised (Gen-X) by some hardass Baby-Boomer parents...in my case divorced with one half-crazy and the other an abusive drunk. We've always been conscious and intentional with the way that we raised our daughter, but when they get to this age there are influences that you simply cannot always control....unless you go live in a bubble off the grid. Be too hard-assed on them and they will completely shut you out, be too easy on them and they will run all over you. It is a very tough age for parents, because it is a very tough point in these younger girls lives....I believe much more so than when our generation went through it.

...But, I think there is more to this story too. The people in the story above come across to me as some of those damned bible-thumpers that are likely pushing their daughter away by listening to everything "the church" tells them to do. I mean really....a 13-yr old who isn't allowed to have any modern electronics like even an iPod or basic computer??.... I guarantee that 90% of her friends do. Yeah, keep sheltering her from all of that stuff...so that she'll rebel even more, and then when she is old enough to do things on her own she'll go out and overindulge in everything she can get her hands on. Isn't it ironic how most of those hardcore churchers always seem to end up with the worst kids?

[Binky]

It doesn't matter a fucking bit what someone else thinks.

People seem to have some misconception that they have the right to tell someone else what they think.

Its not their family. I don't care if they think its the best or the worst idea ever - their opinion means exactly the same. Zilch.

My post here doesn't matter as well.