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  • thoughts on this punishment???

    Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

    It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."


    Passing motorists saw the teen, who was standing with her dad at the corner of Ferdon Boulevard and U.S. Highway 90 in Crestview, and snapped pictures of her with their cell phones. Some of the photos ended up on Facebook, where they were shared within the Crestview community (the Nickells said that they have not seen those photos; Yahoo! Shine was not able to find them online). Someone called the police, who showed up to talk to the teen and left after deciding that she was "aware of her punishment and she was not in any harm," Crestview police records show.


    Now, however, the parents are feeling a little public humiliation of their own.

    “I wasn’t even thinking about what the public was going to think,” her mom, Renee Nickell told the Northwest Florida Daily News. “I was thinking about our daughter. It was for her to be in the public and recognize what she had done wrong."

    "We spend so much focus on not wanting to hurt a child's self esteem that we don't do anything," the Nickells said in a statement defending the punishment.

    "Walk a mile in someone's shoes," the statement read. "We must undo at home what the world tries to tell her is better."

    Renee Nickell told the Northwest Florida Daily News that the family has had a hard time since Renee's brother was killed in Afghanistan in December 2011. Her kids were close to him and his family, she explained, even taking vacations together. Since losing her uncle, Renee's 13-year-old has become more defiant at home and at school, and her grades have dropped.

    "We just felt like she just kind of gave up," Renee told the newspaper. The family did not say whether they sought grief counseling for their daughter after her uncle's death, or whether they thought her lack of interest in school was a sign of depression.

    Holding a sign in public wasn't their first choice for punishment. They tried grounding her before, but it didn't help, they explained. They didn't forbid her from attending activities at church, they said, because the activities were supposed to reinforce the Christian values they were struggling to instill in her. They didn't confiscate her electronics because neither she nor their two younger children, ages 2 and 6, have any, they said.

    "We just got to the point where we just didn't know what else to do," Renee told the newspaper. She said that she got the sign idea from a Christian counselor "several years ago," and decided to start with a 90-minute public punishment. The girl's dad stood next to her the whole time.

    "At the end, she gave me a hug in front of the police officer and she told me she was sorry," Gentry said.

    But on Tuesday the Nickells were surprised to find out that their daughter's punishment had gone viral, and were shocked by the anger leveled at them for their parenting choices.

    "It makes me sad to think that this young girl had experienced such a painful loss recently and because she was acting out (as many, if not most young people do for a time) in response to that trauma, she was put on public display for her sins rather than receiving professional help/intervention," commented Katherine Rebecca Newlin. "How would her parents (or any ONE of us!?) feel if they were made to stand on a public corner with any number of THEIR sins plastered all over a sign for the world to see?"

    "Worst parents ever," commented Asa Semaj of San Diego. "No one likes to be humiliated, especially a 13-year-old girl, by her own parents! 13-year-old girls have been know to kill themselves over less than this. The only thing she will learn from this is to hate her family."

    While people are criticizing the Nickells for the punishment, some who saw the "self-entitled" sign say they support the the family.

    "I saw her Saturday morning while running errands, and I thought to myself, great job mom and dad!" Aundy Blocker of Crestview said on Facebook. "Do everything possible to keep your child on the right track! Kudos to you!"

    The Nickells likely meant to call out their kid for being "selfish," "self-centered," or "entitled" ("self-entitled" isn't a word) but even so, their message obviously got through to the teenager. They told the Northwest Florida Daily News that the girl's behavior had improved since Saturday.

    “I asked her, ‘Were you scarred? Traumatized?’" Renee told the newspaper. "She said, ‘No mom, I knew it was coming'."




    i think you gotta do what you have to do, and id rather them do this than nothing, but i personally feel this should have been handled in house and started from an early age. You have to let people in general and kid especially what is expected from them.

    god bless.
    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men -Frederick Douglass

  • #2
    Lack of parenting on their part. Maybe they need to wear signs about being cruddy parents. If you implement rules and expectations early on you tend to not run into this. My kindergartener knows if she gets anything slightly mediocre or one bad behavior mark it's going to be a bad few days. Your kids are a reflection of you which tells me somebody "didn't care" either for a while.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by downshift_me View Post
      Lack of parenting on their part. Maybe they need to wear signs about being cruddy parents. If you implement rules and expectations early on you tend to not run into this. My kindergartener knows if she gets anything slightly mediocre or one bad behavior mark it's going to be a bad few days. Your kids are a reflection of you which tells me somebody "didn't care" either for a while.
      we are on the same page! BRB.....gotta go beat Jr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      god bless.
      It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men -Frederick Douglass

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      • #4
        I am glad they are trying, that's better than a lot of parents. I agree with you too Paul, it is something that should be started from an early age but who knows what's going through a 13 yr old girls head.

        Lets blame Facebook and get it banned.

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        • #5
          If it worked, it's good.

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          • #6
            Teenage girls being vain as they are, would've been a genius punishment twenty years ago. But thanks to cell phones and facebook this may follow her around a long time.
            Big Rooster Racing "Dare to win well."

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by downshift_me View Post
              Lack of parenting on their part. Maybe they need to wear signs about being cruddy parents. If you implement rules and expectations early on you tend to not run into this. My kindergartener knows if she gets anything slightly mediocre or one bad behavior mark it's going to be a bad few days. Your kids are a reflection of you which tells me somebody "didn't care" either for a while.
              Some kids won't listen or do it as a cry for help. For whatever reason, they decide to rebel whether the parenting is solid or not. I'd be inclined to think there might be some other issue at hand i.e. school bullying, sexual harassment/molestation/abuse, drug usage. Kids don't have the maturity and self-esteem at that age to approach help in what we consider a normal manner. There might be more to it than meets the eye.
              Originally posted by PGreenCobra
              I can't get over the fact that you get to go live the rest of your life, knowing that someone made a Halloween costume out of you. LMAO!!
              Originally posted by Trip McNeely
              Originally posted by dsrtuckteezy
              dont downshift!!
              Go do a whooly in front of a Peterbilt.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by downshift_me View Post
                Lack of parenting on their part. Maybe they need to wear signs about being cruddy parents. If you implement rules and expectations early on you tend to not run into this. My kindergartener knows if she gets anything slightly mediocre or one bad behavior mark it's going to be a bad few days. Your kids are a reflection of you which tells me somebody "didn't care" either for a while.
                Apples to oranges. MY kindergartener was the same way.....now she's 14 and her grades are falling. She's very active in church, athletics, FCA, and 3 pre-AP courses. Her focus has just shifted, of course, to boys, phones, makeup, and everything else.....not necessarily in that order. I feel powerless sometimes to combat it, but I'm still trying.

                I completely relate to what these parents are dealing with. It's hard to watch them struggle....especially in school, and the entitlement problem is very real. They really do want/expect everything.

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                • #9
                  I don't see the issue...The child wasn't in any danger, the father was with her the entire time. Thing is, just because it's something we may not do as parents, doesn't make it wrong for them to do it....It's easy to sit back or drive by and say that they are horrible parents, but they are not beating her, tieing her to a chair, or locking her in a closet. They are holding her accountable for her actions and teaching her a lesson how they see fit...
                  "Laws that forbid the carrying of arms...disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes...Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man." - Thomas Jefferson, 1776

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by BlackGT View Post
                    It's easy to sit back or drive by and say that they are horrible parents, but they are not beating her, tieing her to a chair, or locking her in a closet.

                    yeah, but did they at least try these first?

                    god bless.
                    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men -Frederick Douglass

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ELVIS View Post
                      yeah, but did they at least try these first?

                      god bless.
                      They must have if they resorted to this...
                      "Laws that forbid the carrying of arms...disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes...Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man." - Thomas Jefferson, 1776

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                      • #12
                        While I agree with you Don and Devil I've had dealings with kids that age and their friends recently so I was judging that based on my dealings and what I've seen in personal experience. A lot of parents are trying to be their kid's friend these days unlike when I was growing up.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by downshift_me View Post
                          While I agree with you Don and Devil I've had dealings with kids that age and their friends recently so I was judging that based on my dealings and what I've seen in personal experience. A lot of parents are trying to be their kid's friend these days unlike when I was growing up.
                          Well stop it, you aren't that cool anyways!

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                          • #14
                            MOST kids are disrespectful, lazy, and will be freeloading off their parents till they are 30!
                            Good for those parents

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                            • #15
                              Anyone in here that thinks this was a good idea is dead wrong.

                              This kid suffered a pretty large tragedy and has been acting out since. That is a pretty clear sign the kid needs to talk about it and find a way to work through the loss of a family member. Making them stand with a sign like that in an intersection is only going to compound the problem and drive them deeper into whatever dark place they are in.

                              You guys need to understand that losing a family member in a combat zone feels much different than losing one to a car accident or cancer. It took a lot for me to learn to live with it, I know my social life and work suffered for a while till I learned to be at piece with it. This is far from your garden variety spoiled ass brat child. This is a kid that has some serious issues.

                              Taking a hard stance with asshole kids is fine, you just have to be smart and informed before you go to those lengths. If the child is struggling with something, probably the best course of action to not humiliate them and push them to a place they might not ever come back from.

                              Just my humble point of view.

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