police (off duty) harassement - what would you do?

[Binky]

All the more reason to file it. Get the situation out into the open so if there is an explanation, then its known. This could be, might be is just a bunch of rationalization.

If it is a misunderstanding, then the cop learns how to not handle the situation in the future.

[kingjason]

Hmmm I don't know given the story. Did he approach her yelling and screaming or just approach her? Was she on the phone and almost ran into the back of him? Is there a possibility she almost or did tap the back of his car? Maybe he thought she actually hit him?

I got off my Harley one day and had a nice chat with a woman behind me. Told her to hang up her damn phone and watch the road before she killed someone. I was in uniform and on the way home though still in my city. She skidded up to within about three inches of my back tire, mid fucking day, on the phone, head straight up her ass. I was not ugly about it and I did not yell at her but I was pretty pissed.

I know every one wants to say FTP but if the guy really thought she tapped his car then he should have followed her. Maybe he was on the phone with 911 also following her thinking she was trying to get away from him.

If you still feel he was out of line call in on him. Go up and make a written complaint, they do follow up on them. So far though it doesn't sound like a good complaint that will go very far, however it would be documented in case it happens again or has happened before. If it was my wife, the first thing I would have asked her was why she was following so close, and if she was on the phone. It is easy to get caught up in emotion when it is a family member but put your self in his shoes. He was probably just going to ask her WTF and then when he realized she thought he was a crazed psycho path he identified himself as an Officer.

Either way you have to ask yourself if it is worth your time given the information at hand.

[jluv]

Her ABS activated but she is 100% certain that there was space between them. He swerved out of his lane at the last second to avoid the car in front of him which would have put more space between him and my wife behind him.

As for why he would do what he did? That's the whole point. I can't figure it out.

It's pretty obvious. Even if she didn't hit him, he thought she did. That explains everything. Sounds like he wasn't being an asshole at all.

[Strychnine]

Yep. Again, this is just based on what is posted. Surely her adrenaline started pumping when she had to slam on the brakes. Then probably heightened when she noticed him following her. That could have easily distorted the weight of the situation and caused her fear when under other circumstances there would have been none.

Clarify this?


Are you saying that if Leah were driving along by herself (no emergency braking or any other drama), thought someone was following her, she made a last munite highway exit that no one would duplicate unless they were very specifically following her, tailed her all the way to der destination and then blocked her in with his car and got out for a face to face confrontation...

A guy this big:




You're saying that because there was no traffic incident to start it that you would expect her to be completely nonchalant about it and have no fear?

[talisman]

You can get a copy of the 911 call under FOIA, assuming that is who he was on the phone with. Which if he was, then it makes sense that he might have thought she hit him. I may have been over zealous with my initial post, I'm having a bad day and looking to take it out on someone. lol

[Vertnut]

I would let someone know about it. Not necessarily a "complaint", but more of an acknowledgement in case of future harassment. At least speak with his supervisor. If someone had done that to my wife, I would pursue it. I would think at least an apology would be in order. The guy needs a wake-up call. It could really help him in the future.

[Trip McNeely]

Sounds like a guy trying to throw his weight around or else he wouldn't have mentioned he was a cop. File a complaint immediately.

[Chili]

Clarify this?


Are you saying that if Leah were driving along by herself (no emergency braking or any other drama), thought someone was following her, she made a last munite highway exit that no one would duplicate unless they were very specifically following her, tailed her all the way to der destination and then blocked her in with his car and got out for a face to face confrontation...

A guy this big:




You're saying that because there was no traffic incident to start it that you would expect her to be completely nonchalant about it and have no fear?

Not at all, I should have explained that statement better.

I can't see the pic, but what I am saying is that in the heat of the moment many people, myself included, may not be thinking clearly. And what we might see as normal actions on the part of other people, when our adrenaline is not flowing, can be misinterpreted.

I was not trying to say anything negative about your wife at all, and was just suggesting the many people put in the exact same scenario may also see the guys actions as crazy or unwarranted.

[Strychnine]

Don't get me wrong, I understand the "well, what if he thought he was hit" side of it.


There are still more responsible ways of handling this. We were hit in traffic one day around Christmas time (slow speed merging) and the other driver completely knew that she rear ended us and refused to pull over. It was an obvious hit.

Did we follow her to her destination? Did we threaten her?

No, we took a picture of her plate, drove to the PD down the road to make a report, and let our insurance company handle it.

There's a right way and a wrong way to handle things... IMO what he did was completely wrong.

[jluv]

Clarify this?


Are you saying that if Leah were driving along by herself (no emergency braking or any other drama), thought someone was following her, she made a last munite highway exit that no one would duplicate unless they were very specifically following her, tailed her all the way to der destination and then blocked her in with his car and got out for a face to face confrontation...

A guy this big:






You're saying that because there was no traffic incident to start it that you would expect her to be completely nonchalant about it and have no fear?

Whoa. From what I'm reading, it seems like Craig is saying the exact opposite. Since there was a traffic incident, it explains why he followed her. Obviously someone would feel harassed if you take the origin of the whole story out of the equation.

[Chili]

Don't get me wrong, I understand the "well, what if he thought he was hit" side of it.


There are still more responsible ways of handling this. We were hit in traffic one day around Christmas time (slow speed merging) and the other driver completely knew that she rear ended us and refused to pull over. It was an obvious hit.

Did we follow her to her destination? Did we threaten her?

No, we took a picture of her plate, drove to the PD down the road to make a report, and let our insurance company handle it.

There's a right way and a wrong way to handle things... IMO what he did was completely wrong.

Then why seek input? If you and your wife feel that he harassed her or otherwise acted in an inappropriate manner, then go file a report.

[Machx2]

Don't get me wrong, I understand the "well, what if he thought he was hit" side of it.


There are still more responsible ways of handling this. We were hit in traffic one day around Christmas time (slow speed merging) and the other driver completely knew that she rear ended us and refused to pull over. It was an obvious hit.

Did we follow her to her destination? Did we threaten her?

No, we took a picture of her plate, drove to the PD down the road to make a report, and let our insurance company handle it.

There's a right way and a wrong way to handle things... IMO what he did was completely wrong.

It seems you have your mind fixed that he was in the wrong no matter what anyone else says anyhow. Go up to his department and file a complaint then. It isn't that hard, your wife will have to do it, and make sure she doesn't lie on it as there can be penalties for that. Then wait for a call from an investigator.

[jluv]

Don't get me wrong, I understand the "well, what if he thought he was hit" side of it.


There are still more responsible ways of handling this. We were hit in traffic one day around Christmas time (slow speed merging) and the other driver completely knew that she rear ended us and refused to pull over. It was an obvious hit.

Did we follow her to her destination? Did we threaten her?

No, we took a picture of her plate, drove to the PD down the road to make a report, and let our insurance company handle it.

There's a right way and a wrong way to handle things... IMO what he did was completely wrong.

I think most of us would give chase within reason. He's a cop, so he obviously feels comfortable following someone who he believes has committed a crime (hit and run), especially against him. When she did the last minute exit, it just fueled things even more.

It was just a misunderstanding. Either she hit him and doesn't realize it, or he genuinely thought she did and was just mistaken. Either way, it seems like he did what most people would do. When he realized there was no damage, he left, right?

[Kimmypie]

Seems to me if he were on the phone with 911, then he wouldn't have taken off so quickly. It's kind of sketchy that he left when she said she was a CHL holder.

Made me uncomfortable just reading it. I'd file a complaint because there's a number of ways he could have handled it differently. Aren't cops trained to think clearly with adrenaline going?

[talisman]

Matt, I understand the primal instinct to protect your wife, but honestly I don't think the guy probably had ill intentions. maybe you should report it anyway just to cover your bases and make sure it's copacetic; if it is, no harm no foul. They were possibly both reacting in the heat of the moment to different aspects of the same situation and seeing things completely differently from each other. When that happens it can end up bad for both parties, though neither is really to blame.