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  • Bob sounds like a genius!



    Security audit finds dev OUTSOURCED his JOB to China to goof off at work

    Cunning scheme netted him 'best in company' awards
    By Iain Thomson in San Francisco

    Posted in Business, 16th January 2013 01:29 GMT

    A security audit of a US critical infrastructure company last year revealed that its star developer had outsourced his own job to a Chinese subcontractor and was spending all his work time playing around on the internet.

    The firm's telecommunications supplier Verizon was called in after the company set up a basic VPN system with two-factor authentication so staff could work at home. The VPN traffic logs showed a regular series of logins to the company's main server from Shenyang, China, using the credentials of the firm's top programmer, "Bob".


    "The company's IT personnel were sure that the issue had to do with some kind of zero day malware that was able to initiate VPN connections from Bob's desktop workstation via external proxy and then route that VPN traffic to China, only to be routed back to their concentrator," said Verizon. "Yes, it is a bit of a convoluted theory, and like most convoluted theories, an incorrect one."

    After getting permission to study Bob's computer habits, Verizon investigators found that he had hired a software consultancy in Shenyang to do his programming work for him, and had FedExed them his two-factor authentication token so they could log into his account. He was paying them a fifth of his six-figure salary to do the work and spent the rest of his time on other activities.

    The analysis of his workstation found hundreds of PDF invoices from the Chinese contractors and determined that Bob's typical work day consisted of:

    9:00 a.m. – Arrive and surf Reddit for a couple of hours. Watch cat videos

    11:30 a.m. – Take lunch

    1:00 p.m. – Ebay time

    2:00-ish p.m – Facebook updates, LinkedIn

    4:30 p.m. – End-of-day update e-mail to management

    5:00 p.m. – Go home

    The scheme worked very well for Bob. In his performance assessments by the firm's human resources department, he was the firm's top coder for many quarters and was considered expert in C, C++, Perl, Java, Ruby, PHP, and Python.

    Further investigation found that the enterprising Bob had actually taken jobs with other firms and had outsourced that work too, netting him hundreds of thousands of dollars in profit as well as lots of time to hang around on internet messaging boards and checking out the latest Detective Mittens video.

    Bob is no longer employed by the firm. ®

  • #2
    Not a shabby plan

    Comment


    • #3
      Sounds like something from The Onion. That guy is my hero.

      Comment


      • #4
        I love the Register

        Comment


        • #5
          ever read something and say to yourself, "why the fuck didn't I think of that?!"?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Sergio View Post
            ever read something and say to yourself, "why the fuck didn't I think of that?!"?
            + a bazillion.
            Good judgment comes from bad decisions and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Sergio View Post
              ever read something and say to yourself, "why the fuck didn't I think of that?!"?
              Yes, indeed.

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              • #8
                He should get a promotion and be in charge of subcontracts. Great job Bob!
                Fuck you. We're going to Costco.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Brilliant!
                  Originally posted by BradM
                  But, just like condoms and women's rights, I don't believe in them.
                  Originally posted by Leah
                  In other news: Brent's meat melts in your mouth.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    This is a new level of entrepreneurship!

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by kbscobravert View Post
                      He should get a promotion and be in charge of subcontracts. Great job Bob!
                      That's what I was thinking. This guy has upper management written all over him. He obviously takes delegation to a whole new level!

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                      • #12
                        Bob is my idol.

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                        • #13
                          Why fire the guy? Fire the other programmers and keep this guy doing what he does.

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                          • #14
                            Not sure they should fire him... I mean c'mon, you are paying for a product... an end result. If you were happy paying him what he was making, and happy with the work he was turning in, what's the difference? I assume they fired all the managers too? It would basically be the same thing.
                            Originally posted by stevo
                            Not a good idea to go Tim 'The Toolman' Taylor on the power phallus.

                            Stevo

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by bird_dog0347 View Post
                              Not sure they should fire him... I mean c'mon, you are paying for a product... an end result. If you were happy paying him what he was making, and happy with the work he was turning in, what's the difference? I assume they fired all the managers too? It would basically be the same thing.
                              They will can him because he is smarter than they are. Knowing upper management mother fuckers; he embarrassed them.
                              Fuck you. We're going to Costco.

                              Comment

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