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Soldier flips out at school

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  • Soldier flips out at school

    COSTA MESA, CA - One life has ended and another’s academic future is on life support after a tragic day at Orange County Community College in Southern California. The incident took place during a discussion of PTSD in a psychology class when one student decided to share his struggles as a war veteran.

    “After I told the class I was an Iraq vet, they were all mesmerized,” said John Kemp, a former Army Sergeant. “I went from that weird 27 year old Freshman in the back of the class who doesn’t speak to anyone to a war hero everyone wanted to talk to.”

    Unfortunately, one student’s admiration went too far when he delved into the personal tragedies suffered by Kemp.

    “He asked me if I had ever killed anyone,” said Kemp. “I don’t know what happened. I just snapped. After being asked that question for the millionth time, I couldn’t take it any more so I sort of beat him to death. Why am I not in jail yet?”

    Captain Tim Babel, spokesman for the Costa Mesa Police Department, announced yesterday that all charges would be dropped on the condition that Kemp completes a VA sponsored anger-management program for returning veterans.

    “It can be stressful as a student veteran,” recalls Babel, who also served in the Army. “I was in his same position once. I almost beat up a douche bag Frat guy who told me pledge week was just like basic training because they made him do push ups and yelled at him a lot.”

    Kemp insists he doesn’t have anger issues. He cites his job as a supply Sergeant and complete lack of combat experience as proof he doesn’t have PTSD.

    “I murdered someone!” said a distraught Kemp. “Why is nobody taking this seriously? Just because you serve in a war doesn’t mean you’re messed up and deserve special treatment. I even tried to turn myself in but the police told me it was cool, thanked me for my service and gave me a lollipop.”

    School officials are taking a slightly harder stance. Kemp has been placed on academic probation and must participate in three student veteran conferences where he will answer questions from fellow students about his war service.

    “It was a tough decision to make,” said OCC President Sara Jacobson. “Even after all of Mr. Kemp’s horrific experiences overseas, we feel he still has great potential as a human being. However, we cannot set a precedent of allowing student murder, so some punishment must be conferred.”

    Kemp has decided to stop speaking altogether during class.

    “I think it’s best if I just keep quiet. When they find out, I’m either a hero, mentally unstable or both. I can’t be just some dude who went to war.”

    “If there is a bright side to this,” Kemp chuckles. “I did get my first confirmed kill.”

    Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/01/ve...#ixzz2HA1KNWML
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    I wear a Fez. Fez-es are cool

  • #2
    LMAO! Wait, is it wrong to laugh at that?
    Originally posted by Broncojohnny
    HOORAY ME and FUCK YOU!

    Comment


    • #3
      You sure you did not pull this from the onion?
      It sounds like something that came from the onion.
      I don't like Republicans, but I really FUCKING hate Democrats.


      Sex with an Asian woman is great, but 30 minutes later you're horny again.

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      • #4
        You realize that is the military version of The Onion, right?

        Stop posting everything and anything - your filter is so fucked up you can't even tell the difference between real and fake.

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        • #5
          I'm certain Frost knows it's a joke..

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Jedi View Post
            You realize that is the military version of The Onion, right?

            Stop posting everything and anything - your filter is so fucked up you can't even tell the difference between real and fake.
            What? Are you implying that The Onion isn't real?
            Originally posted by Broncojohnny
            HOORAY ME and FUCK YOU!

            Comment


            • #7
              Wait, this isn't real?
              I wear a Fez. Fez-es are cool

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Jedi View Post
                You realize that is the military version of The Onion, right?

                Stop posting everything and anything - your filter is so fucked up you can't even tell the difference between real and fake.
                Just clicked the link, and now it all makes sense.
                I don't like Republicans, but I really FUCKING hate Democrats.


                Sex with an Asian woman is great, but 30 minutes later you're horny again.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I bet he won't be asking dumb questions anymore

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Even with this being fake it just raises a question. Has PTSD always been as prevalent as it is now? Pre-Vietnam I haven't really heard anything about PTSD. I don't come from a military family so maybe that's why.
                    "Any dog under 50lbs is a cat and cats are pointless." - Ron Swanson

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by jdgregory84 View Post
                      Even with this being fake it just raises a question. Has PTSD always been as prevalent as it is now? Pre-Vietnam I haven't really heard anything about PTSD. I don't come from a military family so maybe that's why.
                      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttra...rliest_reports
                      Originally posted by Broncojohnny
                      HOORAY ME and FUCK YOU!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by jdgregory84 View Post
                        Even with this being fake it just raises a question. Has PTSD always been as prevalent as it is now? Pre-Vietnam I haven't really heard anything about PTSD. I don't come from a military family so maybe that's why.
                        The sad thing about this fauxrticle is that my ex--who never once saw combat--is trying to get disability because of PTSD....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Treasure Chest View Post
                          The sad thing about this fauxrticle is that my ex--who never once saw combat--is trying to get disability because of PTSD....
                          The AW2 program is overloaded with soldiers and they asked me to walk a soldier through the VA. That's cool with me and I love doing it, but the guy was a dude who never left CONUS and was trying the same. Hell, they are trying to get PTSD to equal a purple heart
                          I wear a Fez. Fez-es are cool

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Forever_frost View Post
                            The AW2 program is overloaded with soldiers and they asked me to walk a soldier through the VA. That's cool with me and I love doing it, but the guy was a dude who never left CONUS and was trying the same. Hell, they are trying to get PTSD to equal a purple heart
                            My dad has PTSD hell he acts like nothing happened.The only reason he gets a "check" is because hes retired not because of PTSD.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Forever_frost View Post
                              The AW2 program is overloaded with soldiers and they asked me to walk a soldier through the VA. That's cool with me and I love doing it, but the guy was a dude who never left CONUS and was trying the same. Hell, they are trying to get PTSD to equal a purple heart

                              Paul claims that boot camp was so traumatic that he now has PTSD.

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