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Screw you we're from Texas

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  • Screw you we're from Texas

    A forwarded email about our great state.


    Only in Texas
    Love the sun?
    Sun City, Texas 78628
    Sunrise, Texas 76661
    Sunset, Texas 76270
    Sundown, Texas 79372
    Sunray, Texas 79086
    Sunny Side, Texas 77423

    Want something to eat?
    Bacon, Texas 76301
    Noodle, Texas 79536
    Oatmeal, Texas 78605
    Turkey, Texas 79261
    Trout, Texas 75789
    Sugar Land, Texas 77479
    Salty, Texas 76567
    Rice, Texas 75155
    Pearland, Texas 77581
    Orange, Texas 77630
    And top it off with:
    Sweetwater , Texas 79556

    Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
    Detroit, Texas 75436
    Cleveland, Texas 75436
    Colorado City, Texas 79512
    Denver City, Texas 79323
    Klondike, Texas 75448
    Pittsburg , Texas 75686
    Newark , Texas 76071
    Nevada , Texas 75173
    Memphis , Texas 79245
    Miami , Texas 79059
    Boston, Texas 75570
    Santa Fe, Texas 77517
    Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
    Reno, Texas 75462
    Pasadena, Texas 77506
    Columbus, Texas 78934
    Just Texas
    Pep , Texas 79353
    Smiley , Texas 78159
    Paradise , Texas 76073
    Rainbow , Texas 76077
    Sweet Home , Texas 77987
    Comfort , Texas 78013
    Friendship, Texas 76530

    Feel like traveling outside the country?
    Athens , Texas 75751
    Canadian, Texas 79014
    China , Texas 77613
    Dublin , Texas 76446
    Egypt, Texas 77436
    Ireland, Texas 76538
    Italy, Texas 76538
    Turkey, Texas 79261
    London, Texas 76854
    New London, Texas 75682
    Paris, Texas 75460
    Palestine, Texas 75801

    No need to travel to Washington DC
    Whitehouse , Texas 75791

    We even have a city named after our planet!
    Earth , Texas 79031

    We have a city named after our state:
    Texas City , Texas 77590

    Exhausted?
    Energy , Texas 76452

    Cold?
    Blanket , Texas 76432
    Winters, Texas 79567

    Like to read about History?
    Santa Anna , Texas 76878
    Goliad , Texas 77963
    Alamo , Texas 78516
    Gun Barrel City , Texas 75156
    Robert Lee , Texas 76945

    Need Office Supplies?
    Staples, Texas 78670

    Want to go into outer space?
    Venus , Texas 76084
    Mars , Texas 79062

    You guessed it. It's on the state line.
    Texline , Texas 79087

    For the kids...
    Kermit, Texas 79745
    Elmo, Texas 75118
    Nemo, Texas 76070
    Tarzan, Texas 79783
    Winnie, Texas 77665
    Sylvester, Texas 79560

    Other city names in Texas, to make you smile......
    Frognot, Texas 75424
    Bigfoot, Texas 78005
    Hogeye, Texas 75423
    Cactus, Texas 79013
    Notrees, Texas 79759
    Best, Texas 76932
    Veribest, Texas 76886
    Kickapoo, Texas 75763
    Dime Box, Texas 77853
    Old Dime Box, Texas 77853
    Telephone, Texas 75488
    Telegraph, Texas 76883
    Whiteface, Texas 79379
    Twitty, Texas 79079

    The Anti-Al Gore City
    Kilgore, Texas 75662

    And our favorites...
    Cut and Shoot, Texas 77303
    Gun Barrel City , Texas 75147
    Ding Dong, Texas
    West, Texas (it's in Central Texas )
    and of course...
    Muleshoe , Texas 79347
    Farwell, Texas 79325
    Lariat, Texas
    West Camp, Texas

    Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas

    If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas;

    If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;

    If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;

    If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

    If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

    If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;

    If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas;

    If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas;

    If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80, and everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas;

    If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas;

    If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely have lived in Texas.

    Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas :
    Beaumont to El Paso: 742 miles - Beaumont to Chicago: 770 miles
    El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas
    World's first rodeo was in Pecos , July 4, 1883.
    The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. Destroyed by Hurricane Ike - 2008!
    The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston , Texas .
    Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America 's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.
    Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.


    The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was " Houston ," but the Space Center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time.
    King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island.
    Tropical Storm Claudette brought a US rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979.
    A live oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
    Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
    Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.
    Texas has had six capital cities: Washington-on-the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston , Velasco, West Columbia, and Austin .
    The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the US which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington , DC .... by 7 feet.
    The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in the world and it is taller than the Washington Monument . The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning "friends." Tejas is not Spanish for Texas .
    The State Mascot is the armadillo. An interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies.
    Females have only one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.
    The first domed stadium in the US was the Astrodome in Houston .

  • #2
    I laughed at judging distance in hours. That's how I do it

    Comment


    • #3
      That's how all of us do it. That's part of the joke.

      Comment


      • #4
        You forgot about Cool, Texas 76066

        Comment


        • #5
          How did they not work Glasscock county into that? Dildo capitol of the world.

          Comment


          • #6
            other facts about Texas I usually tell people

            * Texas boasts the nation's largest herd of whitetail deer.
            * Sam Houston, arguably the most famous Texan, was actually from Tennessee and not a native Texan
            * The first suspension bridge in the U.S. was in Waco crossing over the Brazos.
            * The hamburger was created in Texas....although there is debate on where/when the hamburger was invented.
            * D/FW airport is bigger in square miles than Manhattan island in New york.
            * The Oscar statue given to actors is named after a Texan
            * Texas is bigger than every COUNTRY in Europe...Texas would be in the top 50 biggest countries in the world if Texas was a stand alone country.
            * Texas has a county 3x the size the state of Delaware
            sigpic

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            • #7
              no spot to put Valentine , TX.

              Comment


              • #8
                Pretty cool stuff in here
                Originally posted by Nash B.
                Damn, man. Sorry to hear that. If it'll cheer you up, Geor swallows. And even if it doesn't cheer you up, it cheers him up.

                Comment


                • #9
                  The "Beaumont to Chicago" bit is false, I think he meant Illinois???
                  Originally posted by PGreenCobra
                  I can't get over the fact that you get to go live the rest of your life, knowing that someone made a Halloween costume out of you. LMAO!!
                  Originally posted by Trip McNeely
                  Originally posted by dsrtuckteezy
                  dont downshift!!
                  Go do a whooly in front of a Peterbilt.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Craizie View Post
                    That's how all of us do it. That's part of the joke.
                    Lol, i don't charge mileage for road calls, I charge per hour
                    http://www.truthcontest.com/entries/...iversal-truth/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I thought this was going to be about Ray Wiley Hubbard.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        snake farm...
                        it just sounds nasty

                        god bless.
                        It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men -Frederick Douglass

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ELVIS View Post
                          snake farm...
                          it just sounds nasty

                          god bless.
                          pretty much is..

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                          • #14
                            I can't believe Happy, Tx. Was left off the list

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by DON SVO View Post
                              The "Beaumont to Chicago" bit is false, I think he meant Illinois???
                              Yeah, even a straight line would be ~1000 miles.

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