Tell me about Joint Custody

[SEB]

That reasoning is completely selfish Seb, there can be plenty of structure with joint custody. It sounds to me like you and the mother just don't want to have to deal with having your own lives affected, at the child's expense.

Put yourself in the father's shoes. How pissed would you be knowing that you and your child are missing out on valuable time together, just because it's inconvenient for the other parent.

I understand how you could see it from that point of view. But actually not the case, More of the fact we are having a new baby & worried about the oldest feeling neglected & the ex has expressed he thought that the son would prefer living with him since we have such a big family.

Thus why we want to get a idea of milage limtations of joint custody to avoid him wanting to obtain primary custody & the ex is highly involved in the political side of Rockwall & worry about not being in reach of his powers

[Treasure Chest]

Sorry to burst your bubble, it doesn't matter if you're 500 miles away, if the child is 12 and the father petitions for domicile, the court will take the kid's wishes into consideration. Rather than shooting yourself in the foot and losing domicile and the tax benefits you currently enjoy from it, you may want to consider not being a dick about a dad that wants more involvement in his child's day to day life.

[SEB]

Sorry to burst your bubble, it doesn't matter if you're 500 miles away, if the child is 12 and the father petitions for domicile, the court will take the kid's wishes into consideration. Rather than shooting yourself in the foot and losing domicile and the tax benefits you currently enjoy from it, you may want to consider not being a dick about a dad that wants more involvement in his child's day to day life.

I think Im being misunderstood,

1. They already have joint Custody actually with the mother having primary & also the tax benfit you speak of she does not benfit from as they both claim one child each. He claims one son & she claim the other. So far from the motive you speak of

2. My point of the thread is he is underhanded. Guy is a great father. But is motivated when it comes to money. He still lives in the house they built together & kept all the assets from his 3 business's & left her without her ever know she was being divorced till she found out through a friend at the court house. He is not a trustworthy person when it comes to playing on a fair playing field.

We are thinking about moving to Rockwall as its closer to my property & would allow me to further my business on a bigger level as I am getting alot of work mowing pastures & I need to work off my property as I cant run trailers & tractors out of a neighborhood & Rockwall is alot closer then Rowlett.

Our concern is we will be opening up a can of worms & shooting ourselfs in the foot if we move to Rockwall as it will put us in less then 10 miles from where he lives which will provide opprunitity for him to obtain primary custody in Rockwall County if the oldest who is actually 10 to go live with his father full time. I would like to keep my family together & all under one roof & for her oldest to have a relationship with his new baby brother.

If we stay in Garland then I wouldnt be posting this thread & there wouldnt be a issue

[bcoop]

All she is saying, is look at the situation from the reverse. What if some other guy was doing the same, not wanting you involved with your daughter? I'd imagine you'd be pretty pissed.


Whether he is underhanded or not doesn't matter. If he's a good Dad, that's the only thing that matters. You're not going to find the answer you are looking for. Geographical location doesn't matter. He could go get 50/50 custody right now if he has the money to spend. Moving closer is only going to antagonize the situation.

If it was me, I would absolutely use my ex moving closer as another reason to see my kid more. And we even get along great. But all bets are off when it comes to my kid and what is fair.

[SEB]

All she is saying, is look at the situation from the reverse. What if some other guy was doing the same, not wanting you involved with your daughter? I'd imagine you'd be pretty pissed.


Whether he is underhanded or not doesn't matter. If he's a good Dad, that's the only thing that matters. You're not going to find the answer you are looking for. Geographical location doesn't matter. He could go get 50/50 custody right now if he has the money to spend. Moving closer is only going to antagonize the situation.

If it was me, I would absolutely use my ex moving closer as another reason to see my kid more. And we even get along great. But all bets are off when it comes to my kid and what is fair.

He is not even aware of us moving or considering the option of moving closer to him. I am trying to be proactive in avoiding the issue of losing primary custody with the oldest as you stated it would antagonize the situation & provide the opportunity for him to create a problem provided we moved closer. The setup they have now is not broken & both parties are content with the current agreement.

I am not looking for any specific answer, I am asking would us moving in the same city as him open up doors for him to change the current agreement. Her nor I have any motive in this. Just trying to avoid a possbile future problem down the road & why we are considering staying in Dallas county on the Rowlett side. My only motive in this is to keep the routine & strucutre that has been consistant and not to rock the boat & have anything change with the current arrangement

[jewozzy]

I think Im being misunderstood,

1. They already have joint Custody actually with the mother having primary & also the tax benfit you speak of she does not benfit from as they both claim one child each. He claims one son & she claim the other. So far from the motive you speak of

2. My point of the thread is he is underhanded. Guy is a great father. But is motivated when it comes to money. He still lives in the house they built together & kept all the assets from his 3 business's & left her without her ever know she was being divorced till she found out through a friend at the court house. He is not a trustworthy person when it comes to playing on a fair playing field.

We are thinking about moving to Rockwall as its closer to my property & would allow me to further my business on a bigger level as I am getting alot of work mowing pastures & I need to work off my property as I cant run trailers & tractors out of a neighborhood & Rockwall is alot closer then Rowlett.

Our concern is we will be opening up a can of worms & shooting ourselfs in the foot if we move to Rockwall as it will put us in less then 10 miles from where he lives which will provide opprunitity for him to obtain primary custody in Rockwall County if the oldest who is actually 10 to go live with his father full time. I would like to keep my family together & all under one roof & for her oldest to have a relationship with his new baby brother.

If we stay in Garland then I wouldnt be posting this thread & there wouldnt be a issue

couldn't the same be said for him? That he wants HIS family under one roof?

[SEB]

couldn't the same be said for him? That he wants HIS family under one roof?

He did have his family under one roof, He left the mother of his 2 year old son & 5 year old son for his wifes best friend & then kept the house & all the assets, She recieved a $2500 motorcycle which she didnt even know how to ride & gave her $4000 for the equity they had in the house

[bcoop]

He did have his family under one roof, He left the mother of his 2 year old son & 5 year old son for his wifes best friend & then kept the house & all the assets, She recieved a $2500 motorcycle which she didnt even know how to ride & gave her $4000 for the equity they had in the house

1.). She should have had a better attorney.

2.) A man divorcing or leaving his wife has no bearing on his ability to be a father. Also, Sebastian, just remember there are three sides to every story, and you're only getting one of them.

[Chili]

Just to clarify on the age thing, and deciding who they live with.. While a child at 12 / 13 whatever can give input to the judge on who they would like to live with (usually in chambers, not in open court) that does not mean the judge must (or will) go along with it. And it does require a modification to the parent / child relationship to legally make that change.

[silverranger]

I am fighting this battle, I got the 1st 3rd and 5th, every Thursday. To me that is not enough time 10-6 sat and sun My ex WILL not let me get my nine month old any time other than what the court said. It amazes me that a dad that wants to spend time with his kid cannot because of her being selfish. So back to court I will go, anyone have anymore good advice, how hard will it be to get this with him so young? My attorney says it will be drawn out but said it is worth a shot.

[Leah]

The courts will listen to a child, but does not make their final decision on that alone. We went through this when my son was 12 and the judge said there is no age that allows the child to make the determination but they can be heard. It depends on the maturity of the child and the conditions of the case.

[Treasure Chest]

The terms and method of the divorce are inconsequential in regard to this argument. Hard feelings against the other parent have no place in a child custody dispute. The center of the agreement should be the child. It is a proven fact that children who are allowed a great deal of time with both parents (who are responsible and put their children first) fair much better than their dysfunctional counterparts.

This being said, I've been in your woman's shoes. I was married to a selfish prick who happened to be one of the best fathers I could ever ask for. I've set aside much anger and frustration with him because of the outstanding skills as a father. Unfortunately, he has allowed his fiancé to sabotage his relationship with his children. Rather than being a 50-50 parent to his children, he's now a father when it's convenient to him, and the kids suffer.

Take his interest in being a father as a gift to your stepchildren and put the kids first.

[bcoop]

I am fighting this battle, I got the 1st 3rd and 5th, every Thursday. To me that is not enough time 10-6 sat and sun My ex WILL not let me get my nine month old any time other than what the court said. It amazes me that a dad that wants to spend time with his kid cannot because of her being selfish. So back to court I will go, anyone have anymore good advice, how hard will it be to get this with him so young? My attorney says it will be drawn out but said it is worth a shot.

For the record, drawn out = $$$$$$$$. Buy a recording device. Record every conversation you have. Keep your cool, as this will become future evidence. Try to get her as much as you can. If she says no, that's fine, you now have record of it. Any time she denies you access to the child during your allotted time, record it. When you do have the child, don't go out, get a babysitter, etc. Spend every minute of that time with the child that you can. Don't do anything stupid that she can use against you. Pay your child support. Bring it current if you are behind. Provide medical insurance, if it's stated in the papers. You are having to prove your competence even though you may have done nothing wrong. That's just not how the state looks at it. And save every penny you can for your upcoming legal bills.


At that age, it's not impossible, but it's going to be really hard to get more time than you already have. Really hard also translates to really expensive. But the longer the schedule is like it is, the harder it will be to get the custody agreement adjusted. It's a double edged sword.

[Dave586]

I am fighting this battle, I got the 1st 3rd and 5th, every Thursday. To me that is not enough time 10-6 sat and sun My ex WILL not let me get my nine month old any time other than what the court said. It amazes me that a dad that wants to spend time with his kid cannot because of her being selfish. So back to court I will go, anyone have anymore good advice, how hard will it be to get this with him so young? My attorney says it will be drawn out but said it is worth a shot.

You sir are lucky you didn't get supervised visitations - which is normal for a child under 3. There will come a time that your EX will need you to be flexible with the arrangments - at that point tell her NO - as she is doing to you.

[silverranger]

For the record, drawn out = $$$$$$$$. Buy a recording device. Record every conversation you have. Keep your cool, as this will become future evidence. Try to get her as much as you can. If she says no, that's fine, you now have record of it. Any time she denies you access to the child during your allotted time, record it. When you do have the child, don't go out, get a babysitter, etc. Spend every minute of that time with the child that you can. Don't do anything stupid that she can use against you. Pay your child support. Bring it current if you are behind. Provide medical insurance, if it's stated in the papers. You are having to prove your competence even though you may have done nothing wrong. That's just not how the state looks at it. And save every penny you can for your upcoming legal bills.


At that age, it's not impossible, but it's going to be really hard to get more time than you already have. Really hard also translates to really expensive. But the longer the schedule is like it is, the harder it will be to get the custody agreement adjusted. It's a double edged sword.

By the way I appreciate your help in my other thread
When I get him on Thursday I go to a friends house because I live 20 plus miles and do not want to take any time away from playing with him. What she does not get is he is my life, I will always be there for him. I make sure to be on time and drop off on time. We went to court about 2 months ago, they set child support at xxxx amount. the AG has not taken it out of my check yet. Being the nice guy that I am I have been paying here anyway, I was told I am stupid because she is going to get that money. Is the AG going to take a little more out of my checks because they are taking so long? I was told to only buy stuff he needs ie diapers, formula, clothes, etc but do not give her money. She is a good mom but when she gets in these moods it sucks for me because I can not stand to be away from my boy.

That is what I heard if I wait to long the judge will more than likely not change anything. I am willing to spend more $ again (haha) just to see him more. I really want overnights it sucks only getting him 8 hours a day, at the time she was breastfeeding. Well as soon as court was over bam formula.

I don"t want to be a dick but I am thinking about going to court before Christmas. I just don"t want to wait to long.