You drink a lot because you're super smart

[347Mike]

That's been my experience in most cases, and in those cases these people were already intelligent to begin with. There very likely is a relationship between the two.

You mean to tell me alcohol in itself doesn't make you smarter?!

[The King]

You mean to tell me alcohol in itself doesn't make you smarter?!

Whether it does or not, it usually seems to.

[EW]

The g/f is a Ph.D and drinks lots of wine. I drink once every three months. Dang it.

[Nash B.]

Although increased alcohol consumption could be a reflection of exceptional brainpower, drinking more will certainly not make you any more intelligent than you already are.

...

[talisman]

...

Fuck you! It's not going to stop me from trying!

[YALE]

Fuck you! It's not going to stop me from trying!

See? You should have a keg party.

[BradM]

See? You should have a keg party.

I have a kegerator. Cause I'm wicked smart!

[fitzwell]

The g/f is a Ph.D and drinks lots of wine. I drink once every three months. Dang it.

This. Mary has degrees in two completely unrelated fields, loves her wine, and, is just as comfortable with a cold Shiner or Stella.

[Snatch Napkin]

I'm getting my smart on, again.

[naynay]

Cheers Buffalo theory:

The Buffalo Theory as told by Cliff Clavin: No one can explain this as well as Cliff Clavin, on Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. and here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

[bird_dog0347]

I drink so I can tolerate the dumb people!