I had a mom and a dad when i was young and I would make sure that my child had the same even if i had to go fishing 3-4 days a week to get away from the wife
I had a mom and a dad when i was young and I would make sure that my child had the same even if i had to go fishing 3-4 days a week to get away from the wife
My parents have been divorced since I was 6. My dad is still a good dad.
Just think its easier on the child not to have to have 2 separate
homes and be passed around like a hot potato. JMO opinions may differ
It's easier, but a child that doesn't see people behaving honestly and authentically is in for a much more turbulent upbringing than one who does. If parents can work together outside of a relationship to raise that kid, but can't inside one, the choice is a no brainer. Aside from that, do you want your kid to see you and think forced misery is the normal state of marriage? Fuck that. Life is too short.
It's easier, but a child that doesn't see people behaving honestly and authentically is in for a much more turbulent upbringing than one who does. If parents can work together outside of a relationship to raise that kid, but can't inside one, the choice is a no brainer. Aside from that, do you want your kid to see you and think forced misery is the normal state of marriage? Fuck that. Life is too short.
My folks got divorced when i was like 2, i have no memories of them living in a home together. As i got older, when i was in trouble at one place i was in trouble at both. they always 'conspired' - part of their reasoning was to teach me that even as divorced parents they were still my parents and would act as such. When mom or dad would drop me off they would chat for a few, always very pleasant with one another. As i grew up, i started to learn that this wasn't the norm.. it was probably sometime mid elementary school when i saw other kids' divorced parents and how they interacted. all through jr high and high school, they parented as a team. my dad has remarried twice and my mom has had the same boyfriend for like 15 years now, but they can still hop on the phone and talk for a bit like old friends and there's never any bad blood.
my mom and stepmom are friends and chat on facebook all the time. my dad and moms boyfriend aren't really buddies, but they share no animosity. we've had numerous dinners together as one big 'family' without any problems. i know it's not the norm, but it happens.
That's how it is now with my ex. We were separated for a year, and the divorce took another year, and that entire time it was ugly and nasty. Now that it's all overwith, we get along great. I'd even say better now than it was for the last 2 years of the marriage. She even laughs when I make jokes about the loser she is with now.
My kids are handled the same way, though. You're not running to her house to get out of the shitstorm you created here, and vice versa. If they are grounded at one house, they are grounded at the other. The chores they are expected to do at one house, are expected at the other. Disrespect is NEVER acceptable. I'm a little tougher on them, but I'm the father so I'm expected to, and I'm ok with that.
Originally posted by BradM
But, just like condoms and women's rights, I don't believe in them.
Successful guy meets young woman (25). She's kinda cute, fake boobs, no kids. Then you realize she has been married twice. She lives with her parents and has no job.
After several months first pregnancy scare comes. And its a miscarry (her words). Guy gets first home, girls makes herself at home. Guy wises up and pays for
That's how it is now with my ex. We were separated for a year, and the divorce took another year, and that entire time it was ugly and nasty. Now that it's all overwith, we get along great. I'd even say better now than it was for the last 2 years of the marriage. She even laughs when I make jokes about the loser she is with now.
My kids are handled the same way, though. You're not running to her house to get out of the shitstorm you created here, and vice versa. If they are grounded at one house, they are grounded at the other. The chores they are expected to do at one house, are expected at the other. Disrespect is NEVER acceptable. I'm a little tougher on them, but I'm the father so I'm expected to, and I'm ok with that.
It's also a lot easier when parenting styles are very similar. My parents didn't see eye-to-eye on punishment/reward involving my sister and I (grounding, spankings, first cars, paying for school trips, et.al). This led to some deep rifts that got us two stuck in the middle. My parent's divorce was ugly: they've been split 23 years, mom has been dead for over 2 years and my dad still doesn't care to talk about her in a good light.
Originally posted by PGreenCobra
I can't get over the fact that you get to go live the rest of your life, knowing that someone made a Halloween costume out of you. LMAO!!
Why you SMF's don't get vasectomies is beyond me. Also, for not being you, why did you post the same thread nearly nine months ago?
These are different scenarios. One did everything possible to get pregnant to avoid getting dumped. This one is getting pregnant to force a marriage since her parents are the definition on self-righteous bible thumpers who's head would explode if faced with explaining a wedlock baby.
There are some similarities though, both already had divorces under their belt and met through online dating. It's pretty scary to think that you could literally be putting your dick into a trap. I've been lucky for the past several years but eventually I'll have to "settle down", but not before getting a job with health insurance so I can get snipped. That way I can be ready for my Maury "you are not the father" dance.
I have a similar situation. Wife married twice before. I had to get her pregnant twice to get her to marry me. First one didn't take so I kept on. She tried to play it off as she couldn't get pregnant and that's why the first two left. I showed her.
Good Luck with your little situation. Sounds like you might want to get snipped. No sense in doubling or tripling the penalty.
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