I think I am having a midlife / career crisis

[gearhead78]

I have been thinking a lot lately. I am about to turn 40 and I don't see my life turned out any way I planned financially. I have a great family and make decent mid upper 5 figure income as a service writer in a large dealership but I'm gone from the house 13+ hours a day and every other Saturday. A few years back I was making low 6 figures selling cars but I got away from that before my first child was born because the hours were even worse.

I look back and I blew a bunch of money in my early to mid 30's and don't have much to show for it now. I have had some medical problems in the family the last few years and really put a stain on things. I feel like I am treading water and getting nowhere.

With my twins and my oldest daughter I have to really start thinking about their education and my own retirement too. At the same time I want to be able to spend more time with my wife and kids and more time working on car projects.

I never went to school past highschool. I sometimes think I need to start over and go to school but that's not realistic either because my wife stays home to take care of three young children. Everything I have ever tried I do well at. Before Super Shops closed I went from busting tires at 19 to running my own store at 21 and moved all over the country to help turns stores around. When the chain went under I moved back to Dallas and started selling cars and a few months later a sold one to a man that owned a high end plumbing and hardware co. He asked me to come work for him and with in a short time I was running one of his locations. Some family problems started in the company so I went back to selling cars and was the top sales guy for several years. I am now in the service side and am one of the top producers. Its an OK job when we are busy but this time of year when its gets slow I start to hate it and hate the time I am away from home.

I hear rumors about advisors at BMW and Lexus and other stores making a lot more so I have thought about trying to make a move but I am still stuck with dealership hours. I even thought of some ways to just do my own thing but due to some medical stuff no insurance company will take us. I have even thought about looking in to becoming a realtor but I don't know if we could survive going without a paycheck getting started.

I usually am a very meticulous and methodical person and don't worry about much of anything but my anxiety over all this seems to grow by the day. The last two weeks at work have been super slow so it just makes me think about it more. I just don't know what to do.

[Damnittsteve]

this is a bad place to come for advice. all i can say is money isnt everything, and if you're family is getting fed and they are happy, i would meditate on being content with the way things are because they can always get worse and do so for many many people.

[FreightTrain]

Come work for the Railroad. Pay is good, benefits are awesome, and we have a great retirement. The schedule sucks, but that depends on how big of a whore you are. You only work as much as you want to.

[Buick355]

I don't think it's possible to get away from the long days and weekend hours working in the auto industry. This is the main reason I got out. When I was turning wrenches I was working 13 hour days and EVERY saturday, and a lot of Sundays. It wore me down and I hated not being able to spend time with my family.

[TexasT]

Right there with ya. Working for tha man doesn't really get anyone much past treading water. To reap big rewards risk must be taken. I have the same family holdback so I won't take the chance either but as soon as they are out of the house I have ideas to try.

Don't give up, keep moving forward. You are not married to the job. Family will always be family good or bad.

[YALE]

You could also get on a frac crew.

[petyweestraw]

Come work for the Railroad. Pay is good, benefits are awesome, and we have a great retirement. The schedule sucks, but that depends on how big of a whore you are. You only work as much as you want to.

Due tell me more. I can be a pretty whoreish whore

_______________________________________
" I look at people somtimes and think ......Really? Thats the sperm that won?"

[War Machine]

its weird, I own a car lot and I hate it. I think about closing it all the time and getting a job doing what youre doing. Im stressed out of my mind all the time. If its not one thing its another. We have been SLOW the past two months, and with no weekly paycheck its been hurting. I keep telling myself its not worth the stress. I guess we are in the same boat at two different ends of the business.

[Jimbo]

A lot of people share the same feelings. I go back and forth with similar thoughts. Security vs risk, etc. Good luck with your choices.

You could also get on a frac crew.

I'm actually looking into it. Any leads?

[Frank]

For what its worth, I just got done making some adjustments to my life insurance and retirement so I should be sitting pretty when retirement comes or at the worst, my family is taken care of if I pass. That alone took some stress off me. I'm 39 as well. I'll send you my agent's name and you can talk over options with him. We're young enough we still have a lot of time on our side for growth of retirement and such.

[YALE]

A lot of people share the same feelings. I go back and forth with similar thoughts. Security vs risk, etc. Good luck with your choices.


I'm actually looking into it. Any leads?

I've got a few friends that work in the industry I can ask if you'd like me to. They work in South Texas, though. Really, your best bet is to live down there, if you can. If you go to North Dakota, though, you can get a job today, on the spot.

[red89notch]

its weird, I own a car lot and I hate it. I think about closing it all the time and getting a job doing what youre doing. Im stressed out of my mind all the time. If its not one thing its another. We have been SLOW the past two months, and with no weekly paycheck its been hurting. I keep telling myself its not worth the stress. I guess we are in the same boat at two different ends of the business.

Just wait til you get my bill! J/K

[TX_92_Notch]

I know exactly where you're coming from. I was an architect for 13 years (working for 'the man' at a very large firm) and just quit to start my own business. It's not architecture, but it's still in the drafting field. I'm finishing up my second week and I'm almost past the point of stressing out, wondering what the fuck I just did.

I made good money as an architect, but I knew I would never 'make it big' until late in my career. I was sick and tired of the corporate America side of it and I had an opportunity present itself that I simply couldn't pass up.

I know it's easier said than done, but business ownership is where it's at. Sure there's risk, but then there's the reward if you make it work...

[Sean88gt]

Despite the headaches, heartaches, panic and so forth, I'd rather strike out on my own than go back to corporate America. If you are the least bit outside of the mould, you don't fit.

I'm busy now, bidding a lot of projects and doing everything I can to get back to where I was before.

I will forward one piece of advice from a friend regarding corporate America - always keep a minimum of 6-12 months worth of income in savings so you can leave at a moments notice, never let them own you.

[YALE]

i know exactly where you're coming from. I was an architect for 13 years (working for 'the man' at a very large firm) and just quit to start my own business. It's not architecture, but it's still in the drafting field. I'm finishing up my second week and i'm almost past the point of stressing out, wondering what the fuck i just did.

I made good money as an architect, but i knew i would never 'make it big' until late in my career. I was sick and tired of the corporate america side of it and i had an opportunity present itself that i simply couldn't pass up.

I know it's easier said than done, but business ownership is where it's at. Sure there's risk, but then there's the reward if you make it work...

hks?