Advice/child custody

[idrivea4banger]

I've got a shovel, just say the word.

[silverranger]

I do make more than her, but I am 100% com for pay. So i am sure she will try to use that, even though we are always busy. Yeah I kinda figured it would not be easy, but I will not go down without a fight. I love my son more than anything, and feel like he is going to have it hard living with her. I am glad I went ahead and got a Lawyer (I wanted to work it out between us) but everyone said that would be a terrible idea.
I think i will go up there on my lunches to see him.

[silverranger]

i've got a shovel, just say the word.

word word word haha

[bcoop]

1.) Keep a cool head. I know it's tough, but do not yell, cuss, berate, etc. Don't speak ill of her in front of any of her family or friends.
2.) Document everything. Keep your printed cell phone bill handy, so you can prove you've attempted contact several times. DO NOT call or text more than once a day. There's making an effort, and there's borderline harassment. Walk that line.
3.) DO NOT pay her a dime until the court says to, however, start setting away 20% in a separate bank account so you don't start out in the hole.
4.) The only way you can speed the process up, is if you can prove negligence, drug abuse (or serious alcohol abuse).
5.) Don't argue with her. At all. Ever. Record your phone conversations, and don't tell her you are doing it. It IS admissable in court. Will work in your favor if she loses her temper and you keep your cool.
6.) Are you POSITIVE the baby is yours? You may want to have a DNA test done before you take this to court. Once you go to court, it's too late. You could be stuck paying for a child that isn't yours for the next 18 years. I hate to mention it, but chicks are conniving and crazy, so you need to make sure. Undeniable proof. The only way is DNA.
7.) At this point, you're at her mercy. Because there is no order, she is not in violation of anything. She doesn't have to let you see him.
8.) Have your attorney work it out to where it states in the papers that YOU get to claim the child as a dependent. She will fight this, but that is for your attorneys to work out.
9.) Show no mercy. This won't go smoothly. So don't worry about sparing her feelings. Let the lawyer do what he does.


A bit of advice moving forward... Think whatever you want about her. Say whatever you want about her. But don't say it in front of the child. And don't let anyone else say anything negative about her in front of the child. I don't care how bad it is. Your child will only grow to resent you for it. The alternative is that they pick up on it, and begin to believe the terrible things they hear. It's not a good situation either way it plays out.

[RCITNet]

I'm currently handling a case for custody.

1) what county does she reside in?
2) do you reside in the same county
3) do you currently pay child support?
a) if you don't pay support have you provided any financial support?
b) did you keep records of what you have given?

Sent from my DROID RAZR

[RCITNet]

A protective order is to be used when the child is in danger. Filing a motion for protective order when the child is in not in danger can be deemed fraudulent and as harassment. I would not suggest that. If you haven't gone to court for paternity/child support you will have to cover that as well. Cheaper option is to open a case with the OAG, they will do paternity and order a mediation to determine child support and visitation.

Filing a motion in court for a temporary order hearing will get you in front of a judge within 2-3 weeks. They will grant temporary visitation, child support and what ever else until paternity and the other shit can be determined.

Sent from my DROID RAZR

[silverranger]

1.) Keep a cool head. I know it's tough, but do not yell, cuss, berate, etc. Don't speak ill of her in front of any of her family or friends.
2.) Document everything. Keep your printed cell phone bill handy, so you can prove you've attempted contact several times. DO NOT call or text more than once a day. There's making an effort, and there's borderline harassment. Walk that line.
3.) DO NOT pay her a dime until the court says to, however, start setting away 20% in a separate bank account so you don't start out in the hole.
4.) The only way you can speed the process up, is if you can prove negligence, drug abuse (or serious alcohol abuse).
5.) Don't argue with her. At all. Ever. Record your phone conversations, and don't tell her you are doing it. It IS admissable in court. Will work in your favor if she loses her temper and you keep your cool.
6.) Are you POSITIVE the baby is yours? You may want to have a DNA test done before you take this to court. Once you go to court, it's too late. You could be stuck paying for a child that isn't yours for the next 18 years. I hate to mention it, but chicks are conniving and crazy, so you need to make sure. Undeniable proof. The only way is DNA.
7.) At this point, you're at her mercy. Because there is no order, she is not in violation of anything. She doesn't have to let you see him.
8.) Have your attorney work it out to where it states in the papers that YOU get to claim the child as a dependent. She will fight this, but that is for your attorneys to work out.
9.) Show no mercy. This won't go smoothly. So don't worry about sparing her feelings. Let the lawyer do what he does.


A bit of advice moving forward... Think whatever you want about her. Say whatever you want about her. But don't say it in front of the child. And don't let anyone else say anything negative about her in front of the child. I don't care how bad it is. Your child will only grow to resent you for it. The alternative is that they pick up on it, and begin to believe the terrible things they hear. It's not a good situation either way it plays out.

1. that is the BIGGEST thing i have been told, I have been nothing but nice, but this chick will make up anything just like she did with her ex.
2. She got a new phone, checked ours today she has not used it since yesterday. I only have a email address now, i am sure that will be gone soon.
So do I continue to text her phone, that I am paying for, that she has.
3. Already got that set aside
4. None of the above, i am sure she will try to turn that around on me, giving my deal 7 years ago.
5. If she ever answer her phone I will do that.
6. Yes 100%
7. I was afraid of that, If she did let me see him I am 100% she would try to say I did something, if he got a mark on him oh hell....
8. Great Idea i did not think about that.
9. Ok

yeah as much as I dislike her for putting me through this, it is not the kids fault, he will see what she is about when he is older. I just want to be the best dad I can be and raise him to be a man.

[silverranger]

I'm currently handling a case for custody.

1) what county does she reside in?
2) do you reside in the same county
3) do you currently pay child support?
a) if you don't pay support have you provided any financial support?
b) did you keep records of what you have given?

Sent from my DROID RAZR

Tarrant
Yes
I have been giving her a set amount on what we agreed on, nothing through the courts
Yes and no, I have kept all my reciepts for stuff I have bought my son. But nothing really on the cash i give her for daycare.

[silverranger]

A protective order is to be used when the child is in danger. Filing a motion for protective order when the child is in not in danger can be deemed fraudulent and as harassment. I would not suggest that. If you haven't gone to court for paternity/child support you will have to cover that as well. Cheaper option is to open a case with the OAG, they will do paternity and order a mediation to determine child support and visitation.

Filing a motion in court for a temporary order hearing will get you in front of a judge within 2-3 weeks. They will grant temporary visitation, child support and what ever else until paternity and the other shit can be determined.

Sent from my DROID RAZR

This is why i did not go this route, plus my lawyer advised it could get bad.
Ok, I guess I just need to get ready for the courts

[RCITNet]

I hope that set amount you have been giving is traceable. Otherwise she can go to court and say you never gave her shit and they will order back support to the date of birth.

You will be ordered to provide health insurance for the child.

Sent from my DROID RAZR

[silverranger]

I am sure she will say I never gave her jack. I will cross that bridge when it comes up.

Even if she has insurance, not bitching just asking bc having him insured twice seems a bit much.

Thank you for all the advice

[Roscoe]

I am sure she will say I never gave her jack. I will cross that bridge when it comes up.

Even if she has insurance, not bitching just asking bc having him insured twice seems a bit much.

Thank you for all the advice

Start writing her checks for every dollar you give her...

[RCITNet]

I am sure she will say I never gave her jack. I will cross that bridge when it comes up.

Even if she has insurance, not bitching just asking bc having him insured twice seems a bit much.

Thank you for all the advice

Yes unless she opts to keep him under her coverage in which case you have to pay her for what it costs her for him to be under her insurance. If her insurance costs more than it would cost you for him to be under yours just tell the judge that you will provide insurance.

You don't really need an attorney to do all this since its pretty basic stuff. You will be awarded co-manager, she will maintain the right to pick where the child lives so long as its within a contiguous county. Outside of a contiguous county she has to file a motion in court to be granted permission to move further away. You would be present and allowed to protest her moving the child or agreeing but with stipulations such as decreased child support due to the increase in distance you must travel to pick him up.

You'll be granted the standard visitation schedule. Every Wednesday from 6-8pm, every other weekend and on weekends where Friday is the first day of the month. Every other holiday, rotating Christmas breaks so one year you would get the first part of Christmas and she the second part and the following year it would flip. Summer vacation you would get him for all of July.

This is of course if she doesn't have any dirt on you that she could use against you to show that you're unfit to have unsupervised visitations.

Sent from my DROID RAZR

[RCITNet]

Start writing her checks for every dollar you give her...

I would stop giving her anything once the court documents are filed. Its ugly but if he has the possibility of being penalized for not having evidence showing what he has provided thus far he is going to get raped anyways.

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[Roscoe]

Yes unless she opts to keep him under her coverage in which case you have to pay her for what it costs her for him to be under her insurance. If her insurance costs more than it would cost you for him to be under yours just tell the judge that you will provide insurance.

You don't really need an attorney to do all this since its pretty basic stuff. You will be awarded co-manager, she will maintain the right to pick where the child lives so long as its within a contiguous county. Outside of a contiguous county she has to file a motion in court to be granted permission to move further away. You would be present and allowed to protest her moving the child or agreeing but with stipulations such as decreased child support due to the increase in distance you must travel to pick him up.

You'll be granted the standard visitation schedule. Every Wednesday from 6-8pm, every other weekend and on weekends where Friday is the first day of the month. Every other holiday, rotating Christmas breaks so one year you would get the first part of Christmas and she the second part and the following year it would flip. Summer vacation you would get him for all of July.

This is of course if she doesn't have any dirt on you that she could use against you to show that you're unfit to have unsupervised visitations.

Sent from my DROID RAZR

Kinda sounds like you know what you're talking about... Can you create an ACCESS database to help him track and report?