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USS Haditha Accidentally Sinks Fishing Boat, Machine-Guns Survivors Read more: http:

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  • USS Haditha Accidentally Sinks Fishing Boat, Machine-Guns Survivors Read more: http:

    Manama, Bahrain – In a rare setback for the international anti-piracy campaign off Somalia, US Navy officials today admitted that the American warship USS Haditha accidentally sank a Chinese fishing vessel just east of Somalia and then inadvertently machine-gunned the survivors.

    This contradicted the Haditha‘s initial report, which said that it had been attacked by seven pirate skiffs and a pair of pirate-operated Mirage jets armed with Exocet missiles.

    Vice Admiral Mark I. Fox, the commander of the United States 5th Fleet, spoke to reporters following reports that a fishing vessel had been “blown out of the water” by “an unusually well-armed warship that happened to be flying an American flag.”

    Captain Erik King, the commander of the Haditha, claims that his ship was simply following the rules of engagement.

    According to him, the Haditha originally spotted what it thought was a pirate vessel while patrolling 75 nautical miles east of Somalia.

    “She was casually steaming up and down the coast with a group of armed men on board, obviously lying in wait for the next innocent ship to steam across her path,” Captain King said.

    Many fishing trawlers carry armed guards while sailing through Somali waters.

    When the Haditha demanded the fishing boat stop and be searched, its crew refused, claiming it was a sovereign vessel in international waters.

    “Under our current rules of engagement, we’re allowed to prevent any suspicious vessels from leaving the area, and that’s what we proceeded to do,” said Captain King, referring to the Haditha‘s subsequent attack on the fishing boat with its 5 inch gun, Mark 46 torpedoes, and the Captain’s 9mm sidearm, which he fired from the bridge.

    After the boat sank, the survivors began swimming towards the Haditha, prompting Captain King to order all four of the ship’s .50 caliber machine guns to open fire on them, as well as launch the ship’s SH-60 Seahawk helicopter to drop depth charges.

    “They were clearly attempting to board our vessel,” said Captain King, “and the rules of engagement allow us to use deadly force to prevent potentially hostile individuals from ‘closing with or boarding’ our ship, so I’m unclear what the problem is.”

    According to an anonymous source from the Haditha, just before the attack Captain King also told his sailors that he’d rather “be tried by twelve than carried by six.”

    The Haditha is an Arleigh Burke--class destroyer, designed to operate in an asymmetric environment just off the coast of a hostile or potentially-hostile territory.

    The ship has been particularly controversial for its habit of conducting escalations of force on Carnival Cruise ships with its Tomahawk Missiles, and of returning captains to their vessels with black eyes and claiming they fell off a ladder.

    A YouTube video was also discovered last year showing two members of the ship’s crew tossing baby seals off a glacier, although they claimed the seals were already dead at the time.

    Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/06/us...#ixzz23ZDS2Ihu
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    I wear a Fez. Fez-es are cool

  • #2
    I read. I laughed. I like the Captain fired his 9mm from the bridge.
    Fuck you. We're going to Costco.

    Comment


    • #3
      Brilliant.
      Originally posted by Broncojohnny
      HOORAY ME and FUCK YOU!

      Comment


      • #4
        Why isn't the entire crew charged with murder?!?!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by jewozzy View Post
          Why isn't the entire crew charged with murder?!?!
          Because they only killed foreigners,not real people.
          .

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by jewozzy View Post
            Why isn't the entire crew charged with murder?!?!

            Because international maritime law allows the USCG and USN to board and inspect ALL ships suspected of being involved in piracy. This goes back to the early 1800's when the US told the Barbary pirates to fuck themselves and then proceeded to hunt them all down and kill them.

            This is an Onion story isn't it?
            Magnus, I am your father. You need to ask your mother about a man named Calvin Klein.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Forever_frost View Post
              and the Captain’s 9mm sidearm, which he fired from the bridge
              sigpic

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by 71chevellejohn View Post
                Because they only killed foreigners,not real people.
                Truth.


                Jewozzy, thecstory is fake. You cant be charged with fake murder.

                Comment


                • #9
                  redrum! redrum!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by jewozzy View Post
                    Why isn't the entire crew charged with murder?!?!
                    Because The Duffle Blog is the military version of the Onion.
                    I wear a Fez. Fez-es are cool

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Sarcasm!?!?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Also, there is no USS Haditha. Haditha is a place in Iraq.
                        ZOMBIE REAGAN FOR PRESIDENT 2016!!! heh

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by jewozzy View Post
                          Sarcasm!?!?


                          Nope, we've already decided you were serious man, you're screwed now...
                          www.allforoneroofing.com

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Yale View Post
                            Also, there is no USS Haditha. Haditha is a place in Iraq.
                            The square where Blackwater got trigger happy and expended their weight in ammo?
                            Fuck you. We're going to Costco.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by kbscobravert View Post
                              The square where Blackwater got trigger happy and expended their weight in ammo?
                              The very same.

                              EDIT: Damn! What an excellent troll job!
                              ZOMBIE REAGAN FOR PRESIDENT 2016!!! heh

                              Comment

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