come home for kids or stick it out?

[SS Junk]

I agree with those who say the time with your family is far more valuable than the money you make. My father-in-law does nothing but mope around living in the past and regretting the decisions he made while his kids were young. Don't become my father-in-law.

[slow06]

Assuming your family can live off the reduced money I would say stay home with the family. That's easy to say since I'm the one not having to make that kind of adjustment though. That's a huge change, and it can be done, but I imagine it would come with it's own struggles.

I don't think you will ever regret a moment spent with your kids, and not a dollar that you make will ever make up for you not being there. I would think over time you can probably work your way up and find better sales related jobs in the area, but I don't know your field.

That's a tough choice, good luck with whatever you choose man.

[ceyko]

Yea 115 to 45 is what it would be

No. Like others said, that PERCENTAGE of a cut is way too much. Unless you're wife is willing to help make up the difference.

There is a fine line on quality of life vs financial needs and all that junk.

I'd just try to figure out ways to stay home more. Also, make the time you are home with the kids count. Meaning, quality time. Budget in mowing and stuff so it frees you up to be with them. If you're only really home 1 weekend a month make sure at least 1 full day is all about them. Sometimes parents who see their kids very little, have more quality time than parents that are home all the time.

Keep looking though, cause stuff comes up all the time. There is no substitute to seeing them everyday for your own purposes. Even if they don't even think about it, it's nice to see them. My soon to be 3 y/o twins, it's like they change on a daily basis. Sometimes I'm gone for long periods though, it's just what we have to do. The one poster mentioned getting his balls busted for not being home. At the end of the day, if you can sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing for your family - that's all that really matters. Even though those comments probably still hurt a little.

[KCHAR]

Ceyko, she can make up some since she makes 55

[Roscoe]

That's not a paycut, that's basically going on unemployment with that kind of percentage drop. It wouldn't work....

I travel weekly, but it's not to the extent that you do, so I can't quite relate. If you can find a gig closer to home that is comparable, that would be your best bet, but your quality of life (and that of your children) will substantially decline with that type of income loss.

[ceyko]

Ceyko, she can make up some since she makes 55

So, you're right at 100K which SHOULD be a livable income. It just depends cause I know how it is either way. You have quality of life, retirement plans, kid stuff...etc...etc. It's not like y'all will be living solely off of 45K.

However, at that point if either one of you loses your job you're royally f'ed. Trust me, I'm the only income from this house and stress that everyday.

It would just seem to me that it may make more sense to TRY and do more things remote for work and/or keep job hunting. We don't need to spoil our kids, but we also need to make sure we're building a rainy day fund and all that jazz.

[KCHAR]

well just like that I just received a phone call from that job I interviewed for recently as a warehouse supervisor that they made me an offer for 55000. not 115000 but more than 450000 I was offered Friday. Maybe that is my sign I needed.

[ceyko]

well just like that I just received a phone call from that job I interviewed for recently as a warehouse supervisor that they made me an offer for 55000. not 115000 but more than 450000 I was offered Friday. Maybe that is my sign I needed.

Wish ya luck either way man. Only you know the details about your family situation and all that. I will say, not traveling will be a huge relief and if you semi-like the new job...you'll probably be happy.

[KCHAR]

Wish ya luck either way man. Only you know the details about your family situation and all that. I will say, not traveling will be a huge relief and if you semi-like the new job...you'll probably be happy.

thanks, it is first shift for the first 4 months, then goes to second shift (3-11) after that so I dont care for that part, but it is Mo-Fr so that would be great to work honestly.

I mean we will pay the bills if I take this job, but no money for savings, college, etc. I just dont know if that is selfish of me to take this knowing that or if it's just the right thing as a husband/father to do.

[Ruffdaddy]

thanks, it is first shift for the first 4 months, then goes to second shift (3-11) after that so I dont care for that part, but it is Mo-Fr so that would be great to work honestly.

I mean we will pay the bills if I take this job, but no money for savings, college, etc. I just dont know if that is selfish of me to take this knowing that or if it's just the right thing as a husband/father to do.

Don't pay or their college. My parents didn't and I make more than them now...I also don't hold anything against them for not paying.

[Sean88gt]

Why such a drastic cut? You should be able to find something better or locally sales related that allows you to grow your income.
The several years have taught me that you can contract your lifestyle more than you ever realized was possible, that you don't need a lot of the bullshit you think you do, and that family time is absolutely critical - not just for your kids but for you and your chick. It is just irreplaceable. I traveled up to 80% of the time for years with multiple weeks gone so coming back to finish my degree felt like a prison sentence, but I've grown so close to my kids and my marriage is far healthier than it was.

If you have debt, pay it off and the decrease won't sting so bad.

[ceyko]

thanks, it is first shift for the first 4 months, then goes to second shift (3-11) after that so I dont care for that part, but it is Mo-Fr so that would be great to work honestly.

I mean we will pay the bills if I take this job, but no money for savings, college, etc. I just dont know if that is selfish of me to take this knowing that or if it's just the right thing as a husband/father to do.

As others mentioned, for college if there is a will there is a way for kids. Savings though is a big deal. However, like mentioned - pay down debt and you'll be a lot better off. When we switched to single income it was win/win by paying off debt. We maintained a certain amount of debt, but when we paid most of it off/down...

1. The main card we have w/ low interest tripled in its limit. We like this, because sometimes it makes more sense to put stuff on there as like a payment plan as opposed to depleting cash...etc. Plus, it's there if a big time emergency comes about, lets me float other people's travel for work..etc. (I do that for the card kickbacks...etc)

2. Credit score drastically increased. (80 points...quite a bit to me and it was not bad to start with)

3. Due to #2, any loans we get and so forth are a half point to a full point better interest rate now. In fact, next new car we get I'm going to see if 0% is an option...depending on situation. Also, anything you buy retail - the no payments thing is a sure bet - which we like too as opposed to dipping into savings.

[Texican]

I was in a simliar situation, money was close to that too, about 10k more on each end. I ended up taking this job in Iraq (where I'm at now) but not strictly for the money. My wife was working full time during the day and school every night til 10. Now she's able to quit working, see our daughter all day and focus on school. My GI Bill pays her to go though so she still gets income. For me it's a start-up program for my work so the money's great and a huge increase but it's also about future oppurtunities. It's a 90/21 day rotation work/home for a year, possibly a second year if I choose. I saw a lot more good than bad and it's only temporary, for us it works.

[KCHAR]

Why such a drastic cut? You should be able to find something better or locally sales related that allows you to grow your income.
The several years have taught me that you can contract your lifestyle more than you ever realized was possible, that you don't need a lot of the bullshit you think you do, and that family time is absolutely critical - not just for your kids but for you and your chick. It is just irreplaceable. I traveled up to 80% of the time for years with multiple weeks gone so coming back to finish my degree felt like a prison sentence, but I've grown so close to my kids and my marriage is far healthier than it was.

If you have debt, pay it off and the decrease won't sting so bad.

As others mentioned, for college if there is a will there is a way for kids. Savings though is a big deal. However, like mentioned - pay down debt and you'll be a lot better off. When we switched to single income it was win/win by paying off debt. We maintained a certain amount of debt, but when we paid most of it off/down...

1. The main card we have w/ low interest tripled in its limit. We like this, because sometimes it makes more sense to put stuff on there as like a payment plan as opposed to depleting cash...etc. Plus, it's there if a big time emergency comes about, lets me float other people's travel for work..etc. (I do that for the card kickbacks...etc)

2. Credit score drastically increased. (80 points...quite a bit to me and it was not bad to start with)

3. Due to #2, any loans we get and so forth are a half point to a full point better interest rate now. In fact, next new car we get I'm going to see if 0% is an option...depending on situation. Also, anything you buy retail - the no payments thing is a sure bet - which we like too as opposed to dipping into savings.

Thats the kicker. 14 months ago we were 143000 in credit card debt. I took this job, busted my ass for the past 14 months to pay off 82000 of it but we still have 61000 to go. I see the negative effect me being gone is having on my marriage and kids and i so want to take a job back in dfw but i want to get out of that debt at the same time.

[Roscoe]

Thats the kicker. 14 months ago we were 143000 in credit card debt. I took this job, busted my ass for the past 14 months to pay off 82000 of it but we still have 61000 to go. I see the negative effect me being gone is having on my marriage and kids and i so want to take a job back in dfw but i want to get out of that debt at the same time.

HOLY FUCK! I'd say if you've made that much progress, stick it out a bit longer and you'll then be debt free and able to do what you need to do.

With a substantial pay cut, you'll have that debt for a long, long time... Looks like you can have it all paid off in ~9mo if you put your best into it.