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So was on my way home tonight with my buddy after crusin in the BMW for a bit. He gets a call from his sister-in-law that her car wont start. No explination or understanding of why or even able to describe anything that happened before the car failed. I hear him trying to explain how to listen for the fuel pump and if the cars battery is low etc etc. She says the lights go on so the batery is good. I decide we should just go look at the car. Its late, shes a little white girl in a not so white area.
So we get there and start troubleshooting it at 11:30PM. Right away can see the battery is dead, fortunatly her boyfriend was there in his Toyota Echo cause I sure as hell wasnt gonna jump it off my BMW. Dude pulls out the cheapest pair of jumper cables I ever saw. Wire looks like 4awg but its 60% jacket and is closer to 12awg wire so I knew he couldnt jump it and would have to charge it using his car and proceed to hook up the cables. I tell him they are hooked up and all I get is a blank stare. I inform him to start his car. So he does and then turns it off. I have to explain how and alt works and for him to keep his car running. I then ask the GF for her owners manual so I can see what relay is what and make sure its all working. Her BF proceeds to tell me he has HIS owners manual. LOL
Once again I go back to troubleshooting and ignore the dumb. She then states the dealer just did a bunch of work. Brakes and an AC compressor and is that why the car wont start.......
I ask why she would take an 11 year old Taurus to a Ford dealer and she says she didnt..... it was a Dodge dealer..... Then says the Echos exhaust is hanging and what kind of wire does she need to fix it. 
So I tell her twisted pair of gold plated Monster RCA wires. 
At this moment things get entertaining. Big tall ass black dude come walking up and asks whats wrong with the car and I simply reply "Its broke" to which he starts spouting off totally unrelated things to check (water pump, brake fluid, motor mounts) and says hes a mechanic and could use some money. So I hand him my buisiness card and then have to read it to him. LOL
Here comes the funny. The guy sounds EXACTLY like Chefs father on South Park and says "I just wanted some money so I can eat so can you give me about tree fiddy?" I try not to laugh. He then says again if he can borrow tree fiddy for a burrito. At this point I cant contain myself and say "Damn lockness monster wanting tree fiddy! Not giving the lockness monster no tree fiddy" to which my friend picks up on the South Park refrence and says "Ill give him a dollar" LOL and we launch off into the whole story that Chefs dad tells in the show and we are dying laughing. Then the dude kept sayin he just wanted tree fiddy. We told him no and he said "How about two fiddy?" and I almost peed myself and said "Oh, now its two fiddy. What, is there a sale on lockness munchies or something?" :spit
For those that have never seen the South Park episode, here it is:
So we get there and start troubleshooting it at 11:30PM. Right away can see the battery is dead, fortunatly her boyfriend was there in his Toyota Echo cause I sure as hell wasnt gonna jump it off my BMW. Dude pulls out the cheapest pair of jumper cables I ever saw. Wire looks like 4awg but its 60% jacket and is closer to 12awg wire so I knew he couldnt jump it and would have to charge it using his car and proceed to hook up the cables. I tell him they are hooked up and all I get is a blank stare. I inform him to start his car. So he does and then turns it off. I have to explain how and alt works and for him to keep his car running. I then ask the GF for her owners manual so I can see what relay is what and make sure its all working. Her BF proceeds to tell me he has HIS owners manual. LOL
Once again I go back to troubleshooting and ignore the dumb. She then states the dealer just did a bunch of work. Brakes and an AC compressor and is that why the car wont start.......
I ask why she would take an 11 year old Taurus to a Ford dealer and she says she didnt..... it was a Dodge dealer..... Then says the Echos exhaust is hanging and what kind of wire does she need to fix it. So I tell her twisted pair of gold plated Monster RCA wires. At this moment things get entertaining. Big tall ass black dude come walking up and asks whats wrong with the car and I simply reply "Its broke" to which he starts spouting off totally unrelated things to check (water pump, brake fluid, motor mounts) and says hes a mechanic and could use some money. So I hand him my buisiness card and then have to read it to him. LOL
Here comes the funny. The guy sounds EXACTLY like Chefs father on South Park and says "I just wanted some money so I can eat so can you give me about tree fiddy?" I try not to laugh. He then says again if he can borrow tree fiddy for a burrito. At this point I cant contain myself and say "Damn lockness monster wanting tree fiddy! Not giving the lockness monster no tree fiddy" to which my friend picks up on the South Park refrence and says "Ill give him a dollar" LOL and we launch off into the whole story that Chefs dad tells in the show and we are dying laughing. Then the dude kept sayin he just wanted tree fiddy. We told him no and he said "How about two fiddy?" and I almost peed myself and said "Oh, now its two fiddy. What, is there a sale on lockness munchies or something?" :spit
For those that have never seen the South Park episode, here it is:
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