Steve, i was hard on you when you tried to kill yourself and i was wrong. At the time, i had never been there but now i truelly understand how hopeless and worthless you actually feel. You dont do it because you are selfish. You do it because you think everyone around you is better off without you in their lives. You feel like everything you touch turns to shit and maybe the best thing to do is off yourself so you dont fuck anybody around you up. Its a low place to be.
I met someone that is helping me see the world different. She has a can do attitude and we work well together. No matter what i did to try and make it work with the wife, we were just like oil and water. I will always love her dearly, even after the shit she is pulling with this divorce, but we just dont mix.
and a mental hospital is an amazing place. Everyone already thinks you are crazy, so you can pretty much be as crazy as you want to be and you fit right in!lol I admitted myself to the first one because i had a nervous breakdown after dealing with my wifes horrendous pregnancy. Basically taking care of her 24-7 and also trying to work a job that is on call 24-7 and sucks da balls. Was too much for my brain to handle so i checked into the looney bin.
Good food.....comfy pajamas.....lots of naps.
May God give us strength and courage in the time of our darkest hours.
Semper Fi
I'm sorry about your difficulties Levi, I really am and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Having been on the other side of the coin(spouse w/ bi-polar), it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It is without a doubt, the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I don't say that to say that your wife made the best choice, I say that to say I can sympathize in some respects.
I pray the best for you and hope that you're able to get a good support system around you. May I suggest you look up you local NAMI and DBSA groups? It has been a very good thing for us.
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