I had one of those "hawks" hit my mirror and land on my shoulder, pissed off. Mind you, I was driving on the winding roads in the Davis mountains in west Texas. My brother grabbed it and threw it back out, getting stung in the process. His hand swelled like crazy, and he remarked that he had never felt anything like that. I don't think that picture is the biggest one I've ever seen either. I have seen the flying with a tarantula curled up under it. They are huge! They call them tarantula wasps in west Texas.
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Speaking of giant bullshit scary insects, has anyone ever seen a tarantula hawk?
Supposed to have the second most painful bite of any bug alive.
BTW, the best part about that is that insect bite pain levels are rated on the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. It was generated by a guy named Schmidt (go figure)... and he had to let every one of these bugs fuck him up so that he could accurately gauge their batshitcraziness.
The bullet ant is number one, and the tarantula hawk is number 2. It is rated as follows:
"blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath."
Schmidt Sting Pain Index
1.0 Sweat bee - Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
1.2 Fire ant - Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.
1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant - A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
2.0 Bald-faced hornet - Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
2.0 Yellowjacket - Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
2.x Honey bee and European hornet - Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
3.0 Red harvester ant - Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
3.0 Paper wasp - Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
4.0 Tarantula hawk - Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
4.0+ Bullet ant - Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.
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