Bigger than CJ's Rat - Hopefully

[BajaBob]

The largest insect ever recorded.

AN EXPLORER has found the biggest insect ever on record - so large it can scoff a carrot.
She's called a Weta Bug and has a huge wing span of SEVEN inches and weighs as much as three mice.

Former park ranger Mark Moffett, 55, discovered the cricket-like creature up a tree on New Zealand's Little Barrier Island.

He spent two days searching for the creepy crawly which were thought to be extinct after Europeans brought rats to the island many years ago.

American Mark, 53, said: "Three of us walked the trails of this small island for two nights scanning the vegetation for a giant weta.


Huge ... insect weighs as much as three mice
Mark Moffett / Minden / Solent.
"We spent many hours with no luck finding any at all, before we saw her up in a tree.
"The giant weta is the largest insect in the world, and this is the biggest one ever found.

"She enjoyed the carrot so much she seemed to ignore the fact she was resting on our hands and carried on munching away.

"She would have finished the carrot very quickly, but this is an extremely endangered species and we didn't want to risk indigestion.

"After she had chewed a little I took this picture and we put her right back where we found her."

Mark, from Colorado, added: "We bug lovers hear a lot of people who think insects are inferior in some way because of their size, so it was great to see such a big insect.

"This became all the more amazing when we realised that this was the largest insect recorded."

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3972007/Worlds-biggest-ever-insect-found-called-the-Weta-Bug.html

[BajaBob]

http://mexicanfood.about.com/od/authenticfamilyrecipes/r/chapulines.htm

[Ted]

I truely believe if my wife saw one of these in the wild, she would die immediately of either heart attack or panic attack. I really think she would be a goner.

[onemeangixxer7502]

What the mother fuck.....

[CJ]

That's one big fucking Texas rat snake.

[onemeangixxer7502]

That's one big fucking Texas rat snake.

with cropped ears

[CJ]

with cropped ears

Doesn't look like it's been fixed either.

[Strychnine]

Speaking of giant bullshit scary insects, has anyone ever seen a tarantula hawk?

Supposed to have the second most painful bite of any bug alive.

BTW, the best part about that is that insect bite pain levels are rated on the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. It was generated by a guy named Schmidt (go figure)... and he had to let every one of these bugs fuck him up so that he could accurately gauge their batshitcraziness.

The bullet ant is number one, and the tarantula hawk is number 2. It is rated as follows:
"blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath."




Schmidt Sting Pain Index
1.0 Sweat bee - Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
1.2 Fire ant - Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.
1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant - A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
2.0 Bald-faced hornet - Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
2.0 Yellowjacket - Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
2.x Honey bee and European hornet - Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
3.0 Red harvester ant - Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
3.0 Paper wasp - Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
4.0 Tarantula hawk - Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
4.0+ Bullet ant - Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.

[talisman]

JFC. How'd you like to wake up and have that sitting on your chest staring at you. Bugs don't normally bother me at all, but fuck, even I've got limitations. That looks like some shit out of a 50's sci-fi movie.

[CJ]

Schmidt Sting Pain Index
1.0 Sweat bee - Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
1.2 Fire ant - Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.
1.8 Bullhorn acacia ant - A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek.
2.0 Bald-faced hornet - Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door.
2.0 Yellowjacket - Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W. C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
2.x Honey bee and European hornet - Like a matchhead that flips off and burns on your skin.
3.0 Red harvester ant - Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail.
3.0 Paper wasp - Caustic and burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut.
4.0 Tarantula hawk - Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath.
4.0+ Bullet ant - Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.

LOL wtf? Was part of his test eating the perpetrating insect?

[Strychnine]

LOL wtf? Was part of his test eating the perpetrating insect?

Not sure, but he ended up rating 78 insects.

His synopsis of the tarantula hawk actually went on...

"...immediate, excruciating pain that simply shuts down one's ability to do anything, except, perhaps, scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations."


The dude was F'ing dedicated to the cause.


On the bullet ant:
"Schmidt had a personal encounter with bullet ants – he tried getting drunk to dull the pain, but even after 12 hours he was enduring spasms of agony.

Why did he get stung by bullet ants? He was digging out a nest and got a stung a few times. Sat down to "savor the experience," then dug some more. And got stung some more."

[BajaBob]

JFC. How'd you like to wake up and have that sitting on your chest staring at you. Bugs don't normally bother me at all, but fuck, even I've got limitations. That looks like some shit out of a 50's sci-fi movie.

I have to agree with this. Aside from the fact that the armor on it is really cool and elaborate.

[chuckacosta]

God that gives me the freaking creaps!!

[CJ]

God that gives me the freaking creaps!!

he said creaps.

[Osiris]

On the bullet ant:
"Schmidt had a personal encounter with bullet ants – he tried getting drunk to dull the pain, but even after 12 hours he was enduring spasms of agony.

Why did he get stung by bullet ants? He was digging out a nest and got a stung a few times. Sat down to "savor the experience," then dug some more. And got stung some more."

This guy is fucking nuts.